why are proms a thing now?

[reytmardy]

This seems to be an expensive and sometimes stressful occasion at a time when the kids are already exhausted.
We left school without a prom and we're happy . Please educate me on this. I have a 13 year old thanks

Im 41 didn't have one nor a leavers ball in the early to mid 90s.

A end of term disco is fine but these have become a huge over commercialised thing with lots of money spent.

I don't like it personally.

Ugh I think it's madness

I went to a Prom last Friday, to drop off a post GCSE child. I was quite meh about it.....wondering what the fuss was about.

When I left I understood:

It's a landmark, a point of reference, a chance to dress up and just be totally in the moment, celebrating the end of an era, which happens to be a very important one - the end of the school period.

I was glad that I made the investment to make it a special day for my child. And I didn't go overboard with the costs - she did her own makeup, the dress was amazing (well sourced after a long search at a very reasonable price), hair was done at home, took ages but looked like a million dollars.

Now....I would do it over and over again.
It was Absolutely Fabulous:)

That’s a lovely post @alwayslearning789. My dc are only 7 and 10, but I’ll remember this in years to come before I exclaim “how much!”. DS is actually moving from First school to Middle School next term, but as the whole class is going and the two schools are on the same site, it doesn’t seem so much of an occassion.

Leavers' disco in my day, held at local pub (I'm in my 40s). It wasn't a big deal at all. People turned up in jeans or whatever they normally wore on a night out, and for the first time smoked openly in front of the teachers, which of course was perfectly legal back then.

It's a shame if teenagers nowadays feel under pressure to wear dresses costing a fortune and to arrive in limos.

I loathe them too. I also think they are partly to blame for the rise of the Bridezilla.

I’m 30 (31 this year) and prom was a big thing when I was in school

It’s not new

I'm also in my 40s and wore a ballgown, long gloves, and my grandmother's evening coat and jewelry. It was a HUGE deal. And lots of fun.

The school I taught in was the first in our area to have a Leavers Dinner at a posh hotel, early 1980s, we expected a disaster but it was lovely and enlightening, some had never sat at a table to eat. We kept a close watch on the bar and one said on the Monday that he didn't realise it was possible to have such a good time without drinking.
Since then they seem to have got out of hand, I don't envy parents on a tight budget.

Having said that, I was in Northern Ireland, and that sorry of ball had been a tradition for longer, with debs in the Republic and formals in NI.

We had a leavers dinner 15 years ago, we got our make up done etc. I think it's perhaps the term "prom" that's new. What age are people having them? For us it was end of sixth form.

They were just called dances rather than proms.
My late gran and grandpa danced together at theirs about 80 years ago.

And I'm almost 32, it was prom when I left.

It's because ID laws got stricter and it's more difficult to just go to the pub as we did in the late 80s!

DDs is probably going to have cost us £500 adding everything up. It is a shocking amount of money, I paid more for a dress than I've ever spent on an item of clothing for myself, and crap for people who don't have the money. She's looking forward to it all though.

I am the wrong side of 50 and when I left middle school for secondary there was nothing and then when I left secondary there was a leavers disco. Nothing fancy in the school hall, no fancy prom dress or limo. Most were in jeans and tees, bit of snogging behind the hall and some cheap smuggled in martini.
It was leavers only but you could invite someone from the year below as your guest but most didn’t as taking a date was not a thing as you might miss out on a snog with someone better.

What age are people having them?

Our leavers' disco was at 16, when we left the 5th year. There was nothing after A Levels, but everyone went to Sixth Form Colleges in my area, so you'd only been there two years, and not with many of the same people you'd been at school with - so there wasn't the same sense of parting after a long era.

My flabber is gasted by the amount of money spent! It seems unethical. All for a party but spending hundreds? Really?
Hope my dcs high school doesn’t do this - we are in a socially and economically deprived area so they probably don’t.

What better way to remind the poor kids they have nothing so the rich kids can feel better.

I would be happy if schools were not allowed to hold them anymore. Not only is it extravagant and a bad American tradition, but it strikes me as indirectly promoting heterosexuality, and so for any teenager unsure of their preference or in the closet (so to speak), at the very least unhelpful.

If my decades-old memories of 'Sweet Valley High' are correct, it isn't only at the end of year the US high schools have proms - there was a 'homecoming' one as well (as in 'cheer up sleepy Jean') - something to do with a big football match. I wonder if that will catch on here too?

I'm nearly 45 and we had a prom. Nowhere near as extravagant as these days, no one rocked up in limos or anything but we all got dressed up in ball gowns and suits.

it strikes me as indirectly promoting heterosexuality

None of the schools I know of require a partner. There is a lot of gender conformity though.

@doyouthinktheysaurus You are the poster I think who was a debutante? If yes then I expect your experience about school leaving dos was not the norm then.

I think they are nice for the kids leaving school, but like everything else they can be OTT. I saw someone on a fb post the other day whose daughter had had 3 makeup and 4 hair trials for hers. I mean, really?! I only had one of each for my own wedding!

"don't get me started on the pre prom competitive drinks at parents houses nor the after parties. "

In a way you have to admire any parent who still has the energy for the competition by the end of Yr 13 - most I think would be too jaded by then even to turn up at one! I never understand about after parties - is it another clique thing?