To be irritated by this?

[woodlock75]

DS is in reception, he's my eldest so not had much experience of teachers/school etiquette prior to him starting school back in September.

His teacher always does a little news letter at the end of the week detailing what the class have learnt this week, achievements, reminders etc etc. On Friday, the newsletter included the usual but had a note at the end saying:

'If you're planning on buying me a gift for the end of term, I would prefer white wine over red and I'm not a massive fan of dark chocolate. Thanks in advance!'

DH and I were a bit gobsmacked and think it's really rude?!?! Is this normal for teachers to do?? Other parents thought it was odd too. I was planning on getting her a gift anyway but now I feel a bit irritated by the newsletter addition and don't want to.

@HollowTalk - knowing Mumsnet and some Mums who were born with a stick up their butts already there, the next day you'd have posts about binge drinking teachers who are so rich they can afford their own garden.

It is useful to know what she doesn't like I suppose, just seemed a bit cheeky to me!

I think she could have done it in a much more emotionally astute way - 'It's been a good week for the class as a whole, and I think we have all earned a little treat this weekend - I know I'm looking forward to a nice glass of chilled white when I get home!'

Or maybe just graciously accept what she's given - and the sentiment behind the gift.

I don't think it's rude. Do you want to buy her chocolates or wine that she won't drink or like? I thought the whole point was to get a gift they would want it appreciate, seems stupid otherwise to bother.

@BestestBrownies that thread is golden I'm howling

Not OK. I'd get her nothing as a direct result.

I think it's fair enough. She did start by saying "If you're planning on buying me a gift..." so that doesn't smack of presumption to me. Obviously she is aware that many parents are planning to do exactly that (you, for one!) and if the gift is meant to say "thank you for your hard work" rather than "look how thoughtful and generous I am", surely you'd want it to be something she actually enjoys? Add in that there are probably thirty kids in the class so thirty potential unwanted presents, I think it's perfectly sensible.

I would appreciate the information!

I’d be greatful. It makes present buying easier and not a waste if money.

think it's really rude?!?! Is this normal for teachers to do?

Have you SEEN some of the utter tat teachers are given though?
It's an insult to landfill and a complete waste of money and resources because it will be in the bin faster than you can say "school's out!"

By all means have your child do a homemade A4 paper "Thank you Miss Jones" card with their best drawing on the front; but don't waste your cash on a personalised/painted/bejazzled massive gin glass/water canteen/light up fairy house or whatever.

You may think its nice and thoughtful but multiple it by 30 kids, by however many years the teacher has worked and that is a lot of useless stuff. Buy something they actually want/like or don't buy anything. Easy.

Really rude and I’d be getting her nothing.

In view of all the threads asking for ideas for teachers presents, I think it's a very good idea.

She's not saying you have to get her something, it it's pointless spending your money on something she doesn't like!

I would love it, if my children's teachers listed what they like. I genuinely have no idea and would feel upset if they gave my gifts away because they hate it! She's not asking for presents. She just explaining what she does like, in case you were thinking of buying her a gift. I'd rather she enjoyed my £5 gift rather than not!

Does EVERYONE give teachers gifts now? My child is only 2 and starting nursery in September so not clued up on this.

I left primary school in 2005 and I can't remember teachers getting gifts. The odd card maybe.

I do think it's quite rude of the teacher.

BestestBrownies Thank you for the link, that is hilarious

Thinking back to the wine and vouchers I have given ds's various teachers, I am retrospectively most disappointed with my dull dearth of imagination. Ds's class is Westwood this year, after Vivienne, any suggestions?!

I used to be a primary school teacher and I think this is rude! I would always thank the child, write a thank you note and anything I couldn’t use would go to food bank/friends/charity shop.

I was glad that my DDs teacher told us that she only drank red wine. I found out that the bus driver (SEN) drank any larger.

Not rude at all. Better than a liad of crap going to landfill.

I gave Vouchers for Asda, as well.

I think it’s both a bit rude and presumptuous, but also good. Think how many mugs teachers get at the end of the year.

I’m getting costa vouchers this year.

For some reason that has really made me laugh. It is rude but saves waste and worrying what to get. I'm not sure what to think.

I think there's fault on both sides here. Parents shouldn't be giving gifts to teachers. If they insist on doing so, it seems fair enough for the teacher to try to help them avoid buying things she doesn't want. Personally, I'd have started the note by saying that gifts are not expected, children/parents might want to make donations to charity instead but if they really want to give something then... I find the whole middle-class oneupmanship of gift-giving pretty nauseating, though, and was very glad when my children got out of primary school and didn't feel obliged to play the game any more.

I sometimes receive gifts from students in my (university) tutorial group. If these are general non-perishable things (booze, chocolate) rather than things that are personal to me (printed mugs, etc.) I usually donate them as raffle prizes, so it doesn't make any difference whether they're things I like. I would much rather they didn't buy anything, as it's pretty clear they are already paying for me to teach them.

Rude.
She could just bung the red wine in a casserole or risotto and give the chocolate to the food bank/put them in the staff room.

I think it's cheeky. I'd probably pretend not to have read it... and buy her red wine... or nothing

I think it's a good idea worded badly

Nah that's fine - she will be getting gifts from some. Might not have been phrased well but much better than getting copious amounts of I prefer white but always buy others red as in my head it's classier. Also means do not need to buy or make teacher tat. Win-win.