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Original poster

New kitchen, annoyed house mate ...

162 replies

LittleMissUnreasonable · 27/06/2019 18:50

So basically I had a new kitchen fitted a few weeks ago, which managed to over run to whilst I was on holiday for 3 nights. My housemate was in for the last day of the kitchen management. We had already been 2 weeks without a kitchen and were coping with a fridge and microwave set up in the living room which was less than ideal. I could see she was getting irate at it all. The builders left the key in a safe place when they left which I told her about but not specifics (eg I said it was in the shed rather than in the shed under the paint can). It has slipped my mind to mention the specifics because I was driving , which I know I was being totally unreasonable for. I got an angry phone call whilst away demanding where the key is as she couldn't get in. I was very apologetic, told her and said I was sorry as she had been searching for it for 15 mins. Now she's been calling her sister, parents and partner saying how unreasonable I was, how she's sick of the kitchen etc. I told her to leave everything for me when I get back and she was a martyr and decided to unpack things into kitchen cupboards then moan about it. I have specifically said I would do this when home.
This is housemate is not paying rent and hasn't done since living here months ago (friend of a friend). Would I be unreasonable to tell her if she doesn't like living rent free in my house and moans to all and sundry about an error I made, she can sod off and get her own digs?

OP posts:
lottiegarbanzo · 27/06/2019 22:32

'I think the pressures of the last two weeks have just brought to my attention how unsuited I am to having long term guests. I'm sure your parents can help you find somewhere more suitable.'

IHateUncleJamie · 27/06/2019 22:33

Why are you worried about burning bridges with people who are basically dumping their daughter on you?

Nemesia1264 · 27/06/2019 22:34

Doesn't help the sisters parents think she's a massive martyr for putting up with this as well
^
This indicates that her parents think she's paying rent otherwise it doesn't make sense. U

TinklyLittleLaugh · 27/06/2019 22:35

I want to live alone/ start renting the room for money ; this arrangement doesn’t work for me anymore.

Seriously though, we live just outside a grim northern town. DD2 came home from uni, went to a temp agency and 2 hours later had a temp job paying £300 a week. She doesn’t sound like she’s trying very hard.

Jaxhog · 27/06/2019 22:37

She either pays rent, shuts up or leaves.

If the latter, who cares if you burn bridges? They (she, parents and sister) are massively taking advantage!! Give her a month's notice.

Nemesia1264 · 27/06/2019 22:39

Just say this arrangement is no longer working for you, you no longer wish to have lodgers (paying or otherwise !) and she'll need to find somewhere else to live. Don't say ASAP as that could be a year; give her a proper time frame.

homeishere · 27/06/2019 22:43

In light of recent events, I’ve taken stock of my position and I no longer want to have a housemate. I appreciate this will come as a shock, so therefore I’m giving you two weeks notice to find somewhere else to live. Your date to leave is therefore Saturday 13/6. Please be out, with all your possessions by 5pm.

SofiaAmes · 27/06/2019 22:43

Just say that you can't afford to have her living there rent free anymore.

homeishere · 27/06/2019 22:44

Alternatively, if you don’t care if you upset her and her family. Change the locks when she’s out, bag up her possessions and text her a time to collect them.

Brittany2019 · 27/06/2019 22:44

Please just tell her to get to fuck. Now, this weekend. Then next weekend you can revel in your new kitchen without having CF bitch to dread going back to.

Cherrysherbet · 27/06/2019 22:45

The only thing that I care about here, is that you were texting/on the phone whilst driving.

DON’T DO THAT EVER. You could kill someone.

Drum2018 · 27/06/2019 22:56

Simply tell her that the living arrangements are no longer working and you need her to leave. You don't have to give notice. She's a guest, not a lodger. If any of her family have the cheek to question why she's moving out be honest and tell them you've had enough of her freeloading, and enough of her complaints. You really do not have to put up with her for a day longer. It's not as if she'll be homeless given she has her parents and sister to fall back on. Even if she's offers to pay rent now I'd say no thanks.

Butterfly84 · 27/06/2019 22:56

I honestly cannot believe you have even let this happen...let her stay with you and pay no rent. You don't owe her anything, it is not your issue that she can't afford rent. Just tell her that the arrangment isn't working for you anymore and you need your own space back...job done.

msmith501 · 27/06/2019 23:00

You already know the answer OP. Demonstrate self respect, self worth, an understanding of how hard you clearly have worked to pay for the work done and get house squatter to sling her hook. No one needs to be surrounded by negative dependents, especially when those dependents are not your children. You will be amazed at how much happier happier you'll feel once you have enabled yourself : given yourself permission to speak your mind. Good luck !!

category12 · 27/06/2019 23:10

I'd say something like - "As you must realise, living here rent-free could only ever be temporary and at this point after 9 months, I need you to make other arrangements. It's been lovely having you to stay, but it's time for me to get my house back to myself/find a lodger who contributes fully. I'll give you a month's notice from today, and if I can help with references etc, I will.."

category12 · 27/06/2019 23:23

Or "I've been happy to help out by putting you up temporarily, but it's now been nine months and you don't seem happy with the living situation, and to be honest, neither am I. So it's time to move things on, so I'm giving you a couple of weeks notice so you can get sorted".

GabsAlot · 27/06/2019 23:28

You just say you cant afford it not having ful rent and she'll have to find somewhere else

Original poster
LittleMissUnreasonable · 28/06/2019 00:16

@CherrySherbert I never said I texted whilst driving, sorry if I gave that impression :) I meant that I forgot to tell her where the key was whilst driving. When I pulled up the car I had a missed call from her, called her back and was faced with an angry response as she had been waiting 15-20 minutes :).

The rest of these suggestions are brilliant, I'm looking forward to having a good 'honest' chat when I get home with her

OP posts:
cstaff · 28/06/2019 00:23

Good thinking OP. Just remember to come back and give us nosey fuckers an update especially her reaction. Sorry, getting way too involved but I do love a good CF story with a happy ending Grin

iseveryusernametakenorwhat · 28/06/2019 00:30

So you're living with someone who doesn't pay their way and isn't even enjoyable to live with?! Holy crap they saw you coming. Tell her she needs to go back to her parents.

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/06/2019 05:43

You can blame the kitchen for costing you more than you planned and you now desperately need to find some money as you’re running out. You hope she doesn’t mind but you’re now going to start advertising for a paying lodger, not a guest so she is unfortunately going to have to move out. You’re really sorry, but you just don’t know what else to say. Preferably say this to your bf and ask her advice on how best to tackle it with parasite housefrenemy.

lidoshuffle · 28/06/2019 05:52

Problem is, if you say you need to find a paying housemate, they CF family may realise what a good billet CF has and chip in to contribute to her rent.

If you want her out, be clear that you are unhappy with the arrangement and get her to naff off out.

Norma27 · 28/06/2019 06:03

That M E N post has to be one of the most bizarre things I have ever read.

Norma27 · 28/06/2019 06:04

Sorry! Don’t know how I posted that here!

BoomBoomsCousin · 28/06/2019 06:09

Despite how much their parents spoil them both, you still like the sister, don't you? It's the sister who you want to stay on good terms with and it doesn't really matter about the others? If you're unsure how something like category12's message would go over with her I might ask the sister instead.

Just say something like "I'm finding it a bit much after 9 months. She's nice but she isn't you. How much notice do you think she needs? What's the best way to tell her?" That way the sister is complicit in any approach you take and will have to feel guilty herself if the freeloader or their parents get annoyed at the end of the free ride.