To be irritated by this?

[woodlock75]

DS is in reception, he's my eldest so not had much experience of teachers/school etiquette prior to him starting school back in September.

His teacher always does a little news letter at the end of the week detailing what the class have learnt this week, achievements, reminders etc etc. On Friday, the newsletter included the usual but had a note at the end saying:

'If you're planning on buying me a gift for the end of term, I would prefer white wine over red and I'm not a massive fan of dark chocolate. Thanks in advance!'

DH and I were a bit gobsmacked and think it's really rude?!?! Is this normal for teachers to do?? Other parents thought it was odd too. I was planning on getting her a gift anyway but now I feel a bit irritated by the newsletter addition and don't want to.

My cousin is a teacher at a primary school in a tiny rural village. Some families are extremely well off, and some are living below the poverty line.
She told me that rather than parents buying 'presents', she'd much rather they donated anonymously to a local good cause or foodbank. lf they wanted to thank her personally, a card made by the child would be more than acceptable.
That way the families who are already struggling financially aren't put under any pressure, and don't feel embarrassed when they can't send their child to school with a present.
As she said, if she wants wine or chocolate, she'll buy what she likes. Parents shouldn't feel obliged or pressured into buying anything.

I think it's rude and presumptuous.

Its educated presumptuousness though :p

@EerieSilence

binge drinking teachers who are so rich they can afford their own garden.

I would love to have that sort of guidance from a teacher!

Personally I wouldn't do it as I'd be worried people would think it was rude however it's a fact that most the kids will bring in a gift and I'd rather my child's teacher just said what they liked and then I'd know what to aim at.
I get endless bottles of wine, I don't drink and loads of skin type bits and I have a skin condition and can only use a medicated ones so I leave it in the staff room for others to take but I'm sure my parents would prefer knowing so they could get me something I would actually use.

I'm not a teacher and dd1 has not staryed school yet, but going by some of the teacher thank you gifts available on my local facebook selling page that note is not nearly explicit enough!

Don't waste your cash on a personalised/painted/bejazzled massive gin glass

I mis-read that as vajazzled .

I don't think it is the expectation of a gift but a knowledge that people will buy her gifts and unless she says something, a whole bunch of those girls will end up being given away by her. What would be better? Her receiving a dozen bottles of red wine and saying thank you and then giving them all away and feeling a bit sad that she couldn't enjoy her gifts or her being pragmatic and just letting people know in advance?

Buy her a mug with Best teacher on it. It will be her eleventy billion one !

I think this is fine. I'd be glad to know what to buy tbh. Surprised by the number of "well she'd be getting nothing from me for that note" type comments - really?

‘I think it's the expectation of the gifts that annoyed me’

Sounds to me like she’s probably had many years of receiving things she doesn’t like and has had to gift them away to elsewhere and it’s not like she’s saying you have to buy her a gift or only gift her white wine and milk chocolate.

let's not be hypocritical, teachers will receive gifts
Exactly!
I really don’t understand why people feel the teacher is BU here. Is she supposed to pretend she doesn’t know she is getting presents even though she knows, and parents know she knows?? Why play games???

The thing is so much stuff ends up in charity shops, mugs, keyrings etc and after so long I bet she’s fed up of receiving tat and thought to suggest stuff she actually likes and won’t add to landfill etc

I think she’s just gone about it awkwardly, but I don’t actually see the harm in it.

One of the few things I enjoyed about DS’s old school was the openness about gifts. Both teachers gifts and gifts between kids at parties.

One of the mums started a birthday piggy bank at her DDs party and said to Anyone who asked ‘what should I buy’ to put £1 or £2 in the pig as that’s what the extended family were doing as her DD wanted to buy a new scooter (she was getting something else from her parents). It has quickly taken off, especially as class parties are a big thing round here.

That lead to a conversation about teachers presents and now most classes most kids l chip in £2 each and the organiser buys something from them all. It’s also lead to chats with the teachers so it’s known if they like red wine or white wine etc.

I’d much rather give a gift someone likes. Same with weddings. I know I’m giving a gift. They know I’m giving a gift. I see no drama in it being known that they’d like cash or something from a gift list.

Gosh, as a former teacher I would never have done that. It comes across as very rude and presumptuous. I actually cringed when I read the OP. So what if you get a few similar gifts? They were given out of kindness, you thank the child (and parent if they haven’t left the classroom yet) and accept it graciously. Anything you won’t use/eat/drink, you can pass on to a friend or something, surely?

Exactly!
I really don’t understand why people feel the teacher is BU here. Is she supposed to pretend she doesn’t know she is getting presents even though she knows, and parents know she knows?? Why play games???

Yep, people are so odd and easily offended

Big wave to The Daily Mail.

I’m a teacher and there’s no way I’d write something like that 🙈

I think it's the expectation of the gifts that annoyed me.

Her expectation will be based on experience though- every year she’ll have received quite a lot of gifts. So YABU to be irritated by her expecting gifts.

😂

I admire the cheek of it.

I am a teacher and I think the way it was worded is incredibly rude.

Is the teacher Sharon from Catastrophe?

Very rude.
I would have thought giving a gift of alcohol would be a complete NO NO!

Gift of alcohol certainly not a no no!