AIBU to think the question, "would you like me to take my shoes off?" is rude?

[Underhiseye2]

Just that really. An estate agent came to value my house today. The first thing he did was introduce himself and we shook hands. The second thing, he stepped inside and looked around and asked "shall I take my shoes off?".

I would never dream of not taking my shoes off on entering someone's house, except maybe my MILs because she is a filthy mare, it's automatic.

Is this question code for, "I think your house is dirty"? Straight up, I am not the house proud lady that my own mother was, but man, this place is clean and tidy. We are part hard-wood floor and part carpet (which could be seen from where estate agent was standing).

I hope you don’t expect someone delivering heavy objects to take their shoes off. It’s a safety reason for them to keep them on.. and when you carry heavy you need grip so those blue socket things aren’t going to cut it.

If you have floors that can't handle normal shoes, I wonder how you'll deal with your kids when they get a bout of D&V. Why would anyone have carpets with kids (or adults for that matter), I'll never know.

At least carpets in bathrooms and toilets seem to have gone a bit out of fashion.

YABU.

I personally take my shoes off in the hallway and so do a lot of my friends.

OP - In my porch are no less than 12 pairs of shoes of varying sizes, men’s, women’s, kids, so it’s pretty obvs we are a shoe off house
Massive drip feed there.

I used to have a job that entailed visiting clients who had usually just moved in or had renovations in progress /just finished.
I always carried a pair of indoor ballet flats with me as they frequently had just had new flooring installed. Before I went in I would always ask if they would like me to remove my shoes.
Didn't realise I was being rude

I hate to tell you this OP but I'm a microbiologist by training who specialised in the built environment, and I can tell you that your entire house, despite your obviously superior standards, is almost entirely covered in particles of faeces and shoes will barely affect its composition.

I'm still baffled

how is it rude to ask?

I once refused to look round a house where I was 'invited' to take my shoes off by the estate agent on behalf of the owner . I had on sandals and no socks and felt uncomfortable walking bare foot in their floors which were carpeted . It just felt a bit yuk .
We're a shoes on house unless people want to take them off . We never say either way and most people keep them on. In fact I don't know anyone who was a shoes off house.
We've got cat and dog though so a bit unfazed by shoes if you've got muddy paws to deal with .

It's very polite- not everyone takes shoes off

We have a deep pile light cream carpet in our lounge and I always prefer people to take off their shoes. Most people stand at the doorway, see the colour of the carpet and then ask if they should take shoes off. We have overshoes for those who prefer to wear them.

I do home visits for work and hate having to take my shoes off. I find it really odd that people insist. I don't want to feel vulnerable or exposed with my feet out.

This thread demonstrates what a controversial issue this is and therefore why it is both polite and sensible to ask the question!

We mix it up with a ‘no shoes upstairs’ rule (wooden floors and dog downstairs, carpets and no dog upstairs). My FIL keeps his shoes on everywhere and invariably - every time he visits - treads mud into the stair carpet. Drives me nuts.

This one always amuses me. People who take their shoes off always at home seem to assume that everyone in the country does the same, which isn't at all true. I was not brought up to remove shoes at home, nor was my DH. Obviously I've come across it in some homes, more so as an adult. But I saw a post about this on an international group on Facebook last week and there were several comments like 'in England, everyone removes their shoes when entering a home' which is utter bull. I come across it rarely.

No, he wasn't rude, you're taking this entirely the wrong way.

Many people these days are asked to remove their shoes so that they don't tread dirt onto carpets, etc.
I've a fussy friend who asks visitors to take remove their shoes - entirely unreasonable as you should see the state of her horrible skanky carpets. I now take my slippers there.

I tell her to leave them on when she visits me but she insists on taking them off - unnecessary unless you've walked through a ploughed field or worse. I just suck it up.

You’re on a wind up

Find something better to do with your time, I’m going to do likewise

He was most likely just checking your preference as not everyone minds shoes indoors. I doubt anything was meant by it.

Yabvvvvu

This discussion seems to come up every week on MN. Let me summarize the rules:

If you're upper class you leave shoes on.

If working class you take them off.

If middle class you follow the rules of whichever of the aforementioned classes you identify with/aspire to.

I'm still baffled

how is it rude to ask?

See my post above.

It might be taken that one is implying that the home owner is a lower class of person than the visitor.

I actually find it rude to expect professional people to take off their shoes when they come to your house.
Most of our friends and family do, probably due to comfort and the like, and we don't generally have shoes on upstairs but if it happens it happens.
But an estate agent, or a teacher for a home visit or IDK a midwife, I would tell them to keep their shoes on. Unless I had very expensive wood floor that was prone to damage and they wore stilettos.

No it’s not rude - I always tell people to keep their shoes on - we don’t have carpets downstairs and it’s not comfy to walk on barefoot.

YABVU
And this comment In my porch are no less than 12 pairs of shoes of varying sizes, men’s, women’s, kids, so it’s pretty obvs we are a shoe off house. makes no sense.

We are a shoes on house and I too have lots of shoes in my porch!

OP, I don't understand your point - you seem to think his asking is implying that your house is dirty? Isn't it the opposite, like 'i don't want to dirty your lovely house with my shoes?' It seems like a totally polite question to me.

If I thought I was stepping into a filthy hovel I'd want to keep my shoes ON!

When I read these threads I wonder what happens when the shoes off brigade have a toddler with gastro. Do their heads explode as the vomit and diarrhoea hits the floor (nappies and gastro are not a complete fix in my experience)?

We are shoes off but pretty much in all aspects here. Hot climate. So barefoot in the house but also barefoot in the garden etc so walk with garden feet through the house. We mainly wear thongs when out and about except actually at work although people do for some jobs. If you are walking in dirty area with thongs the dirt gets blown up and your feet get dirty. Kick the things off at the door and you walk in with dirty feet.

No one has ever died from this. No kid crawling around has gotten sick from the floors. For goodness sake little explorers get their hands on snails and dog poop in the garden and straight in their mouths. Gross but never hurt anyone. Nor does a floor with some dirt on it here and there. As mind blowing as it would seem to some, there are cultures that live in huts with dirt floors. They manage just fine without everyone dropping dead.

Loads of households allow shoes indoors, most I've been to actually, so I would ask, because they might want me to take them off but they also might not give a shit. Why would I take them off if they don't mind shoes indoors?

if you're upper class you leave shoes on.

If working class you take them off.

Wtf how? That's bullshit.