AIBU to think the question, "would you like me to take my shoes off?" is rude?

[Underhiseye2]

Just that really. An estate agent came to value my house today. The first thing he did was introduce himself and we shook hands. The second thing, he stepped inside and looked around and asked "shall I take my shoes off?".

I would never dream of not taking my shoes off on entering someone's house, except maybe my MILs because she is a filthy mare, it's automatic.

Is this question code for, "I think your house is dirty"? Straight up, I am not the house proud lady that my own mother was, but man, this place is clean and tidy. We are part hard-wood floor and part carpet (which could be seen from where estate agent was standing).

Oneminuteandthenallgone you can tell someone’s class based on whether, or not, they take their shoes off? Or is it based on whether, or not, they ask if they should take their shoes off?

Whether you expect them to take them off (and whether you take your own off)

You would take them off in a home of someone who took their own shoes off and so expected guest to take them off as that is good manners.

I dislike it when people take their shoes off. We have polished parquet (renting, it was here when we moved in) and it's a slipping hazard to walk around in socks, especially little kids who have had their forcibly removed. Not to mention certain visiting tradesmen have had the stinkiest feet ever and insisted on taking their boots off, rendering me (not envy) in my own home.

The question was not rude, it was perfectly acceptable. YABU

Omfg are people really like this in real life? I can’t believe that you got annoyed at someone for asking you a perfectly normal question?!?

I would never ask anyone to take shoes off, although I do myself for comfort. Downstairs I have a mix of wood and hard flooring.

If I was going to get hot under the collar about something, let's start with supermarket trolleys. Left outside day and night with vermin, birds etc, shitting and peeing all over them. The of course there are the kids standing in the trolleys wearing their shoes. All this shit and germs is then transferred to your kitchen worktops and cupboards!

I choose just to get on with things and accept that I can not seal myself in a hygienic bubble (although I would like to do so)

You make people take their shoes off but let them keep their clothes on? Eww you dirty bit. Do you realise how many surfaces and people those clothes have touched? It all has to come off before anyone gets through my front door. Raise your standards, lady. Get naked or GTFO.

Oneminuteandthenallgone following the homeowners actions is common sense. I thought you were going to tell me how to spot the difference between working class and middle class shoe habits!

Living in a farm cottage with dogs and cats, it's generally a shoes on house except for manky muddy boots which get left in the front or back porches.

However, I hate shoes, having grown up in a hot climate where I only changed out of flip-flops into sandals for school. My slippers are on as soon as I get home if I'm in anything restrictive. I also have a pair of "indoor shoes" with soft soles that I take to some friend's houses so I can be comfortable without being bare footed or in socks. I am regularly outside in my normal, hard-soled slippers, or even bare feet and pyjamas at the gate this morning when the postie came.

I think it's extremely rude to take your shoes off without checking with your host if you really have to.

I don't want your stinky feet, thanks.

My downstairs floors get cleaned every day but I don't lick them, they don't need to be sterile. My friends and any visitor really seem to have enough manners not to put their shoes on my furniture. No one has ever put mud or dog poop anywhere so far either, why would anyone?

I think carpets are the dirtiest thing you can have in a house, they are a dust trap, can't be cleaned properly, make their owners stressed about stains, but if you want me to take my shoes off to walk on them, I will.
I don't have carpets, don't impose your feet on me.

Me too DaisyYellow, sadly I still have no clear class distinguisher for all these MN specific mores.

Was brought up to remove my shoes upon entering people's homes.

But back then everyone always had naice carpets, and no one really wants kids walking across their freshly cleaned kitchen tiles in outdoor shoes anyway, you know kids tread in everything.

I often ask people if it's OK for me to take off my shoes. Because it's a sensory thing for me and if I'm at home without guests. I won't even have socks on.

Our hall and main living space is all laminate, now, so it's not the end of the world if people don't remove shoes. But me, OH and the kids always do anyway.

We have hard floors downstairs and someone's office shoes on my wooden lounge floor wouldn't bother me. His dog walking boots in my bedroom would. My house is clean (and usually tidy)

I like to ask because 9/10 it’s my bare feet or my shoes
IME people can be equally grossed out by either

YABVU. It's just good manners. Not come across it before?

I've skipped 150 of 166 replies.

I normally read the entire thread before replying, so it's possible this will appear in the middle of some tangent direction, however-

IMO, this shoes on/off thing will become history. We will all automatically take them off at the door, in due course.

Certain'My home/my roolz' posters will fight back, but it's futile.

The EA recognised that we're, as a society, at a cross roads with this. If an EA asked me, I'd say, yes, thanks. As we don't wear outdoor shoes indoors.

The vast majority of tradesmen who have come into my house over the past 5 years have either offered to take shoes off or have just done so. If they're only going to walk through my laminate downstairs, especially if they going straight out the back, back into the outside, I go Nah, keep them on. If they're refitting my upstairs bathroom/carpets, shoes off.

not rude, in fact it is the opposite of rude, hes saying shall i remove my shoes and protect your expensive floor coverings or shall i walk shit thru your house

We're not bothered. I would always ask and it would have nothing to do with the state of the house we were coming in to.

We don’t take shoes off at the front door. It’s certainly not rude to clarify what the house rules are when arriving somewhere new.

But then I wouldn’t dream of calling anyone a ‘filthy mare’.

We all have our own standards on things I suppose.

Just catching up now. A couple of replies from me,.

No it wasn’t a goady thread and I wasn’t aware of this being a recurrent subject on Aibu, I’m obviously not in here enough!

Compare and contrast the mattress delivery guys who put on those blue plastic over shoe things when they arrived to deliver new mattress last week. No asking or discussion, they just did it.

Clothes as dirty as shoes? Unless he rolled from the car to my front door, I very much doubt it.

In my porch are no less than 12 pairs of shoes of varying sizes, men’s, women’s, kids, so it’s pretty obvs we are a shoe off house.

I hadn’t at all thought of the socks angle and am not shuddering at the thought and will never again, probably, invite a stranger into my home.

Thank you and goodnight!

Eh? I don’t ask people to remove their shoes when entering my house. I don’t want to see their feet lol

TheSerenDipitY

not rude, in fact it is the opposite of rude, hes saying shall i remove my shoes and protect your expensive floor coverings or shall i walk shit thru your house

You see, this is what I just don’t get, it’s a rhetorical question surely!!

Not to mention certain visiting tradesmen have had the stinkiest feet

Indeed. OP, I guarantee if DP turned up at your house and took his shoes off, you’d wish he kept them on.

hes saying shall i remove my shoes and protect your expensive floor coverings or shall i walk shit thru your house

Rude to suggest his shoes are covered in shit, unless your path is covered in shit. Is it?

oh god this is getting so boring, same old, same old. Plus your OP makes no sense

Is this question code for, "I think your house is dirty"? in fact it would mean the opposite. What ARE you on about?

YAB extremely unreasonable.

Different people have different rules. Growing up, we walked around barefoot and never asked guests to take off their shoes nor was I ever asked or told to when visiting other people’s homes. Most had welcome mats, runners, and/ or non-carpeted social areas. Unless it was raining and/or muddy, no one was expected to take off their shoes.

I moved here and some people want you to and some people don’t so how else am I suppose to know what a host prefers if I don’t ask. Having shoes near the front door is not an absolute indicator. We have wood vinyl floors on the first floor and I wear shoes while my children don’t (they dislike shoes). Our carpeted stairs are slippery otherwise I would be barefoot too. Our shoes are kept near the back door or under the bench in the living room so any guest wouldn’t know unless they ask and I rather not have people take off their shoes for their own safety. Heaven knows what my boys have dropped or spilled on the floor while my back was turned. Unless someone is going upstairs (all carpet unfortunately), there’s very little reason I’d have a guest take off their shoes. It only annoys me when visitors ask, I say no, and they do it anyway. Why’d you ask then if you’re going to do as you please anyway? And why would you need to if you’re only going to be around

You see, this is what I just don’t get, it’s a rhetorical question surely!!

No. It's a question expecting a straight answer.

Some clients will have shoes-off houses, some will be shoes-on. He might go into a dozen houses a day, and does not want to offend the people he's hoping to skim 3% of the selling price off by getting it wrong. It's easier on everyone - except apparently you with your bizarre take on the matter - if he just asks at the door.

Honestly, you're a loony.