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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Next doors pissing parcels WIBU

226 replies

Lovelost01 · 25/06/2019 20:40

Moved almost 3 months ago, waiting to go back to uni so I’m in maybe 60% of daytime hours. Next door is also a single mum and doesn’t work. I hear her in most of the time I’m in.

In the 3 months I’ve lived here, I’ve had delivery people knock for her packages to be left here between 1-3 times a week. Every week. She never introduced herself, I have seen her a few times over the garden fence and said Hi, tried to initiate chit chat when seeing her on the front but she doesn’t seem to want to talk (completely understand that).

Out of all these parcels she has never come to pick them up, the delivery people always say they will put a note through her door so she knows they’re here. I’ve always waited a day or two then taken them round, usually when there’s a few.

On Thursday I accepted a package for her then another man appeared, they brought a huge really heavy box with a picture of a chest of drawers on! He said he was pretty sure he heard someone in the house but no answer so I took it anyway. It’s far too heavy for me to even move slightly. So it’s been here since thursday and she still hasn’t come round. I put a note through her door this morning asking her to come get it and she put one back through mine (?!) saying she can’t because it will be too heavy and she’s a single mum. I knocked for her again knowing she was in but she didn’t answer. It’s definitely too big and heavy even if I suggested we both try to move it to hers we probably couldn’t. WIBU to call the couriers back and tell them I want to return it?! Would they even do that? I can’t open my front door properly because its so huge, cant move it elsewhere!

OP posts:
LadyFidgetAndHerHandbag · 25/06/2019 22:59

Ooh, how about - get your dad, brothers and friends round and build it in your hallway then carry it to her front door, knock and run away.

BrokenWing · 25/06/2019 23:03

Open it, take all the drawers out accidentally lose a couple of screws and move it piece by piece to right outside her front door, ring her bell and run away.

IHateUncleJamie · 25/06/2019 23:03

I don’t want to cause a huge fuss after 3 months of living here but will make a sign for inside my window stating my addresses parcels only. I feel like that’s as aggressive as I can be

You’re not being aggressive, @Lovelost01you’re being assertive. There’s a big difference. Refusing to take any more parcels for this absolute CF is not causing a fuss, it’s setting boundaries.

If you don’t learn to do this and that it’s ok to say “No” then people are going to walk over you for the rest of your life.

Note back through NDN’s door saying “Sorry, not my problem; I can’t lift it either.”

Next time any courier asks you to take a delivery for her you say “No, sorry but she never comes for them so I’m not taking any more in for her.”

Remember - assertive is not aggressive. Big girl pants on.

LineRunner · 25/06/2019 23:04

I toughened up hugely this last year having had some awful neighbours (luckily temporarily). It was quite a thrill having the following conversation:

Courier: Will you take a parcel for number 40?
Me: No. Because they're arseholes.

It's really quite liberating.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 25/06/2019 23:05

Do not take it to her door.
Just push it out onto the street.

Nearlythere1 · 25/06/2019 23:05

Seriously I would dump it in the street and shout through her letterbox that it's there

plinkyblonk · 25/06/2019 23:06

My new neighbour does the exact same thing a good few deliveries a week!!! but she appears at between 8pm-11pm to pick her mail up she bangs on the door waking my DD up (we live in a flat). There is a mumbles a thank you and rushes off.

The last straw was when I bumped in to get on the stairs and she didn't say Hi or speak at all!

So now if there is a delivery for her I refuse to take it. I can't stand having her parcels lying around having to watch that my toddler doesn't open them or break them, then to have her not even say thank you properly or Hi in passing it's rude.

LizB62A · 25/06/2019 23:12

In future, JUST SAY NO Smile

ZenNudist · 25/06/2019 23:15

Go round, knock on. Tell her to come and pick it up piecemeal now. Do not do it for her. If she doesn't then unfortunately you will have to dump it in her garden.

Itssosunny · 25/06/2019 23:18

Don't accept anything for her anymore. The couriers would have to deal with her.

Sunshine93 · 25/06/2019 23:21

Could you drop a note through saying that you are going away for a couple of months so if she wants it anytime soon she will have to collect. Then once collected if she asks you can just say the trip got cancelled. It doesn't sound like she is the kind of person who would ask anyway.

Snowy81 · 25/06/2019 23:21

Open it, take all the drawers out accidentally lose a couple of screws and move it piece by piece to right outside her front door, ring her bell and run away

This^^^

Butterymuffin · 25/06/2019 23:23

I like the leave it on her doorstep in pieces plan.

Sunshine93 · 25/06/2019 23:25

Also did anyone else wonder what a pissing parcel was or is it just me?

Excitedforxmas · 25/06/2019 23:26

Open your door and leave it outside. It’s not your parcel or your problem

BigRedLondonBus · 25/06/2019 23:27

Just say no, seriously it’s not difficult, I never take in parcels. I refused today, the delivery driver was abit moany but I couldn’t give a shit

madcatladyforever · 25/06/2019 23:28

Refuse to take the parcels in....

The end.

PompeyBez · 25/06/2019 23:28

Put another note through her door. Dear NDN, your chest of drawers still hasnt been collected from my hallway after x days. Sorry, I must have been out when you came to collect it. I will leave it on my doorstep on my way out tomorrow at 9am. Many thanks. Then do not take in any more parcels for her!!

LineRunner · 25/06/2019 23:29

Or you could build it in your garden, and tell the couriers to leave all the other parcels in the drawers.

Eliza9919 · 25/06/2019 23:31

Why did you accept it?

List it for sale on your local Facebook pages.

Stop taking parcels to her and keep/sell those too.

She's one cheeky bitch, and I'd be telling her so too.

Ambydex · 25/06/2019 23:35

I would normally say don't get your dad and brothers round. Give her an inch and she'll take a mile.

However in this case I think you should get them round. Not to help her out, but to solve the problem you have of stuff in your hallway . If she opens the door, have them take it into her hall, otherwise leave it on her drive in good weather. Then - and this bit is important - never take anything in for her again. Say no every single time and put a sign up. Because if you take the drawers round and continue to accept parcels you might as well tattoo "mug" across your forehead, and she will continue to take you as such.

Ambydex · 25/06/2019 23:38

Incidentally if she really can't fetch it, she could send it back under distance selling regs and get the money back minus delivery charges. She'd need to be fairly quick, I think you only get 10 days or so. But this is not your problem to solve and it's counter-productive to be her fixer.

whatisheupto · 25/06/2019 23:46

Why don't you just keep everything? Grin

IveNotSlept · 26/06/2019 00:00

Why did you accept it? I’d have refused it.

I work from home a lot and realised after a month or so that the delivery driver will come straight to my house if no one answered for the 6 houses around us. So now I completely ignore the door if we aren’t expecting a parcel. I got really annoyed one day when my parents popped round and the delivery driver spotted them coming in so asked my dad if he’d mind accepting a parcel, he said “no”, I was so annoyed! I explained that if you do that he’ll be round here everyday with his deliveries. I’ve not taken any parcels for a couple of months now. Just ignore the door!

Get someone to help you put the drawers outside her house and leave it at that, it’s her problem.

Winterlife · 26/06/2019 00:03

I agree with Ambydex. I also agree you shouldn’t open the package.

Tell her you will have it delivered to her drive/doorstep on X day. Do this in writing and keep a copy. Point out you can’t open your door.

I would not bother telling her I won’t accept deliveries. Just refuse them in the future.