AIBU - What age is it not ok to fly alone? Should DH take MIL or not?

[exoticcats]

What age would people say that an older person would need to be accompanied on a plane please. I’m asking for to MIL and we have this situation a lot.

I don’t mean to sound selfish, but DH is faffing and being non-committal about us booking a family holiday on the grounds that he has announced he will probably be in the Middle East for most of the summer due to work (but no definite dates as yet). Now, the week he does appear to have free is when MIL wants to go and see her other son in New York. Usually DH will take her in the plane, maybe stay overnight and then return and BIL will bring her back later and do the same.. MIL is now 71, no health complaints. AIBU to say to DH that he could maybe consider just taking her to the airport and checking her in etc? What do other people do in this situation?

Thankyou. Yes I might try and suggest this.

My dgf flew all over the place incl long haul aged 75+ On his own

I agree with booking assistance. My late DF used to do that when he visited my DBs’ and was very happy to have someone to help him. He did have mobility issues mainly but the practical support was a comfort too. He flew until his early 80s.

I find airports very stressful and discombobulating but I do fly alone because I want to be able to see family. If your MIL is used to having someone with her then booking assistance is just the thing.

Can you and bil pay for flights for a friend to go with?
If you were paying a return flight for dh and then bil was paying for a return flight for him, then you'll half the price paying for a friend to go with her?

If she's fit enought to fly then she's fit enought to travel alone. It's possible to organise assistance at the airport if she's in need of it but as she's healthy I can't see why she needs it. Someone takes her to the airport maybe, stays while she ckecks her luggage in and she's through security.

My mother flew alone until she was 80.

You could book her assistance where dh can take her to the desk and then they take her to the gate and collect her the other side again. Many elderly people seem to do this to avoid the miles that you need to walk at airports.

FFS! My 78-year-old mother flies all over the world on her own. Get her special assistance and stop with teh babying or tell her to see a doctor and get something prescribed for anxiety.

Normally I don’t mind if he needs to take his mum somewhere and I would never interfere, but this morning DD found a holiday and she was showing it to us. DH said he couldn’t commit to any dates over the summer, but he suggested I should just book something for all of us and he’ll make it if he can for as long as possible and Europe would be easier. But then half an hour later, he’s making arrangements with his mum. He thinks she can’t go alone and I accept that because she does get anxious, but I just wondered if this was normal.

My grandma has just flown solo, she's 84.

Don't you love the sympathy and understanding that some mumsnetters have for those who suffer from anxiety?

I'm guessing that none of these globe-trotting pensioners have anxiety....

Why the hell are you pandering to this manipulation? She doesn't need accompanying fgs!

Maybe put the extra money saving a plane seat fare to upgrading her to first class? Might make her look forward to it?

I'd say in your situation it has nothing to do with her age and everything to do with her anxiety disorder.

She clearly could fly alone. Whether she will is a different question.

yanbu

If she has anxiety she should take medication for it or seek other therapeutical help such as hypnotherapy or CBT.

Unreasonable to expect DH to accompany her on such a long and expensive trip when that means he won't get to spend holiday with his DC.

However - DH appears to prefer this option OP.....

DF is 74. Regularly flies. Usually 3 x long houl trips a year and would be highly insulted if we suggested he needed help

This has nothing to do with her age.

She is being indulged.

My friend, in her 90s, registered blind, limited mobility and with a colostomy bag books and flies off her own bat.

**haul even ffs!

My mum is in her late 80’s and travels the world on her own. She’s just about to take a 24 hour 2 x flight from the UK to Australia.

Stop pandering to her. If she has anxiety she’s an adult and needs to deal with it.

Just had my PIL staying this weekend and my MIL can’t do anything for herself. Not because she’s incapable but because she’s been pandered to over many years and now the habit is ingrained.

Break the cycle before it gets even worse.

Gosh, I thought this would be about a 5YO flying as an unaccompanied minor, not a healthy adult women in her 70s. My ILs are in their late 70s and we wouldn’t entertain doing this.

I get that she might be anxious but I wouldn’t cancel plans for a family holiday because she’s going to visit her other son. I’d say either she needs to fly solo (upgrade to first class and book special assistance at the airport), BIL needs to fly with her both ways, you all go to NY and have the family holiday there or get a connecting flight to elsewhere in the US, or she needs to find another week to visit BIL as it doesn’t work for you.

It's not normal for an adult to need to be accompanied on a plane, of course it isn't. If she is debilitated by anxiety now, presumably she always has been, so was accompanied when 61, 51, 41, 31 and 21 too.

Huh?? Who pays for this?

My mother kept on flying until she was 85 before deciding to stop travelling. 71 is no age to be flying solo if she is fit and healthy.

Don’t book special assistance for her to be taken in a wheelchair. I’m disabled. There have been rumours about crack downs and abuse of the system. An able bodied woman, who has flown before doesn’t need this.

Your dh can take her to the airport, queue with her and say goodbye after checking in. He should be talking to her, reassuring her, not use a service she doesn’t need. She’s 71. Not 101.