AIBU to think the question, "would you like me to take my shoes off?" is rude?

[Underhiseye2]

Just that really. An estate agent came to value my house today. The first thing he did was introduce himself and we shook hands. The second thing, he stepped inside and looked around and asked "shall I take my shoes off?".

I would never dream of not taking my shoes off on entering someone's house, except maybe my MILs because she is a filthy mare, it's automatic.

Is this question code for, "I think your house is dirty"? Straight up, I am not the house proud lady that my own mother was, but man, this place is clean and tidy. We are part hard-wood floor and part carpet (which could be seen from where estate agent was standing).

No - different people have different attitudes on this subject; and especially people who visit lots of houses, like estate agents and tradespeople, will know people with all sorts of views on the matter. I prefer if people take their shoes off when visiting me, but it's not a big deal. Many people don't care, or even find it odd to have people take their shoes off. I'm sure he wasn't implying that your house was dirty!

I have read this thread twice and I am still confused.
I think yabu op, but I also think there's an even chance I have completely misunderstood what you mean.

YABU. You sound snotty.

In my porch are no less than 12 pairs of shoes of varying sizes, men’s, women’s, kids, so it’s pretty obvs we are a shoe off house.

Not really, it's pretty obvs you have a messy house, but that's about it.

IMO, this shoes on/off thing will become history. We will all automatically take them off at the door, in due course.

Why on earth would we all possibly do that?

We’ve got loads of shoes by the front door - we are shoes-off for family but don’t mind what guests do. Downstairs is wear-what-you-like. Upstairs I prefer shoes off, but that’s rare an adult guest needs to go upstairs - kids naturally take their shoes off.

Honestly, floors can be cleaned and life’s too short for fussing.

You see, this is what I just don’t get, it’s a rhetorical question surely!!

Do you understand what a rhetorical question is, OP? I’m baffled by your thought processes!

It's polite to ask.
A lot of people don't mind.
I sure don't, and didn't even when the carpets were cream

I don’t automatically remove my shoes when entering another persons house, or ask them if I should do unless I see something that makes me feel like I should. I take shoes off for bed and comfiness not because I think it’s otherwise rude. YABU imo but that’s ok hopefully this will have made you feel better and less sensitive to the issue.

If you think that’s a rude question, I think you’re crackers.

I encourage my DCs to take their shoes off near the door purely so they can find the ruddy things the next day. I normally have some trainers lurking around because the odds of them being muddy and having cow/ sheep shit on them are high from cross country running.

Someone in smart shoes such as an estate agent who is capable of finding them again, I really couldn't give two hoots about.

If you're more comfortable leaving them on, that's fine. If you're more comfortable taking them off, that's fine.

I don't want someone doing work endangering themselves by removing protective clothing or slithering around in those ridiculous little blue bags. They're not going to do any more damage to our original feature carpets than years of DIY related carnage have failed to do.

I hate being expected to remove my shoes and realising that my feet have turned into a grubby, sweaty mess since I put my sandals on. I'm sure my sandal soles are the lesser of two evils!

Basically, on this issue, I think the onus is on the households to say politely “Would you mind taking your shoes off?” rather than on the guest trying to guess the household norm.

Basically, on this issue, I think the onus is on the households to say politely “Would you mind taking your shoes off?” rather than on the guest trying to guess the household norm.

That is really rude.

No it isn’t. I don’t care if people keep their shoes on but I would never be offended if people asked me to take mine off.
Carpet is expensive and people who’ve had to save up for it want to protect it. My mum in particular is very anxious about this because if the carpet gets ruined she can not afford to replace it.
I have hard floors downstairs so dirt isn’t an issue but I don’t like people going upstairs in shoes where it is all carpeted. Visitors to my house never really need to go upstairs though.

I must live a very different lifestyle to MN most. I wear shoes indoors a lot. I go in and out, all the time.

Eg: I come home with 4 bags of shopping: we have a second freezer and a fridge in our garden shed, and I also have a front shed where I store back up washing powder, dishwasher tablets etc, so in the process of putting shopping away I will probably be in and out: kitchen, front a
Shed, back shed.....then I put my shopping bags in the boot of my car. Then I have something that needs putting in the garage.

Then I go into the garden, on the patio to hang out a load of washing.

In-out, all the time.
A no shoes in the house policy wouldn't work for me.

It would if it bothered you. As it doesn't, it doesn't matter.

No I wouldn't see that as rude. Its politely considerate. Sometimes our guests see we gave ours off and ask that and we say it's fine for them to keep theirs on.

There's no pleasing the MN crowd at all. Lots of MN folk are wishing and praying that visitors would take shoes off, without being asked, and that the big pile of shoes by the door should give them the hint. And now the consensus is that visitors are rude to ask!

What puzzles me, though, is when you see front doors with lots of shoes outside, or in a porch which is clearly not locked. Might they not be stolen? In the 90's, the issue with teenagers wasn't knives; it was stealing trainers off each others' feet.

And now the consensus is that visitors are rude to ask!

What are you talking about...?

The whole thread is people telling the OP she's BU to think this ^^

You’re crazy, he was being polite. Not every household is a no shoes household. I’m not arsed about shoes being kept on because we have wood flooring throughout and I mop daily.

Of course he wasn't being rude. That's polite.

It genuinely amazes me that some people seem unable to differentiate. Then I look around me on a good day and, well ...

I don't know anyone in rl who takes shoes off in anyone's house so no they weren't rude. It's largely a MN thing

**SpoonBlender

You see, this is what I just don’t get, it’s a rhetorical question surely!!

No. It's a question expecting a straight answer.

Some clients will have shoes-off houses, some will be shoes-on. He might go into a dozen houses a day, and does not want to offend the people he's hoping to skim 3% of the selling price off by getting it wrong. It's easier on everyone - except apparently you with your bizarre take on the matter - if he just asks at the door.

Honestly, you're a loony**

You haven’t looked at my quoted reply in context though 🤪

I think it’s ruder for someone who doesn’t know you (like this estate agent) to take their shoes off without asking.

OP he was being polite. You are being very unreasonable.