why are proms a thing now?

[reytmardy]

This seems to be an expensive and sometimes stressful occasion at a time when the kids are already exhausted.
We left school without a prom and we're happy . Please educate me on this. I have a 13 year old thanks

1980s Leavers ball - I wore a dress borrowed from my cousin which had previously been my aunts and brushed my hair. The whole 6th form shared a electric blue mascara , someones mums lipstick and lipcote.
Girls these days look amazing but put in alot of expensive and effort.

When I left primary we had nothing. Secondary we had a school disco in the school. Most of us just wore our best clothes, nothing new bought. I enjoyed it, but it really was not a big deal.

@flowery, I paid for it all myself, I started working part time as soon as I turned 16 (I was one of the older ones in my year group so had already been working almost 10 months)
My dress was £180, ticket £25, limo £50, shoes about £20 in sale and then £25 for drinks and taxi home at the end of the night.

@applepieicecream I honestly have no idea and dread to ask.

It’s American - isn’t it? My dd has a school disco 😂

I would have thought with all the kids being so climate conscious they wouldn't be interested in all the kerfuffle of proms.

oh wait … it's only occasional western climate consciousness, isn't it?

We had a leavers disco at primary school, I think discos just aren’t cool anymore really. There was a prom in secondary but I skipped it, I thought it was moronic and embarrassing at the time (kinda still do...)

It’s not a new thing but definitely is another Americanism.

I loathe them! I am 61 and when we finished O levels in 1974 people just left or went into 6th form! We had a school trip to Weymouth at end of 6th form. My DCs have had no end of ridiculousness about year 11 prom, year 12 prom and leavers ball . And three different expensive dresses and expenses associated with posh hotels ripping off schools.......don't get me started on the pre prom competitive drinks at parents houses nor the after parties. The kids seem to like them but with the accompanying worry about hair dress and make up I am in despair

@BobTheFishermansWife I imagine that wouldn't be possible for many teens, especially these days. I think less employers are prepared to take on teenage staff, although maybe I'm wrong.

Plus, as you highlighted, costs have gone up even more now.

I just hate the idea of pressure being placed on families without lots of cash lying around for this stuff. Plenty of people struggle to save for a family holiday, and feeling pressure to spend hundreds on one event for one child must be a nightmare.

I'm 45 and didn't have leavers disco or prom

"The whole 6th form shared a electric blue mascara , someones mums lipstick and lipcote."

Love it! Can picture the photos now, an array of teenagers with matching blue mascara!

A lot of the “pressure” is in people’s heads though. My daughter’s prom was three years ago. Her dress was £35 in Debenhams sale. (It’s a Quiz dress with a ton of beading, really beautiful and good quality and over £100 full price, but she had the sense to buy it the previous January.) She wore glittery flip flops from Primark, did her own hair and makeup, I paid £20 for her nails. My mum lent her a 1920s beaded evening bag that matched her dress. Her boyfriend already had a suit so his total cost was a new shirt and a tie to match her dress. They got a lift there with a friend’s dad and my husband picked them up. The tickets were (I think) £20 and we could pay in instalments. Total cost, £75 and they had just as good a time as the people who spent stupid amounts of money 🤷‍♀️.

They dont have to be expensive... only if you choose it to be. DD got a dress for £45 that can be worn again. She already had some nice heeled shoes that matched it. The ticket was £30. She did her own makeup, painted her own nails and I curled her hair. Her dad drove her and friend there.
To have a limo is just ridiculous!

48, central London comp

We celebrated leaving school by getting the bus the the end of the line and drinking Liebfraumilch in a field. Because, you know, we were cool.

No prom or leavers disco or anything like that.

it's AFAIK relatively new for kids at the end of year 11. quite long established, though usually called a 'ball' for kids in yr 13.

• sorry, for kids in the sixth form generally.

I'm 32, they were a thing when I left school 17 years ago!

DD's prom was certainly seemed more fun than the tedious RoA night that my school had, the most exciting thing there was a sharing bowl of wotsits.

We certainly didn't feel pressured to spend hundreds of pounds, prom ticket was £15, her dress was beautiful and cost £70 but there were much cheaper options available, she wore shoes she already had, did her own hair and make up. Her and her friends shared a black cab that cost a couple of quid and I bought a bottle of champagne.

Looking at the price of suits I think DS's will probably cost us more especially as we'll have to fork out for smart shoes too.

The worst thing about DD's was that the head girl and deputies who organised it created awards which they awarded themselves. It was cringeworthy!

Being Americanised? our local University has now changed the Vice Chancellor's title to Vice President 🙄

@BikeRunSki that sounds like mine.. I'm 44, we went to the local park and had a picnic with bottles of Thunderbirds!
My sister is 39 and she didn't have a prom.

I'm 48 and definitely unheard of when I left school

I’m 45 and we had one. As did my brother, who is 49.

All the local schools had them, and it’s not as if we were in some trendy London borough. This was rural Scotland, not known for being ahead of the trend!

Definitely not a new thing.

• " iirc mine cost somewhere around £300 - that's ticket, limo, dress, shoes. Mum did my hair and a family friend did my makeup. My cousin had her prom 2 weeks ago and it cost in the region of £1000. That to me is insane money."*

Your cousin's family clearly have money to burn.

Dd is going next week and total cost is more like £200 - limo 40, dress 50, ticket 20, shoes 25 accessories 10, nails 30 and drinks 30. Hair and makeup is going to be done by her and her friends.

I'm 34 and it was a 'thing' when I was at school too. But I agree that with the advent of social media they do seem to have gotten more elaborate and the expectation to spend silly amounts of money is more recent. But then the same could be said for hen DP's, stag do's, kids parties etc.

After O levels we mainly moved into the sixth form so it was no big deal. After A levels I think there was some kind of lunch but it was unmemorable (girls school). As we all finished at different times it just sort of petered out...

I think it's great that occasions are marked with something now. Agree the expense can get ridiculous though ...

Left school in 1983. Head of fifth year suggested a disco but we persuaded him to organise a year group trip to Spain instead! About 40 of us went so I think school leavers and their expectations to mark the end of school in some way has always been there just in different forms.
It was a huge deal when my son left 10 years go.

We had a leavers ball. I’m 43. Got a dress from Bay Trading or something similarly 90s and dyed my hair with Harmony hair dye for the occasion.
Everything is just so overblown now because of social media and people competing