Husband goes to bar

[Flora1926]

For the past 20 years every night after work my husband goes to the same bar and stays for 5 hours, he doesn't arrive home drunk, but as we are getting older it is really bothering me, I stay home waiting.
I don't have money to go out myself and it us starting to affect my health. He doesn't care what that I am alone every night. I am starting to so angry inside of me, HELP

A friend of a friends husband was doing this, finish work around 4 straight to the pub until 7 - 8 pm every day, sometimes at weekends. I don't think she was as bothered until they had kids. They socialised together as a young couple, eating out etc. However as her life and priorities changed after having children his didn't and she would be at home with their 3 children. Last year she left him and they're now in the process of getting divorced, they had been together in total 17 years.
No advice as such for you OP, as I suspect you are not going to leave him, but perhaps you could take up a hobby or something to occupy your evenings. If you do decide you're unhappy enough to leave, and find the strength to do so then good luck and wish you well.

Meet a nice new man who can take you interesting places and see a life beyond the same bar.
I suspect the OP is of an age where this is not as easy as for a younger person and may not even be what she wants. I say this as someone in my 60s, by the way, not being ageist. I do think she should widen her horizons though if she is sitting at home waiting for him each night - we don't actually know she is doing this do we?

YABU for putting up with this for so long!!!

she has probably gone because of how people were with her at the start.

i don't know why it was so unbelievable.

i'd imagine there are plenty of people like this.

i know a lot of pubs just with old men sitting there all evening until it closes.

Yes, plenty men like this, especially in London, they go to the Pub before they get on the train home. Most nights they get involved.

The only advice we have is to tell her to leave or ask him to leave, doubt she'll do either shes put up with it for 20 year's

YANBU! Thats awful.

I'm sorry Op, the situation sounds awful.
I'm not sure how anyone on Mumsnet can advise you. If you've put up with this situation for so long, what's changed?
Do you want to change your life?
What goals/ambitions do you have?
The answer to these questions might help you see what's important to you, and whether it's worth disrupting the status quo.

It's not that unbelievable, my grandad always did the same thing. As did his friends.

But you're definitely not unreasonable to not like it!

Your marriage ended 20 years ago op

But when does he eat?

I get that this was normal 30 plus years ago but it isn’t now.

Someone laughed because my DH was changing a nappy the other day but that’s how it should be in a relationship.

Some of my older female relatives have been single for years and are doing great. I would rather be single than put up with what you have done.

Is there no family you can live with for now?

I don’t get the maths. 5 hours means leaving the pub at 10 pm or later. When the heck does he eat dinner or do anything else at all?

You can get the locks changed in those 5 hours OP

My grandad did the same. He'd be home for dinner at 6 and then off to the pub from about 8.30 pm to midnight, most nights.
Grandmother just put up with it. He'd always done it. I believe he was an alcoholic but it was never officially said. She was a teetotaller. In his later years they went out together on Saturday night for dinner and he drank less as he had health issues.
No one would put up with it now.