Parents want inheritance back

[NeededtoNC]

Ten years ago, my parents decided to gift me and my brother 100k each as early inheritance within the 7 year period.

With that I bought a house (with a mortgage). Still have 15 years left on the mortgage.

Now our parents want the inheritance back because they have decided they want to buy a summer home abroad.

DB is in a position to be able to as he’s well off.
However I am not and I’m barely able to keep up with the mortgage payments as it is.

In order to give back the money I’d need to sell. My parents are aware of this and have said that if I need help to pay rent, they’ll give it to me. But they want the lump sum in order to buy their holiday home.

AIBU to not give it to them?

coastey, the money wasn't just "transferred", it was given. There's a significant difference. They know that their daughter and their grandchildren will have to sell their home and go into all the uncertainties of renting. The grandchildren may have to move schools and the disruption may well damage their education. Would you do that to your children? Is that really the action of a loving parent?

No-one needs a holiday home, if the parents want one it would actually make much more sense simply to rent one as and when they want it rather than have somewhere standing empty a lot of the time, or having all the hassle of renting it out. If they wanted one, maybe they should have thought more carefully about their investments. Why should their children and grandchildren suffer because they made a bad investment?

been doing some research on gifting on Money UK & gov.uk - one thing stands out - if this was gifted the parents have probably done this as a tax dodge FOR THEIR BENEFIT as a way of them not paying tax owed on income as well as inheritance tax - also the whole point of gifting this amount of money is that they no longer have a claim to it & so it states in the gov.uk website re tax owed! - I suspect they probably think if they invest overseas property they will not have to pay tax in this country -

mumwon that may be the case re a tax dodge but it may not be the case too.

Oh I know - but - re the gov.uk website : the money gifted is done without expectation of the original giver making money on the gift -asking for its return to invest this way is quite sus don't you think???

So many desperate money grabbing offsprings.

Nowhere did the OP say she asked the money, she was given it and spent it.

Both my parents and dh's have been financially very generous to us (not asked for, entirely their choice) and I would help them out if they needed it but make my children homeless so they could buy a holiday home...hell no. Oh and "given so much of their lives to raising the children." is hardly applicable to either my parents or dh's and given the family dynamic the OP mentions, quite possibly not to her either.

mumwon very suspect I agree.

In the end, legally, I 'think' it comes down to what I said before. OP and her DH's names are on the deeds. The money I presume would have been a gift.

OP who probably won't come back to this post would have had all the documents and means of DPs parents funding this house purchase. Maybe the 100K was given first or maybe it was added when they bought the house. these details will be with their solicitors.

As I said before, it would prudent of OP to gift her parents a nominal sum by way of remortgage etc thus getting her parents off her back. A pain for her to do and she shouldn't have to do this but maybe it's best to do this to keep the peace unless her DB puts another 100K in to buy their holiday home.

They are not pulling the rug.Their daughter is supported in moving into rented premises until they die. She has the advantage of a holiday home as well. I have seven children, they go with the flow. Sometimes I help them sometimes they help me. What is wrong with everybody's world that there is not give and take. The daughter had a house and will have any profit that has been made. Her parents could have left her renting. This is still a win win transaction.

The problem may be that OP's parents aren't as nice, or as close to their DCs as you Coastey (remember they allowed her brother to behave as if she didn't exist for many years of her childhood). There has been no suggestion that she will have use of the (fantasy) holiday home, for example.

It is clear that they're financially clueless. Hence there is no realistic expectation that OP will be supported with rent, nor any that there will be anything left for her to inherit.

Fine be pedantic, but this is a family situation, it is blood relations not even just marital bond. People opinions seems totally without any sense of give and take. We are not dealing with the man in the street.

I wasn't being the slightest bit pedantic. What a very odd word to use.

Family does not equal good, kind or having each others' best interests at heart. (If only it did, the relationships board here would be half empty).

I do not consider them clueless, what ever the relations they made the effort to provide the funds.Only for the son and daughter benefit at the end of the day. Tax planning is not a perfect science. Re-adjustments should be possible within the family who obviously have the childrens interests at heart when they have gone.

You can read it as you will. This family appears basically good. The parents obviously had their children's interest in mind. Otherwise this situation would never have developed and the tax man would be the beneficiary.

You know them well, do you?

Their financial ineptitude has been spelt out clearly by pp.

Following your ebbing, flowing mutual support scenario, in this case, the rich son is in a position to buy the holiday house for them (see pp). Why go after the struggling daughter?

One substantial gift of money does not equal 'good family' or good person. That's the only 'good' thing we knwo about them. But in what context? I don't know - it isn't set out here. How would you know?

The family appears basically good??
Are you on glue??
Or do you live in a parallel universe where good has an entirely different meaning?

They are not being made homeless. Within the financial constraints it seems logical. Of course the parents could take out a equity loan on their own home. This makes it a total 'no no' for the chidrens inheritance. Equity release is a last resort and does short term good but long term 'bad' for any other relatives.

The ebb and flow mutual support scenario sounds clannish and unhealthily enmeshed

They are being made to sacrifice a secure affordable home for an insecure unaffordable situation, it might not be technically exactly equivalent to be made homeless but it's certainly involves being made considerably worse off

Where does it say she is struggling. She is getting help with the rental, no more mortgage payments, presumably a profit on her house, and a free holiday home.

Well, OP isn't being made to do anything. She's being asked for a very substantial favour. Her parents are framing this as the favour being equivalent to a generous gift they gave her, many years ago.

It isn't, because their situation then and hers now are not equivalent. The affordability and implications of giving such a gift are completely different.

What nice person would ask for the return of a gift? You'd have to have no dignity at all.

She isn't getting any of that, her parents might have offered it but they are flaky and unreliable, financially irresponsible, people who give you a gift and then ask for it back are not people that you can trust to keep their word

If that's all you can surmise from it why comment?

I think the OP's parents must have found this thread

Huh?

You're claiming to know things that OP hasn't stated and that are plainly not facts, coastey. Evidence please.

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