To feel envious of people that can afford holidays?

[Ella1980]

I'm a full-time TA and my fiancé works in social care ft. Just feel so sad that we can't afford to take the kids away. Ex earns £105k+ pa so at least they'll get a holiday with him. Anybody else in a similar position? It just feels so unfair but I feel selfish for feeling jealous of not getting a break with the family 😢

Yep! Feel like people are constantly talking about holidays at work. Especially the younger couples with no kids, leaving at home etc.

Is there a hobby you could monetise to help you save a bit for a holiday? It would mean a bit more coming in and you wouldn't have to suffer with ill health.

If you’re a teacher, teach overseas. Kids will have a fantastic lifestyle and free private ed and you will get flights, accommodation and utility bills paid whilst being able to save...

Is there someone you can go and stay with? House sitting?
Camping or staying in a hostel?

Can you do a cheap holiday?

We get less than 28k a year joint and we manage. We shop about. We managed isle of Skye, Rome, Cornwall last year all under 200 for the week.

My job as a SEN TA is very poorly paid but I love it. I left a £25 ph teaching role for a £9 ph one in an Alternative Provision. I have been hit and kicked, I've been spat at, I've been bitten. I've been called a c@#t more times than you can imagine. Primary age kids btw. Now in mainstream and I am keeping an awesome child in ft education that otherwise would have been excluded. I HATED teaching, I was working on average 10 hours a day. I love my job now with an absolute passion. Yes, I'm a qualified teacher but for once I'm making a difference. I don't feel anxious 24/7. I don't want to go back to a job that isn't about the children, just about levels and paperwork. I just wish the pay meant I could get my hair cut, enjoy an evening out or have a holiday with my own family.

@LurksNoLonger I have to share care with my ex.

Can you do some exam marking next year to pay for a holiday? I earn around £1500 after tax for doing 4 weeks of marking which I fit in during evenings and weekends around my teaching job and 2 kids.

@WhenZogateSuperworm Sounds great! Can primary teachers do this? How do I apply?

Is there a reason you havent responded to the many posters who have suggested tutoring/marking?

I dont think you can say your children dont like time at their dads and in the next breath say they should live there fulltime. They would obviously miss you...

@FilthyforFirthThey hate it, but he's loaded.

"am angry that he doesn't have to pay anything in the way of maintenence, yes. I gave up everything to have the kids. Including my career."
But he does really because he pays for the costs of looking about the DC for 50% of the time and you pay for them for the other 50%. It is absolutely fair that you both contribute to looking after your DC. The fact that he's on £105k doesn't really come into it. It's great that he wants to be as involved in their lives as you. Plenty of men aren't.

Don't bemoan your ex being on a great salary. He must have worked hard for it. He'll take the DC on lovely holidays and probably be able to contribute when they are older and go to uni or help them onto the housing ladder.

You say you gave up your career but you also say you have up your job because of the effect on your MH. Which is it? That probably would have happened whether you were married to your ex or to your current fiance. Sounds like it wasn't the job for you.

Just done a quick Ryanair and Booking.com search. Don't know where you live but eg Manchester to Almeria Sun to Thu in Oct half term was £238 return for 4 adults. A two bed apartment in Apartmentos Torrelaguna on the coast is £161. So £400 for 4 people in total. You'd need transport to and from the airport on top but other than that you'd be eating at home anyway...

@Ella1980 I would assume your can mark SATS papers as a qualified primary teacher.

www.gov.uk/guidance/key-stage-2-tests-how-to-become-a-marker#apply-to-be-a-marker

This says it will be updated in October 2019 for next years marking.

You could try other exam boards for GCSE marking but without a subject degree and experience of teaching at that level I doubt you would be offered anything.

But do I pay for half of the rent? Half of the school uniform? Half of the bills? He doesn't spend any time with them, he's working 24/7!

Could you shave £10 a week off your food or utilities or travel expenses each week. That would give you £500 at the end of the year to spend on 7 night camping holiday or 4 nights in a nice hotel someone on the coast.

I earn less than you, I'm a single parent, no benefits or maintenance but I scrimp and scrape, don't buy clothes or go out so we can afford an annual holiday. Sometimes we can afford to go abroad, sometimes we stay in this country, but we go every year.

I do know how it feels, because DD has a friend who goes abroad 6 times a year, she's been all over the world. Her parents aren't rich, but they have a lot more than me and spend it all on travel. I wouldn't like to be away that much, but I often think DD thinks she's missing out.

Op, as an SEN TA you get school holidays and time with your dc throughout those holidays, even if it's at home doing free stuff.

I love my job and will spend 2.5weeks on holiday with dc abroad but the rest of the holidays they'll spend with family members as I head to work feeling horrendous guilt.

As a parent we all seem to wish we could do more. You're giving your dc time and love that their df is not!

@whiteroseredrose Aw thanks. We can't take them abroad though 😣

If you and your partner won’t get a better paying job and refuse to take a part time second job then why are you moaning?
There are things you can do that will allow you to have money for a holiday but you refuse to do them. It’s madness.

I'm 36 last holiday I had I was 18 🤨

@aPengTing I feel like my ex should be paying maintenance of some description as he is on £105k+ pa?

So many people on here are obviously loaded and/or think "getting a better paid job" is soooooo easy!!!

It's only a holiday. It's just one way of spending time. But it is obviously getting to you.

Ignore your ex- he's irrelevant

Your current partner is earning very little but he has no kids and presumably doesn't have either your earning potential or the extra time to fill. Could you look for something in your non kids weeks?

I feel like my ex should be paying maintenance of some description as he is on £105k+ pa?

But he won’t and doesn’t have to.

So your options if you want a holiday are for one of you to find a better paying job or take on extra work.

At the moment you are actually choosing not to be able to afford a holiday.

I think the TA’s that work with SEN children are amazing so be proud of your job it’s not an easy one.

Not sure the age of your children but are they involved in scouts /guiding/cadets? I do admin for the eldest dds cub pack and they need a female leader on camp so I’m away with them for the weekend and can take middle dd with us. DS is 3 so therefore staying home with dh.

They are always after leaders/helpers and could mean you get to go and do awesome exciting stuff with your children for not very much money.

We are in a similar position - I'm a TA also, Dh works in retail earning minimum wage. We rent in the SE. So far this year we have had 4 nights in Wales, then in the summer we have 3 nights camping booked, a 5 night uk city break, and then later in the year 4 nights in Spain.
Mostly through the sun 9.50 holidays. Probably spent a max of 1.5k on 4 breaks for 6 of us.
Have you looked at the sun holidays? It's best to book in January for the year so maybe put away a little now so you can go away next year. It's nothing fancy but the kids love it