AIBU to think the question, "would you like me to take my shoes off?" is rude?

[Underhiseye2]

Just that really. An estate agent came to value my house today. The first thing he did was introduce himself and we shook hands. The second thing, he stepped inside and looked around and asked "shall I take my shoes off?".

I would never dream of not taking my shoes off on entering someone's house, except maybe my MILs because she is a filthy mare, it's automatic.

Is this question code for, "I think your house is dirty"? Straight up, I am not the house proud lady that my own mother was, but man, this place is clean and tidy. We are part hard-wood floor and part carpet (which could be seen from where estate agent was standing).

Basically, on this issue, I think the onus is on the households to say politely “Would you mind taking your shoes off?” rather than on the guest trying to guess the household norm.

That is really rude.

It's not rude to ask someone to take their shoes off in your house, particularly if you have light carpets and they have dirty shoes.

I would only take my shoes off in someone else’s house if I saw them buy the door and even then I would ask.

It doesn’t make you more house proud it’s just personal preference. I just wipe my feet in my own house then hoover regularly.

How is that rude?

Poor man, is he supposed to read your mind and know whether you're a shoes on or off household. Rather than being rude, he was actually being polite by asking what you prefer.

I very much doubt he had even had a chance to sum up what short of condition your house was in if he'd just stepped through the door.

I've always been a shoes off kind of person and I always appreciate people asking.

Having once had a, one time, friend walk dog shit from my front door through to my dining room at the other side of my carpeted house I'm very wary of shoes being worn in my house.

How ridiculous. Some people really will find fault in the most trivial things

*if you're upper class you leave shoes on.

If working class you take them off.*

In my house the floors leave a lot to be desired, it's probably safer to keep your shoes on!

if you're upper class you leave shoes on.
If working class you take them off

I am working class, and no one takes their shoes off.

*if you're upper class you leave shoes on.

If working class you take them off.*

For pity's sake. It's nothing to do with that. There are many reasons. People with large dogs tend to keep them on, people with light coloured carpets tend to take them off, people with germ phobias take them off. I switched to no shoes inside when dc started to crawl because I wanted the floor cleaner. It's nothing to do with this 'class' nonsense.

I’m not fussed about shoes off in my house but I do really hate it if I’m in someone else’s house and they ask me to take mine off and I don’t have socks on, which is quite often. Obviously I do it but I feel very uncomfortable.

Does nobody have door mats anymore?

Hate taking off my shoes in other peoples house, I've never asked anyone in my house to do it and wouldnt unless asked to, I just clean my floors daily. Where I live (rural farming area) no ever asks you to and almost seem horrified if you offer. Sounds like he was trying to be polite.

“It’s not rude... particularly if you have light carpets”

Light carpets are the height of rudeness.

Yes it's definitely a class thing, leftover from the days when upper classes had 'public' and 'private' rooms.

You would not arrive to Lady Muckington's afternoon tea party and be asked to remove your shoes. On the other hand, Lady M wouldn't care because the tea party would be held in a public room that one wouldn't enter without being fully dressed.

No it's not rude, when i get an engineer or a service guy coming to the house they put shoe cover's on because it's there company's policy, your over reacting

Filthy mare with (immaculate) cream carpet throughout reporting for duty. Nobody takes their shoes off here and if they try it I tell them to stop.

He was the opposite of rude. Op you’re being completely unreasonable

To be honest if someone came into my house and automatically took off their shoes I would think it was weird. She was not saying your house was dirty or anything of the sort. But if she came into my house and took them off, I would tell her to put them back on!! I don't want to be looking at people's ugly feet.

Taking your shoes off shoes you feel 'at home'. It's a very informal thing to do. I wouldn't want anyone but family and very close friends taking off their shoes in my house!

Some people view automatically leaving shoes on as impolite - some view automatically removing them to be over-familiar.

Polite to ask.

YUBU.

Yabu and weird. He ASKED. Jesus.

@HopelessLayout please tell me you don't buy into those arbitrary rules...? It's total bullshit

We have tiles or hard wood on the whole ground floor. I don’t think it necessary to take shoes off when people come in my house. It’s easy enough to clean although most people don’t really have shoes that are that dirty

I never expect anyone to take their shoes off in my house.

YBVU and very judgemental towards those of us who don't care if visitors keep their shoes on. But if you're right, it's okay - I'd rather be a filthy mare than a judgemental cow.

Eh?! He was being courteous asking! I have laminate floor so I wouldn't make an estate agent take his shoes off. YABU

I hate having to take my shoes off when I visit somewhere and really dislike it when people take their shoes off before coming in to my house. I don't want their smelly bare feet or holey socks and tights on my floors, thanks, I'm fine with their shoes.

Taking a dump in the middle of the hall is rude. Offering to remove shoes is polite. Some people are demented.