To feel envious of people that can afford holidays?

[Ella1980]

I'm a full-time TA and my fiancé works in social care ft. Just feel so sad that we can't afford to take the kids away. Ex earns £105k+ pa so at least they'll get a holiday with him. Anybody else in a similar position? It just feels so unfair but I feel selfish for feeling jealous of not getting a break with the family 😢

@Bignicetree I will never forgive an abuser. Would you say the same re 50:50 being best if he'd have hit me? It is not the best for the kids. But I know I will be told I am wrong to thing this so I'll just leave it there.

Ella you said you were thinking of giving your ex full custody, but now you don’t think he should have 50% custody?
You seem very confused about what you want.

Because he carries on the abuse towards me! If he had them ft he'd be out of my life for good.

But surely you wouldn’t want your children to be somewhere 100% of the time, when you’re worried about tour ex’s behaviour.
I can’t believe you’d be that self absorbed.

You suggest how I get more custody then. The courts don't care about abuse ubless it is physical. Fact.

Was 50:50 custody a mutual decision or a court enforced one?

Are you friends with your ExH now or still conflicted in your communication?

Do you want your DC 100% with you or 100% with ExH so he's out of your hair?

It's very confusing when you give directly opposing information, OP.

You need to take responsibility for your life. You’ve been given lots of good advice.

Do you have evidence of the abuse? Keep any emails texts in which he is abusive, a diary of when he is abusive on the phone or in person and can you not bring this to court?

Are you going to address the fact that tons of people came here to give you heartfelt advice on how to get a holiday for you and your kids, when you’d already had one?

But if you had then full time he would still never contact so he wouldn't be out of your life.

He would still 'have' contact, I meant.

Christ your poor kids. You have savings you're keeping for a deposit, but can't pay for therapy or get yourself a lawyer to protect them from their dad who they're unhappy with. That's priorities right there. I have zero sympathy.

You don't seem to want to answer anything here except to say something else you feel sorry for yourself about.
Where is the concern for your kids? If my kids were spending half their lives with an abusive man I'd be using every last penny to fight it. But you're just complaining you can't have another holiday.
Poor wee buggers.

@baconsandwichandanegg my lovely I have been to court about ten times now. Submitted a 6 pg doc re abuse to Cafcass. Told by a WPC she couldn't do anything unless I "show her bruises". I have fought and fought and fought. Son went to talking therapy but won't speak out as his father has told him not to say anything or son will "end up in a nuthouse."

Unless it is physical nobody cares!!!!

But you just said you represented yourself?

And will continue to do so the next time he takes you to court.

How can your ex stop you taking them abroad? If it's only for a week and it's in "your" time with them, i don't think there's anything he can do, though please do correct me if I am wrong!

You’re talking tripe OP. Bow out...

What am I taking tripe about? The courts don't care about the mental abuse. How can I make it any clearer?

@lrh3891 Ex has flying phobia and has put this on onto eldest. Eldest now convinced he will crash if goes on a plane. Terrified.

Because he carries on the abuse towards me! If he had them ft he'd be out of my life for good.. Fuck it really is 'poor me, poor me' as pp said. So he's an abusive shit but you'll let him have the kids if it makes your life better?

You clearly have never suffered ongoing emotional abuse. It's because I have the kids 50% that the abuse continues.

Is this thread still going on

ODFO Ella you have no idea what l or anyone else has been through, how bloody self centered are you?!