To wonder honestly what must go on in the minds of some men?

[VladmirsPoutine]

I've just taken my niece out for lunch. She's 16 and with the arrival of the weather she's been wearing a t-shirt and a mini skirt with her converse. Typical look for your typical teen but for just during lunch alone she was accosted by 2 different men who asked for her number. Both men clearly middle-aged and trying their luck. I admit she does look older than a teen but sheer audacity of these men hitting on a 16 year old girl really riled me.

Urgh. Such a disgusting thing for girls to have to cope with.
I'm so glad I'm in my 30s now, I was a tall blonde slim child and the amount of unwanted and inappropriate attention was terrifying. I had no idea how to respond to it. The constant effort to be aware of your surroundings and then coping with the threat of sexual violence... Its so fucked up. I wonder if it is better in other countries /cultures?

We pass an all girls secondary school in the car on the way to DD's primary. Every morning without fail the guy ahead or behind me will be literally turning their heads to gawk at the girls in uniform as we wait for traffic. Makes me feel sick as DD wants to go there

Modern day porn doesn't help.
And also one of the many reasons I told my so called boyfriend to fuck off last week. It was getting harder to have normal sex. Apparently he likes to watch young ginger girls get hammered by a big black bloke.
Yeah. Thanks for that mate.
He's 48

Some men just think they are God's gift and that it's their right as a man to be able to go up to a woman or girl and assume that they'll be interested. My teenage daughter has always had men perving at her

I've not dated for a few years but my friends who do seem to have increasingly weird stories from online dating; very perverted requests from men who just want constant casual hook ups rather than a relationship. Seems to be the way things are going.

Someone, please, ....let me know when you actually met a MAN
Not just another man Child!

Honestly every man I ever met so far in life has really disappointed me.

I got all sorts of really horrible stuff when I was a teenager. A couple I remember are:

I have relatively prominent nipples and I was out in t-shirt wearing an unpadded bra (age 14 or 15) and a bloke said to me "Are you cold or are you just pleased to see me?" It took me a moment to figure out what he was saying and I was utterly mortified, had no comeback and just felt as though I was disgusting and it was all my own fault. It was a couple of decades before I ever wore an unpadded bra again. These days I have no fucks to give when it comes to bras and nipples.

The other one was a bit scary. I had a Saturday and evening job in a chemist. We were not far from a local mental health hospital so we had lots of people coming in who had all manner of issues and the majority of them were sweet or easy to deal with with a bit of kindness and understanding. I presumed that the bloke in question was a patient, but it turned out he was just your run of the mill drunk letcher. Because I thought he just needed some kindness I was happy to answer his questions about school and what I was studying in my English classes and he told me he was a huge fan of Shakespeare. I was studying Julius Caesar and he asked if I'd read Romeo and Juliet. I hadn't. But did I know the story? Of course, I did. He then asked me how old I was. 14. He then said, "Do you know what Juliet was doing when she was your age?" Of course, I did, but I was getting quite scared now as he was trying to get closer to me, so I did that sort of laugh that as women we often do when we're scared but don't want to cause offense just in case. He then started to chase me around the island in the centre of the shop telling me he'd be my Romeo. My bloody boss hid in the pharmacy and basically left me to "defend" myself. He was reaching out and touching me and luckily, oh my god so luckily, a man came in who was a frequent customer and forced him out of the shop and had a word with my boss. It was bloody horrible. I was 14!

I was 16 or 17 when a man who kept following me from the bus down toward my home trying to get me to go out with him, punched me in the face for giving him "some lip".

There are a lot of really fucking disgusting men out there.

It’s disgusting. If it happened to my daughter, I’d be tempted to take a photo of the creep and publicise it.

Nothing changes. Aged about 15/16 I went to watch the football with my dad and some of his work colleagues. I was sat watching the game and the next thing I knew a scuffle had broken out and my dad was standing over one of the men, who was quite a good friend of his, being held back as this guy picked himself up. My dad was apoplectic with rage and we had to leave. He wouldn’t tell me what had happened but I overheard him telling my mum later, totally choked up, that this guy had been making suggestive comments about me culminating with him making the V sign over his mouth and tounge, in front of my dad! WTF was he trying to achieve by this? This was over 20 years ago. Not sure the friendship survived.

If you have a very attractive daughter, it kinds of makes you wish they weren't just so they could be safe. How sad is that?

Did you not go mental? I would have told them to fuck right off.

One of the reasons for this disgusting behaviour being so widespread is that the creeps get away with it with impunity. Just look at this thread. How many posters mentioned witnesses not reacting to the harassment? Or actively refusing to help? How many people witnessing their child being ogled said they had to control themselves otherwise they would have caused a scene?

People in this country are too fucking polite. To the point of not helping for fear of offending the offender.

If your kid gets harassed, please do make a fucking big scene. Call the spade a spade. These guys are perverts and have to be called out on that. Otherwise it will continue and get worse.

I remember years ago dh & I were driving along a road near a school and the traffic stopped due to a stop /go board and one of the workmen said something to a young girl around 14 or so in school uniform who was walking alone, she burst into tears, and I then got out the car and said what did he say to you? She was too upset to repeat it, but I shouted at the guy, You are a fucking disgrace and a pervert, he was shocked that’s someone had pulled him up. I was raging that he thought that she was fair game.

I used to work in a pub and one of the regulars was a right prick. One day I was emptying the ashtrays into a bucket and when I got to his table where he was sitting with his friends he said “ you bitch give me a blow job” so I emptied the whole ash bucket over his head. He apologised and his mates told him he was well out of order. It gave me a great sense of satisfaction to call those fuckers out.

I have thought all day about whether or not to post this but decided in favour. My ex is my ex because he was caught trying to meet a schoolgirl for sex. It was a trap though not a real child and now he's in deep deep shit. A lot of people are horrified but you honestly would not believe the number of apologists trying to excuse what he's done or even turn it round and make me responsible for it. He was bored/depressed/lonely/didn't know she was underage/if I'd given him more attention/better sex/indulged his fantasies (which unsurprisingly he never actually told me about) so he didn't need to act on them etc etc. Boys will be boys. Girls who lead men on are just as bad. So there you have it. Men - commit a sex offence and it will be your wife's fault. Or at least not yours, bad women made you do it you poor poppet. Unbelievable. And he was not any kind of stereotypical perv either, no one would have thought it of him till it happened. So I agree with the pp who said it could happen in any family. This is admittedly an extreme example but it is the consequence of normalising sexualising schoolgirls. I've been told I'm a prude and a killjoy because I find the idea of women dressing in school uniform for men's entertainment extremely distasteful. Zero fucks given. It's wrong and we are reaping what we have sown as a society. Pity it's innocent children that are the victims.

Oh, this makes me feel so sick and sad. My DD is 13, and looks her age and has been getting leery attention for the past couple of years. I’ve seen men in their 50s staring and discussing her as she walks past. A man working in a shop made a lewd gesture with his fingers and tongue (you probably know the one) at her when she was 11. Eleven, FFS. I really don’t want to be a man-hater (I have a lovely DH, brother and son and my dad was an absolute darling) but it can be hard sometimes.

And people minimise this shit all the time, including some women. My DH’s elderly aunt once said ‘well, you can see how men get themselves into trouble; these girls all look so much older than they are...’ Urgh. 😡

It makes me feel sick. I was an early developer but I still dressed like a child and I remember being accosted by grown men in the park at the age of 12. At 14 a man in a restaurant followed me to the toilets when I was out with my family to get my number. Walking home from school we were frequently cat called by men in vans. It makes me feel so worried for my daughters. And it's given me an irrational feeling of revulsion towards the majority of men I come across in public because I worry if they are like that. I know NAMALT but an awful fucking lot of them are and it's so depressing

Itscontroversial That’s absolutely horrendous, I’m so sorry you have been through that.

So much for the 'me too' movement. I am really shocked by some of these posts.
@Itscontroversial - my heart goes out to you. Thank you for posting.

That’s horrendous controversial and that you are getting blamed! Of course you are responsible for his actions

In a similar vein, though about boys - there was a teenage boy on Grindr/or some kind of messaging app. He was 14/15 and meeting older men who had sex with him. It turned out these were often professional men, I think they all knew how old he was. I think it was in the Times/Sunday times - did anyone read about it?

I had someone shout out nice tits the other night. I'm definitely not a teen. It seems there are men who just don't understand appropriate behaviour. Their behaviour was inappropriate, whatever the age. However, it is more disturbing that they've approached someone who could easily be under age.

smokeonthewater

You don't have to be attractive. I have a face like a potato, I'm overweight. I had acne, glasses and braces and it happened to me. These men don't give a fuck. A young vagina is all they want.

These casual sexist remarks are often from the last people you would expect also. A relative of mine had a close association with a Dean of a well know Cathedral. He was married with adult children but would leer and make sexual remarks about the female pupils at the school next door, as well as the female teachers. One of the Governors of the school would make sexual remarks about the female pupils, and would take any opportunity to grope them if he could.
It's hard not to feel that all men are disgusting, but my sons have a lot of respect for women and so does my OH.

3 years ago when DD1 was just 15, she and I went to a nice bookshop for a browse. After being there only a short time DD came over to me and asked if we could leave. As she did so a man about my age (late forties) approached and told me he had noticed the lovely fabric my daughter’s dress was made from (an ordinary summer sundress). I was a bit confused, nodded and smiled and she and I left the shop.

Outside DD told me that she thought the man hadn’t realised we were together at first and that whilst my back was turned looking at books he was blatantly eyeing her up and “moving in” on her. She surmised, correctly I’m sure, that saying he was admiring the fabric of her dress was because he was afraid she was going to say something to me about him staring and he needed some sort of cover story.

DD1 is a beautiful girl. But she didn’t look old for her years. She was looked like what she was - a schoolgirl. I was desperate to go back and confront him, but DD just could not tolerate a fuss; so we left it. I still feel cross and disgusted when I think about it.

I wish the DM would pick up threads like this. I tell my DH that this is what life is like for young girls and he thinks I'm exaggerating. Hearing how common it is might get make people more accepting to things like the #metoo movement. Or might make them consider confronting men like this. There's got to be something that can be done. Is it a cultural society thing or is it just biological. Do men care more about their dicks than anything else?? I wish more men were on here commenting and sympathising. I just want them to know. I fee like even the good men that I know don't really acknowledge the problem.