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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Husband goes to bar

115 replies

Flora1926 · 26/06/2019 15:22

For the past 20 years every night after work my husband goes to the same bar and stays for 5 hours, he doesn't arrive home drunk, but as we are getting older it is really bothering me, I stay home waiting.
I don't have money to go out myself and it us starting to affect my health. He doesn't care what that I am alone every night. I am starting to so angry inside of me, HELP

OP posts:
Opossooom · 26/06/2019 15:27

I would never have been able to handle that OP. XXX

Al203 · 26/06/2019 15:27

You have no home life. Zilch. He will not change either. I presume you have no kids?

TurnOffTheTv · 26/06/2019 15:28

More fool you for putting up with it for 20 years.

Heratnumber7 · 26/06/2019 15:28

5 hours?? Every night??

How much does he spend in that time, and who is he with?

constantlyseekinghappiness · 26/06/2019 15:29

Every single working day for 5 hours????!!!!!

Tallgreenbottle · 26/06/2019 15:31

More fool you OP.

Bananacloud · 26/06/2019 15:32

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Halloumimuffin · 26/06/2019 15:35

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Ellie56 · 26/06/2019 15:54

5 hours? Hmm

I think you just want to test the voting buttons...

Theworldcouldbemymollusc · 26/06/2019 15:56

What??? This sounds so extreme. Why are you spending your life waiting for him to get home from the pub? This is no way to live. Do you work?

MamaOfBothTeams · 26/06/2019 15:57

Really? If it's true than you should've left 19 years ago

HumptyNumptyNooNoo · 26/06/2019 15:59

Go to the bar - pull up a seat and ask him to buy you a drink! And some crisps ! Introduce yourself to everyone and then tell him loudly that from now on it's either both of you out for a drink or neither of you . He's had it too good for long enough.

formerbabe · 26/06/2019 16:00

Five hours, every night for twenty years Shock Grin

formerbabe · 26/06/2019 16:01

On the off chance, this is real, do you think he's an alcoholic?

hadthesnip2 · 26/06/2019 16:01

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CaptainMyCaptain · 26/06/2019 16:01

YANBU but I can't believe you've tolerated it for 20 years.

Asta19 · 26/06/2019 16:02

YABU simply for putting up with it for this long. Of course it won't change now!

Original poster
Flora1926 · 26/06/2019 16:04

It is real and I know I am stupid, my daughter asks why I am still here but we have been married 48 years -and I have nowhere else to go

OP posts:
stucknoue · 26/06/2019 16:05

Is this for real? It's unreasonable behaviour but after 20 years I'm honestly think you have zero chance of changing him, it's how he runs his life and you have agreed by letting him

Theworldcouldbemymollusc · 26/06/2019 16:05

How old are you op? What would you like to do?

KindleAndCake · 26/06/2019 16:06

What happened for the first 28 years of your married life? Were they ok?

Original poster
Flora1926 · 26/06/2019 16:07

And I do love him, why don't people believe me, I need advise and people calling me a liar

OP posts:
MamaOfBothTeams · 26/06/2019 16:07

Has he got a drinking problem? Or just doesn't like coming home?

Aquamarine1029 · 26/06/2019 16:07

Don't waste one more day. Kick him out.

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse · 26/06/2019 16:08

I voted YABU only because I think you are INSANE to have put up with this for TWENTY years!!!