To feel envious of people that can afford holidays?

[Ella1980]

I'm a full-time TA and my fiancé works in social care ft. Just feel so sad that we can't afford to take the kids away. Ex earns £105k+ pa so at least they'll get a holiday with him. Anybody else in a similar position? It just feels so unfair but I feel selfish for feeling jealous of not getting a break with the family 😢

Ella, the bitterness you are clearly suffering from will end up eating you inside if you don't reassess your life.

I love my job now with an absolute passion
This is what you wrote. Do you realise how massively fortunate you are to be in this position? That many people are desperate for holidays because they feel sick at the prospect of going to the lir job that they hare every day? You could have stayed in the job that you left you stressed and overworked. If you had, you'd be going on nice holidays, just like those many people who have chosen to stay in stressful jobs. You just can't have it all.

A number of things you claim also doesn't ring right. You say you claim CB for one child. Therefore you can claim maintenance for that child for 3 or 4 night a week. Similarly you ex could do the same for the other child.

As for feeling bitter that your ex can take the kids to nice holidays, we'll he can't can he since your eldest won't fly. I find odd to believe that a father who would want to take his kids on nice holidays would tell them that they'll die of they get on a plane. Sounds quite self defeating.

Enjoy all those days you wake up happy to go to work. Some people can't afford to go on holiday AND hate their job.

Hang on - I remember the camping thread! So you can afford a holiday and have had one this year? More than I've managed so far!

Eh what, significant savings so just use some of those for a holiday

We had a few days camping, it was rough in a tiny tent but yes we gave it a go. If I had "significant savings" why would we be renting at a cost of £900 pm and have cancelled our wedding etc?!!

I know I keep saying it but no maintenance when 50:50.

You said on an earlier thread that you had significant savings.

You are aware posters can read your previous threads?

I have an amount of money from marital house ex had to pay upon divorce. Nowhere near enough to get on property ladder. I've had to put it away for deposit but no chance of mortgage due to work cicumstances. Saw mortgage advisor who said only option to rent for now hence why we are. Rent extortionate.

I hope your fiance isn't the same fiance you talk about in this thread, OP. He sounds very bad for your mental health.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3566748-Heart-thumping-Im-so-mad

Is this a "gang up on op" thread? Knocking a person when they're low? Thank you so much but I have enough of that in my life as it is.

You've made this thread and lied, presumably to elicit sympathy from people, many of whom don't have had a holiday this year like you, or substantial savings like you. Stop the "woe is me" act.

You can afford a holiday. You've just made other choices about what to do with your money, and with your life. Everybody makes choices.

We’re not ganging up on you. Just trying to understand why you don’t book a holiday with your savings if you want one so bad?

Why on earth would I be renting at a cost of £900 pm if I had substantial savings?!!

OP the fact is you've neglected to mention really important details like having savings (which lots of people don't have).

You also have a job you love (which lots of people don't have) and a great many other positives in your life.

From that other thread, it does sound like your fiance isn't the most supportive or kind person to choose for a husband and I worry you've substituted one abusive relationship for another.

But. Focusing on the negatives and ignoring what good things you do have makes it seem as though you're bitter and attention seeking, and MN has never been, nor is never going be, an echo-chamber of self-pity. But there's lots of support if you want to be honest and open with us as well as yourself.

Those savings are for a home of our own one day!!

You're the one who said you had substantial savings, OP! Or were you mistaken on your previous thread.

Either way, you've prioritised an easy working life over holidays. That's life. Get used to it.

Most people don't have any savings - and no holidays. Your attitude makes me feel a bit sick, TBH.

Just stop lying ffs

No, so I can buy a house one day.

I'm sorry but very rarely can you have everything in life. You can't have a job you love that's also super ethical, money, 2 kids, a house deposit and nice holidays.

Most people who go abroad 5 times a year work in corporate jobs that they hate and the holidays are their only break from the boredom (me). Or they don't have kids, or a mortgage.

You love your job which doesn't pay well. If you want holidays, the only way is to earn more money. For that you'll either have to change jobs, do something more stressful that you think is ethical (teaching), do something you think is unethical (private school) or something better paying that might be dull/unfulfilling (office).

But you can't moan that you don't have everything.

Anybody else gone through enforced 50:50 so they understand a bit better re implications?

Get over yourself. This is about your resentment of your ex. The holiday is just a vehicle for your complaint.

You've lost my sympathy. If you can't afford a holiday and want to have a moan, fine, those of us skint and in the same boat get it.
But then to read you have substantial savings.... Well my sympathy has run out.

I'm not sure what the point of this thread was, as there's loads of good suggestions on how to get more money but they've all been shut down.

If it's just to complain, then it's not really the place, MN is harsh and you only get sympathy here if someone died.