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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have let my DS2 have a (wash out) crazy colour on his hair?

144 replies

Mischone · 02/07/2019 12:24

DS2 Is obsessed with all things blue and has been pleading to have blue hair for a party since he saw it on somebody else.

we thought what's the harm it's a bit of fun and will wash out so we did it for him. The thing we used was called crazy colours and isn't a proper hair dye and doesn't have all the harsh chemicals in.

DS is thrilled but my fathers reaction was "what the f, why have you done that to his hair"

Suddenly what started as a bit of fun to make DS happy has made me not want to take him outside like it. Is it really so terrible? I've washed it twice but there's still a tinge so will need a few more washes definitely.

Am I a terrible parent?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mischone · 02/07/2019 15:46

Sounds fab Loyaultemelie I'm sure they'll look ace

OP posts:
Myfoolishboatisleaning · 02/07/2019 15:55

I don’t see the problem, I bet it looked cute. As others said, there is little difference between wash out dye and face paint or nail varnish. And the OP did a patch test, I bet no one does that when putting a face full of face paint on their two year olds.

LorelaiRoryEmily · 02/07/2019 15:58

Yabu to colour a two year olds hair. I’m a hairdresser and I’m all for expressing yourself through your hair but on a 2 year old I would absolutely judge you for that.

literategiraffe · 02/07/2019 16:10

YANBU, it sounds like you were sensible with the type of dye you used and with the patch test etc. It has literally no effect on anyone else so I can't see the harm.
I bet he's well chuffed with his blue hair and by the time he's bored of it it'll have washed out.

Dadadadededadeda · 02/07/2019 16:10

OP you have basically admitted you did it as you like the idea of it being non-conformist. I'm as non-conformistm as they come and have had my hair all sorts of permanent colours but your child is not a vehicle for you to promote how non-conformist you can be. Next time use something that actually washes straight out, as per my recommendations. The hair absorbs and holds on to dyes even if they are semi-permanent and that does actually mean the hair is damaged in some way.

marvellousnightforamooncup · 02/07/2019 16:15

He's not in school so won't get into trouble for having an outlandish hair style, the product was safe, we did a patch test, it made him extremely happy

Crack on then. I really don't see an issue. Maybe try hair chalks next time.

Missingstreetlife · 02/07/2019 16:17

Let him have his hair blue ffs. Time enough to be dull and boring later. What possible harm can it do?

Original poster
Mischone · 02/07/2019 16:19

I didn't say I'm non conformist? I said I feel as though the only reason people would have a problem with it is because it looks non conformist

Can those who disapprove explain to me why that is? The only reasonable argument for not doing it would be incase of a reaction which didn't apply here because I did a patch test 48 hours before adding the colour

Very interested to hear exactly why it's unreasonable

OP posts:
magneticmumbles · 02/07/2019 16:26

A really cheap shampoo will get it out, or even washing up liquid.

Bluntness100 · 02/07/2019 16:33

I said I feel as though the only reason people would have a problem with it is because it looks non conformist

That's not the reason. It's because an An infant is not an accessory. They are not a doll to be dressed up and hair dyed. My gut feeling and I suspect that of others, is you wanted to do this. For some mad reason you thought it would be cute and funny. Like when people dye the fur on their dogs. Or dress them up on weird outfits. Pretending they are some form of accessory.

It's not cute, cool, or funny. A nine year old can make a decision on hair colour and knows what they are requesting to be allowed to do. A two year old with bright blue hair and it's all about the parent thinking they are some sort of toy.

AyBeeCee10 · 02/07/2019 16:41

Not at 2yo and walking around like a punk. I too would be wtf at your parenting.

Original poster
Mischone · 02/07/2019 16:41

I refute that completely, I do not see my children as toys

OP posts:
KidLorneRoll · 02/07/2019 16:45

Meh, what harm does it do? It's easily reversible, it makes the kid happy and people who think it makes a 2 year old look like a punk need to obtain a bit of a grip, to be honest.

HopelessLayout · 02/07/2019 16:48

The last time I used any such product on my hair it never washed out completely and I had a permanent yellow tint (the dye was orange) until I cut it off. Times may have changed though.

BettysLeftTentacle · 02/07/2019 16:51

Jesus the things people get their knickers in a twist over and then can’t/won’t say why Hmm

I mean really, why do you care so much about what other people think OP? It’s literally hurt nobody, not one person. All you’ve done is make a little boy happy for a fairly short amount of time. How terrible. Kids should never request anything and be miserable all the time because they should never get anything they want.
Personally, I commend you OP for giving your DS some agency and autonomy over his own body, in a controlled and considered way, that’s allowed him to feel good about himself without crossing any boundaries or harming anyone. I vote, you’re a damn good parent Smile

Aprillygirl · 02/07/2019 16:52

•Aprillygirl why ? Do two year olds have to learn harm less fun is not acceptable?•

What fun could a 2 year old possibly get from having blue hair? What happens if next week he decides his favourite colour is red,and the week after green? Talking of which the male child's favourite colour is blue, which is hardly non conformist is it? Hmm Making a fashion victim out of a child hardly out of nappies just doesn't sit well with me at all and just screams 'attention seeker' to me.

BettysLeftTentacle · 02/07/2019 16:54

What happens if next week he decides his favourite colour is red,and the week after green?

Oh I don’t know, it gets washed out maybe?! Christ on a bike, at least try to read the OP’s posts.

MonstranceClock · 02/07/2019 16:55

What's wrong with looking like a punk??

Aprillygirl · 02/07/2019 17:04

Oh I don’t know, it gets washed out maybe?! Christ on a bike, at least try to read the OP’s posts.

I realise that, but my point is is OP going to keep on dying it when her DC requests it or did she only want to make him happy this once?

usernameuser · 02/07/2019 17:08

What's wrong with looking like a punk??

Nothing, if that's what you want to look like as a teenager/adult - your choice.
This is nothing about what the two year old wants to look like and all about what OP wants him to look like.

KidLorneRoll · 02/07/2019 17:09

"What fun could a 2 year old possibly get from having blue hair? "

Have you not met a 2 year old, ever?

BettysLeftTentacle · 02/07/2019 17:10

Does it matter? Even if she does keep on dying it what terrible thing happening are you envisaging? Also, I’m sure she is more than capable in parenting her child and managing his expectations. You’re making crap up to suit your imaginary narrative. Find a more worthwhile cause to clutch your pearls over.

PristineCondition · 02/07/2019 17:12

Fuck me she put a wash in on his hair she didnt dip him in fucking acid.

BettysLeftTentacle · 02/07/2019 17:13

DS2 Is obsessed with all things blue and has been pleading to have blue hair for a party since he saw it on somebody else.

Have I missed something? Where does it say ‘I wanted to dye DS’ hair blue’?

Mirali · 02/07/2019 17:13

I voted yanbu and am sticking with it now i know his age as i see no harm in it.