AIBU to let this go, or should I complain about son being 'hit' by a teacher

[narisha99]

So, DS10 was chatting in class today while watching a video (educational, relating to the subject) and was told off twice by the teacher for talking. Fair enough. The third time the teacher hit him on the head with a book!

DS says it was hard, ie more than a tap, but wasn't enough to cause any type of injury. DS wasn't hurt or upset at the time, but was a little embarrassed and did in fact stop talking.

Whilst I don't think the teacher should have done that, its nothing more than I would have done at home, so I am tempted to leave it.

But DH thinks it is totally inappropriate and we should be complaining to the head in the morning.

WWYD?

@Tableclothing did you mea t tag me in those? I presume boo was for my attention?

I didn't make either of those quotes?

I'm with you on this OP.
And common assault wtf?
I remember back in school my design and technology teacher had enough of mine and my friends chatting so got the duct tape and taped our mouths shut - I would of preferred a tap with a book than ripping that fucker off!

What was the title of the book

Mein Kampf?

I’ve heard this a lot. Actually if teachers weren’t allowed to touch children at all, most schools would be very different, and not in a good way. There’s comforting a distressed or hurt child, there’s politely directing children to queue or move aside. Non verbal signals are often essential in certain conditions and that can involve touching. In more serious situations, most schools have a policy about restraint when necessary (rare, but important). If your child was being attacked by a bully, would you want the teacher to step aside, or intervene? I’ve had to restrain students who are fighting and been taught to do so.

None of which is applicable to what happened here, is it?

What was the title of the book

Much ado about nothing.

DS says it was hard,
Of course he does

I once handed an exercise book back to a girl, a cimbination of my not looking directly at her and her reaching over to big something up meant it caught her chin. Cue an almighty row, I'd thumped her in the face with a heavy book, it was only because the rest of the class said what had really happened that it was sorted out
Parents need to take what their little dears say with a large pinch of salt.

It’s poor judgement from the teacher but only because there are parents who fly off the handle about what is almost certainly a playful tap.

Tell your DS to listen to his teacher. Don’t complain. Everyone lives happily ever after.

Leave it. Taps against your head feel louder and worse than what they are.

I’m so glad I got out of teaching.... no wonder there’s a shortage with reactions like this.

a teacher (or any adult) shouldn't be hitting a child in the head, imo. I'd out in a complaint.

FFS teach your son to behave and listen to instructions

I suspect it was a tap on the head

I wouldn't be a teacher for all the money in the world

SinkGirl
You are wilfully missing the point.

I interact with 400 + students a day - more if you count out and about the school - that’s 1000+.

I use my voice, gestures, face and sometimes physical contact to help maintain order, to comfort, to have a bit of a laugh with my students.

I like my students. They like me. We work together to do difficult work. I will swat them on the head. They will accuse me of abuse. We will laugh. Then we will do more difficult work together.

I’d let the school know as I wouldn’t be happy about this at all.

But I’d also be making sure my child knew how wrong it was to misbehave like that in class, making sure there was an appropriate punishment.

"other methods of discipline- official warning, demerit, , stand outside the room. sent to head etc"

Don't these go on the child's school record? I think on the whole I'd rather a teacher dealt with undisciplined children on the spot than have them go through all that palaver and have a black mark that follows them up the school or in this case on to their next school.

The truthful child seems to have said both that it hurt and that it didn't hurt but only embarrassed him. Not very consistent, that.

(Having been ten myself I am inclined to remember not always being totally truthful about the evil teachers.)

Make it compulsory for anyone with children to spend one moth per year in the classroom, covering all the age ranges. Suddenly school behaviour will become better because it will truest be supported from home.

Teacher has enough to deal with. If your child was not listening then that disrupts the entire class.

You are right to leave it.

Maybe your husband should be looking at your sons behaviour and encouraging him to take some responsibility for it.

If anything I’d be apologising to the teacher for my son’s behaviour.

Good enough for him, maybe next time he will think twice about talking in class.

I'm all for telling my kids to behave.... & I always take the teachers side, they do a hard job & as I've said to my kids, the teacher has 30+ pupils to control... BUT the teacher should never get physical, by all means send him out, send to the head or whatever, but you don't hit with the book. I think that you should raise this with the school.

Your ds was not only repeatedly disruptive in the class and disrespectful to his teacher but is now telling you he got "hit" because he knows you'll focus on that instead of his behaviour.

I'd feel sorry for the teacher, assume it was intended as a harmless tap to try to get the three of them to pay attention after repeatedly being ignored, and have a stern word with ds about being an arse.

Same here in our house zig

Two wrongs don't make a Wright as they say. Your son should have done as he was told the first time but this does not excuse the teacher. Rather than talking to the head I would be having a quiet word with the teacher telling her you understand the situation but it does not excuse her actions. We're coming to the end of the school year now so I guess may be a lot of stress with reports etc. Just point out if ds does not listen in future maybe moving him would be a better course of action.

Sorry but I would definitely raise this. Completely unacceptable.

I’m a teacher. I’ve never worked in a school where hitting (or tapping/ knocking/ patting -,whatever you want to call it) on the head with a book would be part of the behaviour policy. Schools should have clear guidelines as to how misbehaving/ not listening in class is dealt with for teachers and other staff to follow. I highly doubt that’s what the teacher was doing. I would honestly be shocked if I saw a colleague respond to low level behaviour in this way.

I wouldnt go in full guns blazing but I would definitely raise this with the teacher. It’s not appropriate and hitting over the head with a book, even if done lightly or as a bit of a joke, is a terrible example to the class. It’s the sort of act which could be followed by a spate of copying from students who might be a lot more forceful when hitting their classmates over the head.

Teachers should be working within behaviour policies and using appropriate consequences and sanctions. According to your son this has clearly not happened here and so you’d be right to at least ask for more information about the incident.

Get a grip & tell your child to behave. Whispering up the back is disruptive. It's also rude & shows a lack of respect for authority & rules. The teacher has enough to deal with with the 30 in front of him/her without also dealing with a frivolous complaint that you don't even feel that strongly about otherwise you would have been straight on the phone rather than gauging opinion on a forum.

Common assault
A weapon

FFS, MN never fails to disappoint
No wonder kids think they can do what the fk they like at school because they know that if the teacher so much as raises a voice at a teacher they can go home and tell mummy a teacher screamed at them, or so much as touches them it means they've been smacked about.
Just say "well, maybe you won't mess about next time"
The teacher's hardly going to have brained him with a book.