To feel sorry for children always late for school

[Shootingstar1115]

I’m probably going to get slammed for this. I know parenting is hard and sometimes we all run a little late at times.

As a child I was always late for school. DM was absolutely terrible in the mornings. Wouldn’t get up early, we would never be given breakfast (usually biscuits or crisps in the car on the way). I hated walking in late every day. I never got used to it. Felt like all eyes were on me and the teachers would get annoyed. I wasn’t able to walk as the school was quite far away. I still very much like this now. It’s turned me into an extremely punctual person.

Every day after taking DS to school and DD over to the pre school I see the same parents walking towards the school by this point 15 minutes after it first started and they aren’t rushing either.

We live in a village where most people live no further than a 5 minute walk away from the school. It’s a small place and most people walk (other than the few who live in the surrounding areas).

I just feel sorry for the kids being ushered in so late in the morning. It’s the same parents every single day!! It reminds me of my childhood and now being late every day made me extremely anxious. Even at secondary school I’d be late every day. I didn’t live far enough away to get a bus in but it was too far to walk. I’d be sat in the car resdy waiting for DM to get in the car.

The school have sent home letters and everything about it.

Do some people just not give a crap??

Thank you @CaptainButtock for your kind comment. She sadly hasn’t and has got a lot worse over the years (I’m 30 now). A few years ago I realised it was out of my hands and I just had to enjoy her on her good days but can never rely on her. I really do envy people who grew up with stability. I’m lucky I have married someone just like that who has made my life monumentally better x

I forgot to say that we never judge the kids themselves. We know it's not their fault, and if there were genuine issues we'd be understanding. Some of the schools around here that are classed as deprived have started up a walking bus for parents that genuinely do struggle/can't be arsed/aren't capable.

But more often than not in my experience it poor organisation and a sense of entitlemtlement.

@formerbabe
“Ffs...no one is talking about children with special needs or medical conditions.”

But that’s just it, isn’t it? People almost certainly ARE talking about/being horribly judgemental about people with special needs or medical conditions. People don’t tend to wear t-shirts announcing these things.

Sometimes some parents are just shit...there's not always an excuse.

@Happyspud I disagree. I had a great childhood, loving parents and siblings, no money worries etc. Really can’t fault them ... except for the fact that my mum was late every single morning to drop us off, and now 30y later I still remember the stress and the shame, because the teacher tells you off not your parent 😔

@Cacacoisfarraige
I'm really running out of ways to say I'm not judging parents of children with sn/medical problems.

It’s so harsh to just dismiss parents as ‘shit’. Your version of parenting well won’t necessarily be the same as someone else’s. It’s judging them on one tiny aspect of their life.

My children are late maybe once or twice a month. One of my boys was beaten up by a group of children at school a few months ago and now he hates going in. It's getting better but if the ring leader has come anywhere near him then we will be late for a few days (fortunately normally in breakfast club so it's only me that's officially late). He will lay flat while being dressed, hide, beg, refuse to eat, urgently need the toilet then refuse to come off, refuse to move, make him, me or his brother messy so we need to change etc etc. He also cries at night about it so goes to sleep late and wets the bed overnight so he has a disturbed sleep. I'm not prepared to wake him any earlier. The school know all his issues and just keep telling me the bullying is resolved (there have been no new incidents) and he'll settle down. In the meantime, mornings are hellish because, ultimately, my 4 year old wasn't safe in school. So I sincerely hope no one raises concerns with me about lateness. I don't think I'd take it well.

We were late almost every day because my Mum couldn't get up.
Didn't have breakfast until we were trusted to make it ourselves.

hhmmm, well, we are not always late, it has happened though, but we are certainly always right on time, as in, two minutes later and we'd be late, we cut it very fine daily, though we do not have a cavalier attitude at all, I always stress to the kids it is important not to be late, and I am never late myself for work etc., although never early either

I don't know why, we are a very chilled family, we are night owls, we have complicated lives that include lots of travelling and moving often, we have family and friends all over the world that we often FaceTime with in different time zones, we are sometimes living out of a suitcase or just moved in and not settled etc. etc.

There are few things I value more than education, I respect teachers immensely and we have no SN or health issues, thankfully, but yes, we could potentially be the late ones, or at least the just on time ones

Just to say, even in case when it's not some of the very serious issues some posters have mentioned, it does not have to mean neglect either

Maybe I am naive, but I hope the cases of parents just not caring are few

Your version of parenting is getting your kids to school on time a "version of parenting"...is having them get enough sleep, wash and eat well also a "version of parenting"?

^Exactly this^^

Every day when I am leaving the car park ( 5 minutes walk from school) I pass a Y6 girl and her Y3 sister walking to school eating either a large bar of chocolate or sharing a packet of biscuits
There is no way they can get to school before the door is shut and they must have to go through the office and sign in as late every day.

A lady who lives near us has three children one with SEN. She walks every morning and afternoon as she does not drive. She sets off at about 8.15am and takes eldest to school he is 11 but very young for his years and there are 3 busy roads to cross for him. Tbh I always thought he had SN but she says not enough for special school. She says they arrive at 8.35am, which is earliest they are allowed to arrive. Then doubles back to take second child who is 8 to primary school and arrives at about 8.45am so just on time. Then she and youngest with SEN walks on to SEN school where her 6 year old arrives 10 mins late every day. He is eligible to go on free school bus but he can't because she has nobody at home to leave him with whilst she takes in other two. She does it all again in afternoon in reverse. The 6 year old is walking for over 2 miles each way every day even if snowing. She says she cannot afford a taxi and cannot think of any other way.

Dammit. My ‘exactly this’ was for @Cacacoisfarraige

Cacacoisfarraige

What about the posters on this thread who've said they were late to school as children because of their parents and they hated it...or the dc in my dc1s class who was late every single day but is now on time every day because they walk by themselves?

Can you really not see that some parents are flaky and its not ok?

*@formerbabe “I’m really running out of ways to say I'm not judging parents of children with sn/medical problems”

I might run out of ways to say “You are missing the bloody point!!! You probably are doing exactly that!! (Albeit unknowingly)

I walk DD to school. On my way home I pass a mum, her daughter (year below mine) and baby at EXACTLY the same point everyday and they are running because they are late.
I’m sure if they left 5 minutes earlier they would be there on time. It’s actually mind boggling as they must leave at the same time every day which makes them late.

Projecting much OP?! Gobsmacked at the judgement and lack of imagination of the perfect parents on here. Children can absolutely be the cause of lateness, rather than the victims. Creating a great deal of stress for parents who are trying to find methods of managing punctuality. Not giving a shit about your kids is neglectful and abusive. Deciding there are other battles to fight is not fucking neglect. Being late for school is not in itself neglectful. Get a grip.

I was often late, particularly as a teenager. I would get myself to school from age 11. No neglect, just I went to a different school a few miles from my younger siblings, and transport was an issue. Personal responsibility was encouraged in my family, and sometimes I just didn’t get up. That was on me. No need to feel sorry for me. As a teenager, I just didn’t care about being on time. Shockingly, here I am a functioning adult with good grades, higher qualifications and a job.

@formerbabe

Obviously some parents are flaky, whilst some are struggling to cope in very difficult circumstances. It's impossible to know which parents fall into which category just by looking at them.