Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be worried about this? Accidental glass of wine at 11 weeks...

102 replies

Mmmgoats · 25/06/2019 10:48

I wasn’t that worried about this but my friend has made me panic a bit.
Was at a family bbq at the weekend and I’d taken some non alcoholic wine that I hadn’t tried before. My cousin went and poured me a small glass and we were chatting, I drank some of mine and commented how good it was, probably drank about half a small wine while eating.
I couldn’t stomach the rest (been feeling sick a lot) so left it but then my cousin realised that she had mixed them up and given me the proper wine and she had had the non alcoholic wine (when she got herself another glass from the correct bottle and realised it tasted different)
At the time I didn’t think it would be a problem as t was only half a small glass, although not ideal but I told my friend and she was horrified and said 11 weeks is the worst time to drink because of all the development that’s going on.
Obviously I know a lots going on but she wouldn’t let it drop and keeps talking about FAS and the fact that my baby’s organs could be affected. It’s not something I would have chosen to do, but now I’m really anxious and upset and although I haven’t been on for a while, thought I’d get an overview here.
I know it’s done now, nothing I can do so my previous view was no point worrying about it, but since talking to my friend I feel terrible and so guilty Incase anything goes wrong :(

OP posts:
MissRhubarb · 25/06/2019 12:46

Your friend is toxic. I'd distance myself (a lot).

Folk shouldn't even be wittering on about FAS on this thread. It's of no relevance here and there's nothing to worry about. As others have said - honestly, it's a non-incident. Please don't worry x

BitchyArriver · 25/06/2019 12:51

Your friend is a bitch.

Are you sure she didn’t give you the wine on purpose?

Your baby will be fine Flowers

CustardySergeant · 25/06/2019 12:53

"Are you sure she didn’t give you the wine on purpose?"

It was the OP's cousin that gave her the wine, not the friend.

MrsCasares · 25/06/2019 12:57

Your friend is no friend. When she harps on about it again tell her stress is bad for your baby and she is stressing you out. Alternatively send her along to me and I’ll put her right.

Half a glass of wine will do no harm (retired midwife here).

SpelledRong · 25/06/2019 12:57

Get angry at your friend and then avoid her. I'm so sorry she deliberately made you feel guilty over this. And I'm sorry you didn't have someone with you to tell her to be quiet and stop being ridiculous! She is no friend of yours.

Wheresthecoffee92 · 25/06/2019 13:01

YABVU to worry about this! Don't even give it a second thought, it's no big deal. It's not even a small deal. It's literally a non event.

PhillipeFellope · 25/06/2019 13:04

Just to add to the chorus of 'your baby will be fine' OP. Honestly, it really will.

And anecdotally, my mother was told to have half a pint of mackisons a night when she was expecting me to cure her anaemia, and I'm fine.

Theworldcouldbemymollusc · 25/06/2019 13:05

@PhillipeFellope - my mum was told the same and dutifully obliges!! I had forgotten about that!

Babdoc · 25/06/2019 13:08

I hope she is now an ex friend. Whether the wine has caused harm or not is irrelevant, since there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. It’s already been absorbed into your body and metabolised.
If there were some sort of emergency antidote that you could be prescribed, then yes, it would make sense for the friend to urge you to seek treatment.
But there is not - so she is being deliberately nasty and winding you up for no purpose other than her own sick pleasure in tormenting you, or a love of creating drama.
I would avoid her completely. Unless you wish to see her one last time to utter a few well chosen words. Mainly four letter ones...

Amanduh · 25/06/2019 13:50

I was over 16 weeks when I found out I was pregnant. With a massive hangover. After an all inclusive holiday.
Please don’t worry.

KnittingSister · 25/06/2019 14:01

There might not be any published evidence about safety of drinking alcohol during pregnancy, but there's plenty of anecdotal evidence- look at all the healthy adults walking around today, most of their mothers probably had a drink or two during pregnancy! Don't worry about it, enjoy the rest of your pregnancy, you're doing a great job! Flowers Smile

AbbyHammond · 25/06/2019 14:06

Almost everyone born before about 2006 would have FAS if it was possible to be caused by one small drink.

Most people born before about 1985 will have had mothers who drank or smoked or both throughout pregnancy.

TheCraicDealer · 25/06/2019 14:08

My DMum had a weekly-Saturday night glass of creme de menthe to help with heartburn when she was expecting DTwin and I Hmm We're both fine, despite that being having x4 the alcohol content!

Honestly hanging round with this woman and giving her dickhead comments headspace will do you and baby more harm through the stress and anxiety she causes than half a glass of wine ever will. She'll only get worse, so cut her loose now.

NoSauce · 25/06/2019 14:10

She’s no friend OP. Your baby won’t be affected by a small glass of wine. I know two women who didn’t know they were pregnant until the 2 trimester who’d drank A LOT of alcohol and smoked beforehand and their babies were absolutely fine.

ishouldbedoingsomework · 25/06/2019 14:10

When I was expecting in 2000 the midwife specifically discussed this at the booking appointment along with not smoking, avoiding pate etc etc- and the advice then was 1-2 units once or twice a week was fine- and so I drank that as I enjoy wine! DS is fine!
Please try not to worry.

tempester28 · 25/06/2019 14:19

The stress your friend is subjecting you to is far more harmful! Please don't worry about this small amount with food.

Diamondbean · 25/06/2019 14:24

God I hate people who say rubbish like that. Please please don’t be worried. As pps have said, lots of people don’t find out they’re pregnant until much later. Myself, I found out I was pregnant at 14 weeks, and I had been out around 10/11 weeks and got absolutely sloshed. Daughter is now 7 and perfectly happy and healthy.

MadamMMA · 25/06/2019 14:29

Your friend is wrong at best cruel at worst, your baby wont be affected

Drum2018 · 25/06/2019 14:38

Tell your friend to fuck off. Plenty of women, including myself, have had an odd glass of wine/beer during pregnancy and it's no harm. Her talk of FAS is bullshit after you'd only had half a glass. She's obviously a bloody drama queen and you'd do well to keep a bit of distance before baby arrives as she'll probably diagnose baby with every illness under the sun if she/he as much as sneezes Hmm

Buddytheelf85 · 25/06/2019 14:54

Your friend’s a twat. And wrong. But mostly a twat.

yearinyearout · 25/06/2019 14:56

Don't worry, one glass of wine isn't going to cause any issues. Ive known many people over the years who were regularly getting bladdered for several weeks without knowing they were pregnant and their babies all turned out fine (not that I'm encouraging the idea)

Ivestoppedreadingthenews · 25/06/2019 14:58

There is more evidence that worry and stress harm the baby than half a glass of wine. Please try to put it entirely from your mind.

36degrees · 25/06/2019 15:00

Tell your friend that unnecessary stress is worse for pregnant women than half a glass of wine so she'll understand why you can't see her until the baby arrives.

sweetiepie1979 · 25/06/2019 15:14

Your friend sounds like such a dick! Is she jealous of your pregnancy?

3luckystars · 25/06/2019 15:18

I wouldn't be surprised of she is making up about mixing the wines up.

Now would be a good time to cut her out of your life for good, she is bad news.