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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New kitchen, annoyed house mate ...

162 replies

LittleMissUnreasonable · 27/06/2019 18:50

So basically I had a new kitchen fitted a few weeks ago, which managed to over run to whilst I was on holiday for 3 nights. My housemate was in for the last day of the kitchen management. We had already been 2 weeks without a kitchen and were coping with a fridge and microwave set up in the living room which was less than ideal. I could see she was getting irate at it all. The builders left the key in a safe place when they left which I told her about but not specifics (eg I said it was in the shed rather than in the shed under the paint can). It has slipped my mind to mention the specifics because I was driving , which I know I was being totally unreasonable for. I got an angry phone call whilst away demanding where the key is as she couldn't get in. I was very apologetic, told her and said I was sorry as she had been searching for it for 15 mins. Now she's been calling her sister, parents and partner saying how unreasonable I was, how she's sick of the kitchen etc. I told her to leave everything for me when I get back and she was a martyr and decided to unpack things into kitchen cupboards then moan about it. I have specifically said I would do this when home.
This is housemate is not paying rent and hasn't done since living here months ago (friend of a friend). Would I be unreasonable to tell her if she doesn't like living rent free in my house and moans to all and sundry about an error I made, she can sod off and get her own digs?

OP posts:
sevenoftwelve · 27/06/2019 19:42

Do you often text people while driving?

SouthernComforts · 27/06/2019 19:43

Well that's a drip feed!!

midsomermurderess · 27/06/2019 19:44

She is in an awkward position to complain about the kitchen if she's living there rent free, but given that she is living there with your agreement under those circumstances, I can see how not being able to get in when you, didn't explain where the key is irritating. But it seems as if she has worn out her welcome and you'd be as well to ask her to leave.

BackOnceAgainWithABurnerEmail · 27/06/2019 19:46

I remember previous thread of yours when you were considering having her live with you, I think a fair number of us thought you’re mad then. You’ve been very good but it’s time for her to move on.

Whoopstheregomyinsides · 27/06/2019 19:54

It’s time to call time

LillithsFamiliar · 27/06/2019 20:03

She's not paying rent but she is paying bills and council tax so she's not entirely a scrounger.
Yy it would be annoying to be without a kitchen and to have to look for keys and to have to put the kitchen back together because the person who organised it all then went on holiday. And although you said she didn't need to put everything back, I do think most people would rather have the kitchen back in working condition rather than wait days for their housemate to return home.
So I don't think she was that UR but I think you're at the end of your tether with her so it may be time for her to move on.

SolsticeBabyMaybe · 27/06/2019 20:05

She's a CF who needs to move out! Complaining about you getting your kitchen done in your own home while she contributes nothing! C U later!

carly2803 · 27/06/2019 20:22

tell her to get out!!no your problem if she cant drive/on a shit wage etc -

shes a freeloading cheeky bitch!!

RonnieScotts · 27/06/2019 20:29

You've helped enough and now it's time for her to leave.

GU24Mum · 27/06/2019 20:30

As she's a friend's sister, that doesn't mean she has to stay living with you but probably means you need to make sure you say the right thing.

Is it that you don't mind here there but want her to pay some rent or that you'd like a lodger who you don't know or that you want the house to yourself. All are completely fine but you need to give the right reason so that if what you really want is no lodger then say that and if her family offer to pay, you can genuinely say that it isn't the money , you want your own space (or similar if it's one of the other reasons). Good luck - it definitely sounds like it's an arrangement which has run its course.

HollowTalk · 27/06/2019 20:31

But rent isn't something you pay if you have something left over! It's the first thing you pay, not the last.

Sarahjconnor · 27/06/2019 20:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sallyseagull · 27/06/2019 20:34

Sweet Jesus, she needs to go. NOW.

fedup21 · 27/06/2019 20:35

This is housemate is not paying rent and hasn't done since living here months ago

I just don’t understand some posters?! Why on earth would you want to share your home with someone who isn’t paying their way?! Madness.

DaisyYellow · 27/06/2019 20:35

How old is she?

If her parents are wealthy, but live somewhere remote, perhaps they should pay for driving lessons for her?

Why can’t she live with her sister?

Are the family blind to the fact that living with you, a non-family member, is placing a financial burden upon you? Have they offered any help to offset this?

tomatostottie · 27/06/2019 20:38

Give her notice and tell her she has to move out. Tell her sister as well so she can help to find her somewhere else.
You can't have someone basically squatting in your house and then being a total pain and making a fuss about a new kitchen being installed - yeah it's annoying for everyone, get over yourself princess.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 27/06/2019 20:43

How much could you rent her room for? How long has she been living with you? You have basically gifted her thousands of pounds OP. You are either massively rich, massively generous or a bit of a soft touch.

HollowTalk · 27/06/2019 20:46

I'd hate to live with someone like that - only cold hard cash could make me do it.

willowmelangell · 27/06/2019 20:48

Awkward. Either you ask your mate(her sister) to tell her to make other arrangements, or you look her in the eye and say, "It was never a long term arrangement, it was a favour, and now my circumstances have changed, I am giving you 30 days to move out. I am having a rent paying room mate moving in then."
The brass balls she has at complaining about her inconvenience.....
More power to you LMU! x

OoohRhubarbLetsGo · 27/06/2019 20:49

This is w golden opportunity to get her to move on. Tell her you are planning A LOT of renovations so this will be an ongoing problem, so best if she finds new accommodation where she won’t be inconvenienced. Her bedroom is next- or maybe the bathroom

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/06/2019 20:53

Looks as if you’ve finally reached the end of your tether. Good. Remember what this feels like and don’t get into being manipulated to let the situation continue.

Nemesia1264 · 27/06/2019 20:54

Hopefully when she complained to her parents and sister about the key/kitchen, they at least told her off?

TeaForTheWin · 27/06/2019 20:59

I suppose she is helping you with bills...I mean bills don't necessarily go up very much with a second person (apart from council tax...which can sometimes still be cheaper if halved between two anyway). But still the fact that she would 'only have 50 quid left if she paid rent' isn't your problem. She is getting a cuishty deal tbh and it wouldn't be me sharing with a bipolar moaning freeloader tbh.

Cherrysoup · 27/06/2019 21:00

Get rid. She isn't your problem.

Boysey45 · 27/06/2019 21:04

She needs to return to her parents if she cant afford rent and bills. Its more their responsibility than yours. She is not even your family.
If she cant drive then she can learn or get a bike/motorbike instead. I'd tell her she was going tomorrow.