To feel envious of people that can afford holidays?

[Ella1980]

I'm a full-time TA and my fiancé works in social care ft. Just feel so sad that we can't afford to take the kids away. Ex earns £105k+ pa so at least they'll get a holiday with him. Anybody else in a similar position? It just feels so unfair but I feel selfish for feeling jealous of not getting a break with the family 😢

The "poor me" comment. Uncalled for.

The "poor me" comment. Uncalled for.

Your lies were uncalled for.

Oh please.

Don't plead poverty when you have thousands in the bank.

If your DC mean that much to you, surely you get more pleasure out of spending simple quality time with them than whether you can take them to Disneyland. Which you could.

Stop obsessing over your ex. Move on with your life.

Otherwise that chip on your shoulder will start getting deeper, and everything good in your life will start to fall into it.

In an earlier post you suggested their Dad should have full custody. Your thread is bizarre and very contradictory. You’ve had loads of really good advice but it seems that you don’t want to make any changes.

OP is a liar and pig ignorant!

Wow. This thread is still going. How you can try and argue the toss about a holiday when you have literally thousands in the bank,it's just amazing

She’s already had a holiday, she just didn’t like it.

Just stop now - this is insane.

My ex has my son full time, and I'm a long term renter. I can't afford a holiday and have MH problems and I still think you're wallowing in a pit of despair. At some point you need to make a choice to get out of it, however hard that is.

Can you put a little away a month and save over time? That's what we do.

Lots of holiday websites will also let you book for a deposit and pay monthly by direct debit until the balance is paid. Try that?

Yes I get jealous too. Especially the neighbors that move in and get the whole house done top to bottom within a matter of weeks. We've been here 12 and hardly done much.

Op you posted that a holiday doesn't have to cost a lot to be awesome on a thread in March.... Take your own advice.

See if you'd started a thread saying me and partner are saving hard for a house deposit and can't take kids on holiday, you'd have had more sympathy.

You also said you didn't get a penny from your ex yet you have substantial savings. So in a way you did get money?

Well don’t I feel silly offering lots of advice on how to have a cheap holiday, when you’ve already had one. Thanks for the waste of time, yeah.

I feel the same sissy

I don't see my daughter at all 5 days out of 7. Neither do many working parents.

Good grief, if you can afford to go camping, by definition you can afford a holiday.

The only holidays I got as a kid were visiting my grandparents in another county, so not even as expensive as camping (grandparents fed us for free), but they still were holidays.

I wish she’d said that on page 1.

“I’ve had a holiday and didn’t like it, I’m envious and want a better one like ex can afford to provide but it’s all theoretical anyway because DS won’t fly. AIBU”

The op will probably get this thread zapped cos it's not gone the way she wanted.
It's really annoyed me and I need to get off mn.

ssd - me too.

Yes OP your ex is Voldemort personified for doing exactly what you are doing 50% child care- apparently CB claiming (although how he gets it when he's over the threshold..) and not paying you maintenance. He should absolutely pay you spousal maintenance for when the children are with you. But how bloody dare you whinge and moan about this like no-one understands you or and you have it the worst. I'll go for days only seeing DC for an hour or so after work- when DH was serving he could be deployed for months. Again yes that's our choices to choose to work for NHS/military but there was never this 'i'm owed it, with no bloody effort of mine out with my choices!'

And breathe!

I don't doubt the OP really feels disadvantaged, or that her ex has treated her badly. And her situation does feel unfair to her, as she hasn't got perspective as such. A lot of the advice on this thread has been brilliant, great tips!

But almost every thread/post from OP mentions money, her ex, the abuse, - OP I really think you need help to move on from this mindset.

And your many threads about your current partner don't make for good reading. If it's all true, he is not a good guy and you're heading toward harder times still. Did you ever get part of the 25% deposit money back from him?

I know you probably want to give your kids a bigger home and nicer holidays (anyone would), but just being there as their mum is enough for them. Get some help for yourself. Self pity is not a positive trait; it won't get you anywhere.

Well yes, there is also the issue that the current partner seems to be an utter waste of space as well. So no lessons learned there either.

Ella I have 50:50 with my ex . Have done for years

3 children . Split with their dad when kids were still in primary school.

Not enforced but because it seems a fair arrangement FOR THE CHILDREN
No matter what me and ex had been through ( a lot of shit if you don’t mind ) as a couple, we both had equal rights to the kids and vice versa
We made it work and are now good friends and ha e forgiven each other for all the shit.
I hope you can do this too

I think you're holding quite a bit of resentment against your current partner, you keep reiterating his poor salary and asked a few times earlier on in the thread whether he should be working more. Then you blame a lot on your ex. I think it's time you take long hard look at yourself, have think about what you really want and take action. Whether that's reflecting on the choices you've made and realising it's ultimately giving the lifestyle you want with your children, or looking at some of the great advice on this thread as to how you can obtain the other things like holidays. But you need to stop blaming other people and look to yourself. Well done on getting away from an unhappy relationship, but don't stop there!