To be irritated by this?

[woodlock75]

DS is in reception, he's my eldest so not had much experience of teachers/school etiquette prior to him starting school back in September.

His teacher always does a little news letter at the end of the week detailing what the class have learnt this week, achievements, reminders etc etc. On Friday, the newsletter included the usual but had a note at the end saying:

'If you're planning on buying me a gift for the end of term, I would prefer white wine over red and I'm not a massive fan of dark chocolate. Thanks in advance!'

DH and I were a bit gobsmacked and think it's really rude?!?! Is this normal for teachers to do?? Other parents thought it was odd too. I was planning on getting her a gift anyway but now I feel a bit irritated by the newsletter addition and don't want to.

Someone usually suggests a class collection at our school, for each class, teacher and TA. The suggestion was £10 donation, some people give more. The teacher got £150 of gift vouchers last year and same for the TA. This year most are donating £15 though I’ve donated £10 and that’s to cover gift and card for teacher and TA. I think £300 is a huge amount to gift but everyone else seems fine with it.

30 kids in each class, 4 classes in each year

@Paddingtonthebear bloody hell £300 is a lot!

I know, and I expect others give more than £10. Wealthy area though. I imagine the teachers find it a bit overwhelming

If you genuinely believe £300 is too much (I don't) why not splitting the sum in 2, and give half in vouchers to the teacher as a personal gift, and half for the class - for the teacher to buy whatever supplies they would find useful?

My kids classes have amazon wish lists.

I've ordered her some nice coffee and a Costa gift card because she always has a cup of coffee in her hand when I see her. No red wine or dark chocolate in sight

I think it's useful info but she should have worded it differently like:

"I don't expect presents from parents at the end of term so please don't feel that you have to buy anything at all; teaching your wonderful children is gift enough LOL. However some parents are determined to get me something and have asked for my preferences..."

If you genuinely believe £300 is too much (I don't) why not splitting the sum in 2, and give half in vouchers to the teacher as a personal gift, and half for the class - for the teacher to buy whatever supplies they would find useful?

That’s sort of what happens in DS’s old school. They tend to give a nice wine that the teacher likes, something else they like - chocolate/biscuits/cream tea voucher/spa treatment voucher and then there tends to be glue sticks or pencils or notebooks or whatever is needed.

Teachers get gifts. It isn't presumptuous and she said "if" not "when you buy me a gift"

I read on here once about teachers putting 'Pinot Grigio' and 'Sauvignon Blanc' on the spelling lists at the end of term. If I was in primary I would so be doing that.

I read on here once about teachers putting 'Pinot Grigio' and 'Sauvignon Blanc' on the spelling lists at the end of term. If I was in primary I would so be doing that.

Excellent. Prep for future life. I shall put this on all spelling lists above Year 3.

We have 4 Chardonnays all with different spellings. If you are going to name your child after a variety of grape and can't be prepared to pop to Tesco to read a label then you may recall how to spell them from that KS2 spelling test.

If you're planning on buying me a gift
I don't think she is being rude.

The reason that the head is likely to be unhappy is that a) she put it in writing b) she worded it badly c) just as on here, some parents might be alright with it, some raise an eyebrow, and some be very pissed off. Heads don't need pissed off parents at this point of the year.
I know that none of the heads I've worked for would be impressed if they saw that newsletter.

She could have said 'Some parents have asked me what I would like term gifts. That's really kind, and of course I don't expect gifts (though I have some cards and pictures from children, that I treasure) but if you absolutely want to - well I love white wine and chocolate!'

'...like for end of term gifts'

It's SO rude. I get why it's practical but it screams of entitlement

It really doesn’t. She said IF. Is it unreasonable to predict you will get gifts, given it seems to be the thing that people do regularly. If you’ve been a teacher for 10 years and get gifts every year, fair to assume it will happen this year.

If every year at Christmas you got a whole bunch of gifts and one year you got absolutely none at all, would you be surprised? Upset? Confused? Is it entitlement to assume the same thing will happen every year if it has happened years before?

She didn’t ask for a fucking iPad, just that IF people wanted to buy gifts, here’s what she liked. Just like wish lists for Christmas, or weddings, or engagements. Better that than people wasting their money on stuff she doesn’t like.

some be very pissed off.

Some people find a reason to be pissed off no matter what you do.

I'd love that- no idea what to get DD's teacher and DD will be desperate to give her something!

Bad manners. If the teacher gets 10 bottles of wine she doesn’t like then too bad, put up, shut up and graciously thank the person who has been kind enough to give a gift. I hate this habit of telling people what you expect of their generosity. I think you can let it be known you don’t want gifts but clearly this teacher does want gifts, as long as they’re of the right standard

So wedding gift lists are a no no but a teacher saying what they prefer is ok.

I would get her a silver photo frame

I think it was a good message, but I stick to m&s vouchers then they can get them selves some nice treats / food etc

Since i read this post i asked my child's teacher what she would prefer red/white wine and she replied that she doesn't drink alcohol nor tea/coffee. Only fruit tea! I'm so glad that I asked now. I'd rather she enjoy some fruit tea and cup cakes rather than giving away a bottle of wine.

Gosh, that's grabby. Also, I thought the form for gifts you don't like was to send a nice thank you note and quietly regift them. She wouldn't be getting anything from me.

We just all get together in the staff room after the kids have gone home for the day and do a bit of swapping amongst ourselves. The drinkers give their chocolate to the non drinkers and they give their wine to us. If you prefer white to red, someone will swap with you.

*MidniteScribbler

We just all get together in the staff room after the kids have gone home for the day and do a bit of swapping amongst ourselves. The drinkers give their chocolate to the non drinkers and they give their wine to us. If you prefer white to red, someone will swap with you.*

Same, and if we get a communal present, like a hamper, we break it up into piles and make it into a raffle.

I wouldn't dream of hurting parents feelings. I think that's so grabby and selfish. Parents who can ill afford it buy presents, often for multiple teachers, it's so rude and ungrateful to make them think they've somehow got it wrong.

I really disagree with what that teacher did.