Should I complain about my grocery delivery?

[Sultanainasalad]

I had my groceries delivered this morning. The driver (1st time this driver delivered to me) brought it into the kitchen for me. We were chatting about having young kids and how hard it is.

He was friendly and was chatting longer than usual, maybe 10 mins. By the end I was trying to get a natural break in the conversation to move him along. I sensed he was getting a bit flirty, even though I was in shattered Sunday morning mode.

I found the flirty bit annoying as I don't want weird men in my house, I just wanted my groceries but then an hour later he whatsapped me, saying 'it was nice to talk to you this morning' (I'm not going to reply to the creep).

AIBU to be annoyed by that and want to complain about it?

Am I also AIBU to be wary of complaining as he knows my address and phone number?

If that happened to me I would just ignore the WhatsApp and hope he gets message I'm not interested. I'd only report if after ignoring the WhatsApp he then has another go at it.

Thanks for your thoughts. Would you ignore because it's not a big deal or because you would be wary of doing so?

I'd just ignore it and if sends anything again then complain. Embarrassing on his part not urs!

Where did he get your number from? I'm assuming from your delivery details? I would definitely complain then, that crosses a line and I wouldn't like to think that delivery drivers can just take note of my details for their personal use. Surely that must be a breach of their contract or something?

I’m usually a pretty relaxed person but I would be very concerned and would report that. Not because I think he’s definitely going to do something awful, but I would imagine that is a huge breach of confidentiality and in breach of his employment terms. The only reason he had access to your personal mobile number is because you placed an order with his employer, and he needs access to it to do his job (eg to ring you if he’s running late or lost). He will absolutely not be permitted to then take that number down for personal use, which is what this is.

I work in an organisation that is public facing and we have dismissed people for this, it is gross misconduct and misuse of customer data.

I'd complain.

Using your personal information for his personal use will be absolutely against the data protection rules of his employers. Get in touch with them now.

Contacting you like this was wrong. He has overstepped the mark. The company he works for won't be at all happy about it. Yes, I would complain. I'd ask them to make sure he doesn't deliver to my house again and then I'd block him on WhatsApp.

Some years ago, a gas engineer attended my house to fit a heater. He was similarly over-chatty and I had to be quite robust in seeing him out of the door. That, I thought, was that. The following evening, I returned home from work and ten minutes later, he knocked at the door asking if he had left behind some tool or other. I said no and closed the door. After an anxious half an hour, and feeling a bit jumpy, I decided to go to a friend's for coffee. On leaving my house, he was parked across the road, watching my front door. I rang his company and complained and they put a complete stop to it.

The delivery driver in your case might not be as persistent as that but you can never tell. And you never know whether he has done or will do this to other women.

It’s also unnerving given he obviously knows where you live - I’m not for one second suggesting you start to panic, I’m not an alarmist type, but I honestly wouldn’t trust his judgement and would be seeking some sort of reassurance (from the company, and on a personal level eg telling a friend/relative).

Hopefully he’s been very misguided in an attempt to flirt, but, he will absolutely know the rules of his company, he will know he’s been very risky in doing that, and I couldn’t trust someone like that to therefore not be annoyed or try to place the blame with you.

100% complain. Complete breach of confidentiality and totally inappropriate. I wouldn’t care what the consequences are; blokes like him prey on our “soft side” and the fact that we are conditioned to not make a fuss or think we’ve misread the situation.

I think his employers would take a dim view of him taking your personal details for other than ‘business use’ and especially if he had then transferred those details to his own personal phone .
And if he had used a works phone then he probably shouldn’t have used it for personal use.
What if he delivers your shopping again?
Our Tesco delivery man says he has barely 3 mins to do each delivery so surprised yours had time for a chat!

Oh and yes,I’d complain

Ignore the message.

I'd never have a delivery person only home, I always bring shopping in from door myself (is that possible for you?)

It is weird and he has misread the situation, but I wouldn't want to get him into trouble at work.

If he messages again, after being ignored....then I would consider either threatening to contact his employer or actually contacting his employer.

Using your number for a personal message is completely inappropriate.

Jesus singing that would terrify me! To those saying they would complain, that's how I feel, he has totally overstepped the line. The company have my number for grocery deliveries, not personal contact. I am annoyed that be has made me feel uncomfortable.

I will now use a different supermarket but I really want them to be aware of what he's doing and is probably doing to other women. But am still a bit frightened to do so.

No I would complain, that's totally out of order if he has used your contact details to continue chatting you up?! I have access to private numbers at work and would be in a lot of trouble if I used them to approach people for anything other than work-based issues! Unless you gave him your number when chatting? In which case just ignore and hope he gets the message.

Ugh - this happened to me with the local Hermes guy. He came back and slipped a note through my door with his number and a flirty message. He was the only Hermes guy for our area so I basically didn't order anything for months afterwards to avoid him.

If you do complain, make sure you request he no longer do your deliveries.

Creep. It

I would complain about the WhatsApp message, totally inappropriate and the company should take it seriously.

Posted too soon.

It happened to me years ago with an electrician my landlord sent out. He was flirtatious and text me afterwards to ask me out on a date . I reported to my LL. I was a single Mum at the time so home alone and kinda vulnerable, I found it so creepy and strange.

But am still a bit frightened to do so.

And I completely understand that, Sultanainasalad. What happened to you would unnerve anyone. However, we are talking about someone who (a) knows the rules of his employment and (b) is willing to break the rules anyway. A risk taker is a risk taker is a risk taker.

You really have to knock this on the head, for your own peace of mind.

Definitely report! I would be too nervous to use that delivery service again, too, which is a shame.

You need to report him - men like this rely on women giving chances and benefit of the doubt, and fear. It needs stamping on fast.

I would report - flirting is one thing, but taking your personal details and using them to try and get you to strike up a personal relationship is completely inappropriate.

It is weird and he has misread the situation, but I wouldn't want to get him into trouble at work.

Why not?! He has done something that he will no doubt have been told explicitly not to do, used the OP's personal data to intrude into her life (she could easily have given him her number if she had wanted him to have it) and his behaviour is inappropriate and needs to be stopped before he starts crossing more lines.

Please report him. He’s a creepy man who shouldn’t be doing that job.