Parents want inheritance back

[NeededtoNC]

Ten years ago, my parents decided to gift me and my brother 100k each as early inheritance within the 7 year period.

With that I bought a house (with a mortgage). Still have 15 years left on the mortgage.

Now our parents want the inheritance back because they have decided they want to buy a summer home abroad.

DB is in a position to be able to as he’s well off.
However I am not and I’m barely able to keep up with the mortgage payments as it is.

In order to give back the money I’d need to sell. My parents are aware of this and have said that if I need help to pay rent, they’ll give it to me. But they want the lump sum in order to buy their holiday home.

AIBU to not give it to them?

How awful. Poor you, OP.

I suggest you tell them you are not in a position to give them any money.

Suggest they buy somewhere with your brother footing a mortgage if need be.

Accept you may be “cut out”.

Get counselling.

I ahare the concern of a previous poster that this story is prime material for lazy low-quality journalism by the gutter press - such as the Daily Mail or The Sun.

Much as I would love to hear back from you OP I’d be careful about posting more details.

This sounds awful for you. I don't understand a parent who would see their child sell their home to fund a holiday home.
At the end of the day it was a gift (blooming 10years ago ) and the money had gone, as upsetting as it is for them, they just need to accept that and hopefully not fall out.
Family is so important but they are definitely being unreasonable. 💐💐💐

Fucking hell some of these posts 😧

Cannot believe the nerve of these baby boomers evicting their children from their homes so they can top us their wealth. It’s beyond my comprehension.

I'm no tax expert, just what I've gleaned from the media, like most folk I guess, but if the gift was a (perfectly legitimate) move to avoid inheritance tax, doesn't that mean that clawing it back would constitute some sort of tax-dodging?
I don't know how tight your finances are, apart from the facts that you are paying off a mortgage, and are not as well off as your brother, but could you afford to ask for professional, impartial advice from a disinterested party, who has expertise in tax law?
If you could advise your parents, in tones of filial concern, that they are setting themselves up for a fraud conviction and you would hate to see that happen, you might bring some common sense to the discussion.

This is going to be tough for you but I feel the right thing is to say something along the lines of “I’m not prepared to make myself homeless so I can return a ‘gift’ to you that will effectively make me homeless. I’m really sorry, but you gave me the cash and it’s been spent”
Is incredibly unreasonable of them to expect a gift to be returned, especially after ten years.
Yanbu.

Tell them to get lost

Say no.
Renting is just paying someone's mortgage.
If they want a holiday home,could they not rent out their home and use the rental money to rent somewhere abroad?they might not even enjoy it,the idea of living abroad is not the same in reality.
They could go out there then six month's later change their minds and it will all have been for nothing.
Suggest the above to them,telling them you are not in a position to repay them and you are not selling up.
Do not give in OP,fight your corner,you are not in the wrong here.

Or just

“I’m not prepared to make myself homeless so I can give you £100,000 for a second home”

I wouldn’t mention gifts or what they have given.

That money is yours and you don’t want to give away your money because you don’t have it and you don’t believe them when they say they will help.

Why don’t they rent a holiday home if they are expecting you to go into rented for their needs.

Nope, nope, nope and nope. In that order.

It’s all very well them saying they’ll pay your rent (AFTER you’ve sold your home and HAD to rent instead - what kind of parent asks that of a child?!) but what happens when they decide they want or ‘need’ that money for something they want? Then you’re up a creek without a paddle - no owned home and no rent being covered.

And it’s bollocks that they can’t get a mortgage - my parents (jointly) got a mortgage despite both being retired. AFAIK its secured against their house which they own outright.

Bookworm4 he didn’t want to fall out with them. There was a lot of emotional blackmail, “your poor brother will be on the street etc”.

I think they were foolish to give it you and DB in the first place. Inheritances occur at death and not during life.

I dont know if its been mentioned, as only read through first few payments, but if parents are willing to fund your rent through their rent, then cannot DB, who is obviously wealthier, take out the mortgage for them for the holiday home. In fact it would be better financially if he were the owner. Then they could pay that rental money to him, whilst he increases his asset and they have less liability for care home fees etc.

first few pages that should be

Even if (IF!) You sell your house, there may not be enough equity to pay them back in full. Aside from that, they're utter bastards. They want to leave you and your family without any security and home....so they can have a holiday home!?!? And I thought I'd heard it all

"Sorry mum, dad, we don't have 100k to give you". Simple.

They sound fickle and I have NO doubt that they'll rescind their offer to 'pay your rent' at the earliest opportunity possible, leaving you up shit creek. THEY made poor investment choices, not you. That's why they're now asking for money back. They made their bed and all that.

Oh, and to add, who will be dealing with their old age care etc if and when the time comes? Because a bloody summer house abroad won't solve that problem will it?

Also, based on their poor judgement in the past, how do you know that they wouldn't buy a crappy shack that won't return the investment, when the time comes to sell it?

I'm with the PP who say you can easily buy a holiday home abroad for £100K.

I know nothing about the ins and outs of avoiding inheritance tax but it does seem to me that it's dodgy in some way. As it's such a large amount that you would have to refund (should you opt to sell your home to refund your parents), I'm sure the bank would 'report' it as an anti money-laundering protocol, so yes, you/your parents could then get into trouble.

What type of sensible adults would do such a thing. You either gift or you don't, particularly when it's a large amount of money involved. Do they have form for being unreliable, OP?

Unless they're planning on living abroad for months, do they really need a holiday home? Surely a short term holiday rental would suffice each year? The 100k they've got back would fund holidays for many years.

There is no way I'd sell my home and rent if it was avoidable, I'd happily risk the fallout for my own security.

"My home of ten years is the only security I have. I'm sorry, but it's really not fair of you to ask me to give it up, especially since I have been paying the mortgage all this time. Legally you are also putting me in a very difficult position, as we signed (x document) to say you would have no recourse to this money in the future.
I'm not trying to be difficult, but the future scares me without the security of my home. I'm sure you can understand that"

Good idea by NettleTea

i.e., The brother should take out the mortgage on the holiday home, the parents pay the mortgage down and brother inherits the home when they die.

If they don't want to rent, that is.

I'm not supporting the parents at all but do we know where abroad they want this holiday home? Just a generic place or do they want to be somewhere specific? Pp are saying you can get a holiday home abroad for 100k but of course not all abroad is the same price!

Nevertheless, they are BVU.

Oh op. I can't add to the already awesome advice you have here. I just wanted to say I'm sorry

You have a shit family. I honestly can't imagine anyone in my family treating each other like this and it makes me so sad this is what you have to deal with.

I would also say no. It was a gift with no ties. You would make yourself homeless. Any sane parent wouldn't even consider asking this. If you lose the relationship would you really miss it? Do they make you happy in any way?

I don't know how they can have the gall to ask, tbh.

True, you have benefited from the gift, but no one should give an early inheritance unless they ave kept ring-fenced everything they need for their own future.

It isn't your fault they made a bad / unfortunate investment.

I would say to them that much as you would like to help, you cannot because you accepted the gift in good faith and to return it now would set you back to a step worse than you would have been in, because you will have lost 10 years investment etc, and you cannot put your family / children at risk of the insecurity of renting at this stage. Say how grateful you are that they did this, but you are not in a position to return the money to them, or to be as generous in a reciprocal way.

Say that you never want to be a in a a position where you look to the date of their death as a way to benefit or gain security.

Emphasise the financial constraints you find yourself in. (not many of us could pull £100k out of our houses and give it back to our parents - I couldn't!)

I would suggest some of the other solutions - like a mortgage or loan in your DB's name.

They have put yu in a horrible position.

No one except them would think this reasonable.

Or, the brother buys the holiday home for £200k, they can live in it, then when they aren't using it he can sell it or use it as he wishes.

Who makes their child homeless to buy a holiday home?