Is this weird ? Dh comes home from work parks on the drive which runs down along the house, then walks across the front garden so he can look in the window

[Lardlizard]

He must do it surely to spy on what we are Upto as he is clearly going out of his way as it’s an l shaped house and the walks past he front door, across the front lawn then looks jn the window

I think it’s weird

He thinks I’m weird for thinking it’s weird

He’s reason he’s doing it to say hello?! Well be quick to come straight in the door

Acrimissima, my first thought was Bill Bryson too!!
DH sometimes does this because if he knocks the door the dog goes mental (I know he has issues) and he cant use his key because invariably one of the kids has left theirs in the door!
He would absolutely love it if I flashed at him
It doesn't bother me at all, why would it? He lives here

I’m with you OP, I’d hate to glance up and see someone staring in the window regardless of who they are. I hate getting frights and if someone kept doing something like that I’d get very annoyed very quickly.

My DF always does this usually with a big smile on his face or a bang on the window, if I'm in the kitchen he'll peer over the side fence, it's all to make me laugh or shit myself especially if i'm engrossed in something. He's done things like this to make me jump since day 1, all part of our humour & my heart condition!! Thinks my insurance will pay out if I pop my clogs through shock
It makes me laugh & puts a smile on my face plus it makes me happy because he's home.
It also means he doesn't have to knock & make the dogs bark as he doesn't take his keys when I'm home & the door is always locked.
I guess it depends on your relationship. If DF stopped doing it I'd be more concerned tbh, he silliness is what makes him!!

I would find the behaviour a little odd although I wouldn't necessarily have a problem with it.

What I WOULD have a problem with is him completely disregarding that you don't like it and it makes you uncomfortable. He should stop it because you don't like it, not just ignore your feelings.

PIL do this and I cannot stand it.
I frosted the windows to avoid them doing it in our previous house and thankfully the two front rooms in our new house are ones we don't use very much.
They also would never go through our gate, they always stepped over the wall onto the neighbours path and walked through their permanently open gate.

Yeah I think gays the worse thing he know I don’t like it because I’ve told him...He just refuses to listen
He's a voyeur who gets sexual kicks out of watching you when you don't know you're being watched.
It's probably a sexual fetish of his.

How do you feel staying with someone who chooses to make you feel uncomfortable in your own home, disrespects you, ignores your needs/requests and deliberately carries on the abusive behaviour?

Frankly i'd be giving him an ultimatum.

this thread is getting better.

Close the blinds, every day at around the time he's due home.

I'd be pissed off about this too!

(If not the blinds, go and sit in another room, or go out)

@SavingSpaces2019 what a bizarre reaction. Says more about you than OP’s husband 😳

Context is everything. I’m imagining my DP doing this, and it would be very sweet. Like a little precious moment of seeing his family through the window. And a funny little quirky routine that our household adopts.

Disagree with people who say it’s weird that he does it when OP says she doesn’t like it. If he likes doing it because it’s a special moment to him after work, and she doesn’t like him doing it for some reason why is her opinion more valid? Live and let live as much as possible for a happy household surely?

It's probably a sexual fetish of his.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Oh dear god, I've heard it all now!

Stand behind the curtains (preferably with a clown mask on) and make him jump.

Habit broken.

Have I missed where OP clarifies if he's a loving husband or if she doesn't trust him? Funny how divided this thread is, sadly it shows the crap some people deal with and so can't trust. If it's a family thing I think it's lovely!

Licking the front door is very definitely completely batshit crazy weirdo 😂 😂 😂

Locking the front door is not 😂

Whether he means something sinister or something innocent, the fact remains that the OP doesn't like the feeling of being watched when she's unawares. I wouldn't like to look up and see anybody (family or foe) watching me either. She doesn't like it and he's ignoring her feelings. If someone does something that bothers another person, even innocently, then that person should stop (assuming that what they're doing isn't a necessary activity).

Lardlizard I know you've told him it's 'weird' and he says you're 'weird', but has he ever said exactly why he does it/why he thinks it's OK?

Just out of curiosity, does he pass remarks about what he sees? I mean, is he critical ('Letting them watch telly again?') or is he nice ('It was so sweet seeing them snuggled up on the couch together watching telly')? It may speak to his motives.

Unfortunately if he's bound and determined to do it, there's not much you can do to stop him, but you can take action to make yourself feel 'unwatched' in your own home. If he gets home about the same time each day (or you can predict when he'll be home) I'd either close the curtains or move out of the room near the time you expect him home. Preferably the latter as it would appear less 'pointed', iyswim.

He's a voyeur who gets sexual kicks out of watching you when you don't know you're being watched.
It's probably a sexual fetish of his.

God I love this fucking website

Maybe you could turn the tables.

Since DCs were small, we have always had a tradition of hiding as soon as we hear DHs car pulling up. There was always a big pantomime with "where has everybody gone?" while he dragged people out from under the table, behind curtains etc. The 'kids' are in their 20s now, and we still do it when they are home.

Sexual fetishist 😂

I have to say, there have been occasions when we have genuinely not been home and poor DH has been wandering round the house theatrically whisking back curtains.

Since DCs were small, we have always had a tradition of hiding as soon as we hear DHs car pulling up. There was always a big pantomime with "where has everybody gone?" while he dragged people out from under the table, behind curtains etc. The 'kids' are in their 20s now, and we still do it when they are home.

We had something similar when DH worked out of town. The DC would 'disguise' themselves and DH would pretend not to know them then act surprised when they whipped off their 'disguise'. Mine are in their 30s now and I'd LOVE to see them do it again!

what a bizarre reaction. Says more about you than OP’s husband
Think what you like - i've had enough experience of other people's batshitness to trust my gut.

Since DCs were small, we have always had a tradition of hiding as soon as we hear DHs car pulling up. There was always a big pantomime with "where has everybody gone?" while he dragged people out from under the table, behind curtains etc. The 'kids' are in their 20s now, and we still do it when they are home.

You're probably a sexual fetishist 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

My OH sometimes does this but only to scare the shit out of me when he returns from work at 10:30pm. He finds it wildly amusing.

I need another break from MN. I took a loooong break and came back into what seems to be Fucking Batshit Comments Week on every thread I've looked at.

OP, FWIW, I guess your DH should listen if you really don't like this, but I'm probably with your DH on the general nothingness of it - he's looking at his own family, through the window of his own house, when he gets home.

"I would HATE this. I hate the idea of being observed when I think I'm not being observed"

But he's standing in front of the window, in plain sight. How can the OP possibly miss that he can see her?

Unless the OP is going to offer a massive drip feed, and her DH has an invisibility cloak which he puts on to look through the window, or he has installed that one-way stuff so that he can see in but the OP cannot see out.