why are proms a thing now?

[reytmardy]

This seems to be an expensive and sometimes stressful occasion at a time when the kids are already exhausted.
We left school without a prom and we're happy . Please educate me on this. I have a 13 year old thanks

They're just a glorified end of term disco.

The one at the end of 6th form is usually fancier . Ds's was £35 for the meal/ venue , £200 for his suit ( he needed one to take to uni so it was part of his 18th present) £10 cab and he paid for drinks as he has a part time job.

There is a lot of pressure on girls ,nails,hair,make up, long dress etc-very glad I don't have a daughter!

God knows.

DD has just had her year 13 one.

Dress was £180 - end of line one with a 60% reduction.
Hair was £40
Shoes £30
Handbag £20
Ticket £40
Eyebrows £15.

She had been muttering about having her makeup done and I put my foot down. I did my own make up for my wedding and I'm buggered if I'm paying for her to have hers done for a disco.

They all left the prom at 9pm and went round the pubs.....so all that money for 2 hours! I could cry.

And when we bought the prom dress it was at a proper prom dress shop, people had driven for 6 hours to come....we are only up the road.

The person in the queue in front of us spent over £1000. Didn't see what she got so I assume it must have been shoes and handbag as well. Some of the dresses were easily approaching 1k and most were over £500.

I was at a small independent school & when we left in the summer of 1990, the school paid for a barbecue!
We spent the afternoon & evening lounging by the school's outdoor pool - it was a gloriously sunny afternoon. Later on we adjourned to the local pub where again the school had put money behind the bar and they also paid for our taxis home.
I guess as our parents had been paying a fortune in fees for years the school could be generous....

I'm in my mid-fifties and there was nothing of the sort heard of where I grew up. Starchy school wouldn't even let us run our own disco at lunchtime because we might get our innocent young minds polluted by all that new-fangled popular music.

At least now leaving school is marked. And the teachers look like they enjoy it too. Relieved I have boys though!

Our school leavers disco was for when we were 16. Most people left school at 16 then. The sixth form was so tiny that the school did nothing for those leaving at 18.

IM 30 and had a school “prom” in year 6

At some point in my career as a school teacher we decided that we should tell pupils that they, and everything they did, were worthy of continuous praise. These grossly expensive proms are the embodiment of that.

We didn't have even a disc,people just disappeared as they finished A levels,our friendship group survived a bit longer as we all drifted off to uni.
My DD has just had her year 11 prom.Dress Debenhams sale£210 down to £85.Shoes £15,ticker £35.
We are recouping the cost selling some of my now vintage dresses on eBay.Dd want to sell hers but looked so elegant in it that I will persuade her to keep iflt for a while'just in case',she is going to different college to her friends so noone else will have seen it.
Some of her friends had spent a lot and bought post prom party dresses which were not worn as the party was in a barn and jeans and hoodies were the uniform.Dd doesn't usually like thing like this but didn't get home until 4am and was glad she didn't miss it.

We had a ball at the end of 6th form, nothing at 16 but then in the Dutch education system it's all very different.

These events don't have to cost loads. DD1's 6th form ball dress was £17 from a charity shop, she had the shoes and the jewellery already, did her own hair and makeup. Ticket was £40 but that included a 3 course meal.

DD2 got her prom ticket free because she was a prefect. Her dress was £28 in a sale (posh shop nearby that sells to racegoers), she has matching shoes from a wedding we went to last year, makeup, hair and accessories will all be kept simple and done by her.

I had a ball in 1994. Black tie, in a hotel, with an after-party in a private room in a club with a DJ.

45 here. No leavers ball or disco at mine.

We had a leavers ball back in the 90s. The boys wore black tie. The girls wore nice high street dresses. Did our own make up and hair.

Colleagues daughters have had proms this year. Spending hundreds on blingy princess dresses, tanning, nails, lashes, hair, make up, limos.

By the time DS leaves secondary, I fear the school field will have to be a helipad. The spending is insane.

We just had a school disco back in the mid 80s when I left school. Now, these proms (awful Americanism) seem to be just a way to show off and more than outdo the Joneses. Awful.

Those who say this is nothing new as they had one, and they left school 13, 14, 15 years ago - I still think of that as very recent.
They are a "new" thing depending on your age. They certainly did not happen at one time.

Lots of secondary schools did have a school disco aka someone playing records with a few flashing lights in the school dining room. Fun yes, glamorous no. It was the kind of affair that you would now get at an ordinary 6 year olds birthday party.

But even then some schools though discos were too much and organised instead country dancing in the dining room or gym as the end of school celebration. I remember reading a letter in a national newspaper from a teacher who was bemoaning how some schools were giving in to pressure from pupils to have an end of school disco.

People have more money these days, and so kids expectations are higher. They certainly would not be happy with what we had in the past.

35 here and we had a winter ball and leavers prom for both years of sixth form and some of our friends had balls for their 18ths. I only attended the 18ths and the Leavers Prom but looking back must have spent just under £500 . My dress was $300 (£200ish pounds), a “proper” Prom dress bought in Macy’s on a US holiday. Hair up was £18, fake tan and nails £50, shoes £90, bag £40, share of vintage car hire £35, ticket £18, then there was the official photography etc and drinks. It really wasn’t a “glorified disco”. It was more like a fancy wedding reception. The venue wasn’t even a hotel as seems to be typical, it was a venue with a 5star restaurant, huge cabaret show bar and nightclub that had been exclusively hired out for the night, so there were three floors, plus a huge rooftop terrace overlooking the sea. We had a champagne reception (for the 18 year olds only) and were formally announced on arrival, hot and cold buffet throughout the night, chocolate fountain, professional photographers, excellent DJ and two very high quality live bands. It was an independent school so I suppose more OTT! I honestly didn’t realise the expense we went to as a family until now. It was seen as a once in a lifetime no expenses spared thing.

I can see that this would be totally unaffordable for a lot of families.

I’m only now realising that 18th balls were not a “thing” too! They were usually held in the ballroom of 4 or 5 star hotels, with a sit down meal, Dj, band etc and we all wore formal dress. I didn’t have one (my parents took me on a uk city break for my 18th) but a good few people in my Year did. One even rented a canal boat for the night and did a party cruise!

Looking back it’s absolutely insane.

Easily spend up to £1000. My friends daughter spent £450**on her dress 😬🙄 £60 for hair, £40 for male up, transport Eg limo or party bus. Boys this year hired ferraris and porches it was akin to a wedding. You've never seen anything like it

@reytmardy

They aren't a new thing. I left school 13 years ago and they were happening then, they'd been happening for a long time before I left too.

By the time DS leaves secondary, I fear the school field will have to be a helipad.

At an Independent school where I worked, we had helicopter arrivals for Leaver’s Balls and for my prom we had “novelty” arrivals (including the car I arrived in). The most ridiculous was a vintage fire engine! We had “Summer Holiday” style 1960s coaches, Herbie “Love Bug”, Two Fat Ladies style motorbike and side car, Hummers. It was madness.

We had a leavers ball back in 1995. Long frocks, boys wore tuxes, school hired a venue, we had a bbq and they had a proper photographer there etc. Only real difference was there wasn't the fuss over transportation as there is now. Was a great night though and we all looked forward to it for the whole time we were at school!

I think the prom thing is nice. My daughter is Year 8 and already looking forward to it!

We had a leavers party, less flashy, cheaper for parents but fun

But posh schools go one further - leavers ball (and parents get invited!)

What a racket! Limos FFS.

I worked with someone who said her family hired a glass carriage and horses like Katie Price's wedding, for her prom.

Left Primary School in the 70s, had nothing. Left secondary school and sixth form in the 80s, nothing at either of those, not even a disco (although secondary school was a convent and all girls so that might have made a difference)