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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you be a bit hurt?

108 replies

Sunmersunshine88 · 02/07/2019 19:42

Family member is getting married...

There are six of us siblings and they have asked one child from each of the siblings to be on the wedding except any from mine.

I can’t help being very hurt we are a close family and this has just made me feel again like the odd one out AIBU to feel a bit snubbed?

OP posts:
TeenTimesTwo · 02/07/2019 19:43

Possibly, though it depends on the ages and sexes of the children.

Ginger1982 · 02/07/2019 19:43

Hmm, very odd. Is there a big difference in age between your kids and the ones who have been chosen? Are you maybe not as close to the family member? Is there someone else in the family you could ask about why they've done this? I would be hurt too.

Original poster
Sunmersunshine88 · 02/07/2019 19:47

I had their children on my wedding...the range of ages is 16-3 my children fall between that range.

I asked others in the family but they said I was being over sensitive about it

OP posts:
MrsLinManuelMiranda · 02/07/2019 19:48

Sorry OP, do you mean that none of your children have been invited to the wedding at all, or that they are not part of the wedding as in flower girl/ pageboy?

Original poster
Sunmersunshine88 · 02/07/2019 19:49

Part of

OP posts:
Riceandthings · 02/07/2019 19:49

I wouldnt go at all. But I'm probably an asshole like that.

AmericasAss · 02/07/2019 19:50

Is there a big difference though.

Like are the other siblings closer, speak to the people getting married more?

Ginger1982 · 02/07/2019 19:50

Is it one of your siblings who is getting married?

IvanaPee · 02/07/2019 19:51

On the face of it that sounds awful!

Original poster
Sunmersunshine88 · 02/07/2019 19:52

Yes my sibling

No we are equally close or so I thought. Finding that out today has just made me really sad as I have always been there for that sibling and helped them
ALOT compared to the others

OP posts:
sacope · 02/07/2019 19:53

On the wedding?

Do you mean bridesmaid/page boy?

Original poster
Sunmersunshine88 · 02/07/2019 19:54

Yes mixture of bridesmaids flower girls and page boys...my children ‘fit’ in the age range as the others

OP posts:
Torridon19 · 02/07/2019 19:54

OP - Do they think your children are uncontrollable ?

7yo7yo · 02/07/2019 19:54

Lesson learned.
Stop helping.
But if your that close why can’t you ask them?

ComeTheFuck0nBridget · 02/07/2019 19:55

I think that's really mean. I wouldn't be able to not ask them why any of my children weren't included.

Original poster
Sunmersunshine88 · 02/07/2019 19:56

My children are as well behaved as the others honestly...I did ask them but got a ‘oh this was mums idea’ then spoke to my mum and she said she sees nothing wrong with it. Told them I was really hurt about it but they said I was being over sensitive about it all

OP posts:
Ginger1982 · 02/07/2019 19:57

I don't understand how your mum can see nothing wrong with it! How can she think it's ok to exclude your kids like that? How do you get on with her?

UnicornRun · 02/07/2019 19:58

I would keep saying how upset you are about it and that it is really unkind to leave out entire load of nieces and nephews and how upset they will be not be involved. If they still act so nonchalant about it then I'd consider not going. Harsh but they obviously aren't that bothered about you to quite plainly exclude your children.

TerribleTwosPhase · 02/07/2019 20:00

Yanbu op I would be hurt by that too. Im amazed your mum doesnt see anything wrong with her granchildren being excluded from the others either!

sparkleandsunshine · 02/07/2019 20:02

I think its unkind, I would be hurt and I would wonder why your mum thinks it’s acceptable really!

Awrite · 02/07/2019 20:02

Yes, I would definitely be hurt.

Well done for speaking up.

And, agree with pp - stop helping.

Original poster
Sunmersunshine88 · 02/07/2019 20:05

There’s been a few things I’ve been thinking for a while I should take a step back from my family in regards to how they treat me the main on being that two of my siblings still hug my cheating ex husband when they see him and NOTHING is seen as wrong with that even though I’ve told them I find it hurtful. I think this has just done it for me though and as a single parent I’m a bit scared of backing off as all I have is them

OP posts:
BlueSkiesLies · 02/07/2019 20:08

If you’re close why don’t you just chat it through?

sacope · 02/07/2019 20:10

Yeah that's weird. I would ask the sibling who said it was mums idea why the agreed with mum that it was a good idea.

Original poster
Sunmersunshine88 · 02/07/2019 20:12

I’ve tried talking to them about it but was told I was over sensitive. The rest of the family have just told me that that’s just how it is and I was unreasonable to even have said anything

OP posts: