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Original poster

why are proms a thing now?

158 replies

reytmardy · 01/07/2019 13:45

This seems to be an expensive and sometimes stressful occasion at a time when the kids are already exhausted.
We left school without a prom and we're happy . Please educate me on this. I have a 13 year old thanks

OP posts:
DobbyLovesSocks · 01/07/2019 14:33

I left school in 2000 and we had a dinner dance - not on the scale of what they have these days I don't think but everyone dressed nicely. It seems a nice way to finish off this stage of education before they go to college. I don't agree with spending 100's though - you know about event months in advance so can plan accordingly.

At my school, as we were the 'class of 2000' we had a year book (group of students sent most of year in their own time creating a book of our time at school) and as far as I know this is something that continued after we left. I still have mine and look at it occasionally

slimmerwinner · 01/07/2019 14:34

Not that new. Left school in 2005 and we have pre-drinks party, limos, after party, professional hair and make up. All a bit silly but quite harmless, no?

WhatchaMaCalllit · 01/07/2019 14:52

We had debs and pre-debs back in the 1980s and 90's in Ireland (and I'm fairly sure they were happening before then too).

Not a new phenomenon. Perhaps it is the hype and peer pressure around these events brought on by social media that makes them appear as though they are new thing.

  • having to hire a limo vs getting a parent to drive you
  • having to buy a gown vs borrowing/hiring one
  • having to have spray tan done vs doing a home tan or none at all
  • having your hair/make-up done vs just getting your hair done and doing your own make-up

Lots of things brought on by peer pressure and the likes of instagram and having photos posted instantly.

Original poster
reytmardy · 01/07/2019 14:53

I am being grumpy and will lighten up 😁

OP posts:
familycourtq · 01/07/2019 14:55

Because we seem to be hell bent on aping everything about the USA in the UK for some odd reason.

Pinkyyy · 01/07/2019 14:56

They're on their way out. Parents can't afford them and students are getting anxiety over not being able to look good enough.

PopcornZoo · 01/07/2019 14:56

Ball does sound much nicer than prom.

TeenTimesTwo · 01/07/2019 14:59

It's a new name for something that has been going on for years.

You can spend as much or as little as you want really.

DD1 had a pre-owned dress that we got blinged up.
We got her hair put up and nails done (present from me for working so hard for GCSEs). Friend drove her in convertible car.
Cheap jewellery and shoes and accessories that were bought to be reusable.

FrangipaniBlue · 01/07/2019 15:02

We had a leavers disco at the end of y11 and a prom/ball at the end of y13 (late 90s) and mine was one of only two secondaries in the area that had a leavers ball.

That said, these two schools were the only ones with sixth forms, the others only went up to y11 so still had leavers discos.

I believe all the schools in my area now have leavers proms though - so I'd say it's only in the last 5-10 years that having a prom at y11 became a thing where I live.

PookieDo · 01/07/2019 15:03

DD’s is tonight
We did £40 dress but then it needed shit loads of alterations as she is so short even though it was petite
£20 shoes
£40 make up professionally done
I’m doing her hair but she’s upset as she doesn’t like it (I’m not that good at it)
£3 nails
£30 ticket
Taxi of mum

Inferiorbeing · 01/07/2019 15:04

I had a prom 5 years ago and it was a "big" one but it only cost £150, I think people who choose to spend stupid amounts of money are being a bit ridiculous. And yes social media wa as thing and I had one of the cheaper dresses but once people started dancing who even noticed!

FooFighter99 · 01/07/2019 15:08

When my DD leaves highschool (she's 7 now) she will have potentially spent 13 years with her fellow students (from being 3 in Nursery), so I think it's quite appropriate they get togther and celebrate all they will have achieved.

She will not be having £££'s spent on her though, as it gets ridiculous! A colleague of mine spent £500+ on her DD's prom dress and it subsequently got ruined (not to mention the money she spent on hair, nails, tan, limo etc)!

pigsDOfly · 01/07/2019 15:09

I remember shopping with my DD in, Fenwicks, I think it was, about 15 years ago and seeing all these prom dresses for sale.

Who the hell in their right mind is willing to spend eye watering amounts of £££ on a ridiculous flouncy dress - at the time they were flouncy, sort of Disney princess type things, that might have changed - for a teen to wear for one evening for what is basically their school disco?

Not much fun for the kids whose parents can't afford all this nonsense, I imagine.

probstimeforanewname · 01/07/2019 15:20

I am very glad we didn't have proms. I suspect I would have gone because of FOMO and then been mercilessly teased all night for not having the right sort of dress. I suppose if you are a Queen bee type and know you are pretty, have a lovely figure and look fab in your dress it is fine. For the rest of the girls, I bet the photos hide some very nasty bitching. And as a pp said, it's not great if your parents aren't comfortably off.

My ds didn't go to his and said it wasn't his scene.

user68901 · 01/07/2019 15:27

My daughter had hers last week. I just can’t imagine spending a week getting ready for a party 😫
Was definitely more stressful than the 25 exam papers she’s just sat!

wonkylegs · 01/07/2019 16:08

I'm 40 and had a leavers ball as they were called back then - sounds grander than it was - disco in school hall, crepe paper chains, disco ball , but we all dressed up in formal clothes. It wasn't stressful, it was a release after our GCSEs .
I think they have gone a bit over the top these days with expensive limos, venues and really expensive dresses but they aren't a new thing.

FudgeBrownie2019 · 01/07/2019 16:12

i left school twenty years ago and had a leavers ball which was pretty much exactly the same as a prom; dresses for the girls, suits for the boys, fancy cars delivering us to the location, photos with friends and Nanna's.

If parents/families can afford the stuff they're forking out for I don't see it as a problem; it's a lovely way to celebrate their hard work at school.

TurquoiseAndPurple · 01/07/2019 16:18

@reytmardy I left school 13 years ago and we had a prom!

nelsonmuntzslingshot · 01/07/2019 16:20

I’m 39 and we had prom in lower and upper sixth. They were absolutely brilliant nights but there was no pressure to have ££££ dresses (both of mine were from Monsoon, which was considered expensive back then) and we all got on a coach from school to the hotel.

HariboLectar · 01/07/2019 16:26

We had a leaver's "ball" at VIth form (18 years ago), at a nearby hotel for a meal and drinks. I don't really remember what we wore, I think it was just nice dresses and suits.

A coach picked us all up, then dropped us off at the end of the night.

We definitely didn't have anything when we left year 11.

feelingverylazytoday · 01/07/2019 16:26

They're a 'thing' now for the same reason that hen/stag nights have evolved into weekends (or longer) away, often abroard, people have gender reveal and baby showers, the christmas elf and christmas eve boxes are a thing.
There's just a lot more disposable cash floating around, and a lot of enterprising people who are only too ready to relieve people of some of that cash.
I could go on here - there are literally hundreds of things which people spend money on that didn't really use to exist - spa days, gel nails, spray tans, hair extensions, personal trainers, life coaches. School proms are just part and parcel of todays whole economic process.

Timeless19 · 01/07/2019 16:27

I'm 36 and we had leavers balls at 16 & 18 complete with evening wear, limos and professional photographers.

The only difference is that they call them proms nowadays.

legrandesmeaulnes2 · 01/07/2019 16:29

I’m 47 . Leavers disco at 16 , summer ball at 18. Most of my friends all had similar who were not at my school .

jennymanara · 01/07/2019 16:33

@feelingverylazytoday Yes I agree people do have more money today, so these things become a thing.
When I was at secondary clothes were expensive and people had far fewer than today. Most people where I lived could not afford to buy a suit or fancy dress for their child so things had to be more low key.

Kaykay06 · 01/07/2019 16:37

I have 4 boys
Eldest two are teens, eldest had a leavers dance in primary 7. Some people did the limo thing and really spent a lot. Ds1 wanted to wear a kilt so used his step dads police discount so cost us £30 and £15 tickets and kids and us had an amazing time. Same son just left school, he’s been to 2 Christmas balls - same suit albeit a wee bit tight second time. Then end of year prom a couple of weeks ago spent £77 on kilt and £40 on ticket. Girlfriend had a stunning dress - £600 worth but they were lovely together (just glad I have boys really)

Second son leaving primary (diff school) village school, kids do a bbq and dance and it’s very causal parents go too and it’s fab my son had a great time. Seems such a long time ago now. I just bought myself a ticket, kids were free. There was a bar so had a drink and bought my son a few cokes.

I think whatever name you give it as long as you’re sensible with what you can afford then doesn’t really matter if it’s a leavers dance/disco/prom diff name same thing.

We had a leavers bbq/picnic on the beach for p7 and s6 leavers was a meal/disco in the local hotel 29/22 years ago

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