To feel envious of people that can afford holidays?

[Ella1980]

I'm a full-time TA and my fiancé works in social care ft. Just feel so sad that we can't afford to take the kids away. Ex earns £105k+ pa so at least they'll get a holiday with him. Anybody else in a similar position? It just feels so unfair but I feel selfish for feeling jealous of not getting a break with the family 😢

@sweetkitty

You know my children have been lucky enough to have been to Spain a fair few times and France. They are going to the US this year and the next and you know what they talk about ........ going back to Centerparcs or a few days in a camping pod with their friends. Typical children do not care about big expensive holidays they just love time with their family

Why is everyone saying what kids want? She might want some sunshine for herself and her own well-being!

I had about a 5 year period where money was really tight, and for our holiday we went camping. It still costs something, but I was able to save up to be able to do that. The kids and I still talk about how great all those camping trips were.

It may be worth looking into being assessed as a short term respite foster carer, it's called family link in my area. Regular and routine respite care you could specialise in sen which is much needed. Could do weekends you children are with their father to reduce impact on your time with them.

Hi OP,

Of course YANBU to feel sad about this!! I think the longest that I went without a holiday was 4 years and it sucked! It must feel even worse that your ex can afford to take your own kids on holiday.

I'm currently on a low income but hoping to go back to University and looking into my career options. I was just wondering whether you'd ever considered going back to University to complete a masters and looking into other career options? You can get a loan for £10,000 for a masters or £25,700 for a doctorate and could study part-time for the former if you worked a T.A. job for fewer hours each week.

However it does like you enjoy your meaningful job so maybe that's not the way to go! Maybe instead see if there's any possibility of putting £5-10 away each week (maybe cutting out an expensive food or something) so that you can afford a UK-based holiday next year or in 2021.

I don't know where to start with this tbh. Your partner has no children and is happy in his job and lifestyle presumably. You work term time only for a low wage and only have the kids half the time. You have massive potential to earn more. But you think your partner should despite not having the same desires or commitments as you?

You want a holiday, but don't want to fly anyway as son won't.

Essentially you just want us to all say that your ex is an arsehole and should give you more money? I mean, he may well be an arsehole, but that is unrelated.

redcupbluecup Tue 25-Jun-19 19:28:15
The oddest thing about this thread is the poster who is boasting about the number if holidays she goes on due to all the benefits. It's a ridiculous amount of money to be recieving even with disabled children. Absolute madness. And the "we deserve them" comment makes you sound like a twat.

Hmm whilst her thread came across as a little odd and I'm not really sure why she felt the need to boast about her holidays, you are vastly underestimating the impact of caring for very unwell relatives 24/7. It is absolutely exhausting and soul destroying so I'm glad she gets lots of holidays and the money her family receives is money well spent by the government to allow them to have some sort of quality of life.

I’m a teacher and my husband is a member of the armed forces, decent rank too. 1 mortgage, 2 cars, 2 kids. Given we can only take holidays during school holidays, we can’t afford to holiday abroad. We have a big camping set up that has taken a few years to amass. Treating ourselves to a static caravan in Norfolk this summer but it’s usually camping for us and yes, that is a holiday for the family!

Did someone write

There's no such thing as can't afford..

Tory 100%

It’s hard to want something and hear about others having it when you don’t. We are all wistful for things but a holiday as a physical break is different to anything else. I hope your situation improves. Could you gently ask your sister to be more tactful ? X

Sorry - ex not sister! Don’t know why I read it wrong !

Supply teaching is great money and a lot less stress. Why not just try a day? Also teaching in private schools is often more money and always longer holidays.
If you really won’t teach again the have you considered a home -swap holiday? Can be in UK or abroad and you just pay for travel. There are some great homeswap sites and you can do beach, city, farm, whatever.

You don't have to fly to go abroad. Eurostar or drive to France/Belgium/Netherlands. There are lots of good campsites, particuarly in Belgium that would be great for a family holiday.

My children are 19, 18, 16 and 6 - holidays had always been days out, or visiting family. We are going on out firstly proper holiday this August to Rome for 8 days. Kids are very excited, I'm nervous !!

Another option to add to those already suggested - hotel stay with entry to 3 attractions.
www.stayplayexplore.co.uk/

As already said, most kids don't judge holidays by what they cost - I know my son preferred our Sun £9.50 breaks to some of the more expensive foreign holidays we've done! You're envious of people who can afford holidays but I bet there are people envious of you having all summer with your kids while they have to work (I know I am). Do lots of cheap or free days out, go on picnics, give them a summer to remember!

It's all about expectation v budget. If you want a 5* all inclusive on a budget it won't happen but even when my husband was a full time student and I worked part time we and our 4 kids had 2 holidays a year. A week in a caravan and a camping trip. They don't cost anywhere near what a package holiday would and we've loved every one of them. Try something new, it might surprise you how much you enjoy it

I think a cheap holiday is doable. To justify that comment, I'm a long term single mum of two teenagers and several animals. I work full time on £30K (equivalent to two parents in low paid jobs I reckon) and take on extra freelance jobs when I can (not v well paid). I get £150 a month maintenance for the kids off my ex and pay £600 each month for my mortgage then all other bills obvs (dual fuel is a killer!) I shop very well at Aldi and am happy with quite a demanding job and great friends, the kids have everything they need and are ace company (though I say so myself) and we have one holiday a year, sometimes abroad, plus whatever school trips I can afford. It's hard work, got a bit of an overdraft but it's all manageable. Am I missing something?

No advice OP but YANBU. It’s very frustrating when you work hard in generally underpaid work and can’t afford a holiday. Try saving for cheaper fun days out instead. Sometimes they can be even more fun like a day at the beach with a picnic, money for the arcades, ice cream and fish and chips in the evening. Can be more rewarding sometimes.

Realise I said no advice then gave some. Haha.

*Also try holidays in the UK. Most kids don't care about hot weather etc. Lots of kids love the beach, whatever the weather and a lot of places have free\cheap entry castles or museums.

Sounds a bit shit. The OP wants a proper sunshine holiday.*

I may have missed something but I thought OP was sad because she couldn't ANY type of holiday. We've had some great UK holidays, some better than the "proper sunshine holidays" we've been on.

After 12 months from the court order, you can apply to CMS. If you receive the child benefit, they say you are parent with care or whatever term they use now, so you can get CMS for the kids

I'm totally with you on this OP! My DH goes out the house at 6:30 am and (traffic permitting) comes back at 7:30pm. I am a stay at home mum of 3 and its very looong week for both of us!
I want nothing more than for us all to go somewhere all inclusive and spend quality time in the sun.
Our dear friends (no children) go away on mini city breaks 2-3 times a year. Not to mention the gorgeous cruise they went on last year for their 30th's. Of course I'm happy for them - they have no children so why not just enjoy being married and having fun.
My DH works soo hard and he deserves a proper break; sadly it's not in the cards for us right now.
I think it's not so much jealousy as it is a longing to be together with no distractions and no work.

@1sttimemama1986 I would love, love, love to be a foster carer! My fiancé would too. Not for any extra income (although it would help) but because I'd just bloody love it! Especially SEN. With 15 years' teaching experience (many of those with high need SEN) I'd be pretty good I think. But sadly it's not an option as we don't have a spare bedroom 😢

Re the poster and CMS...it is simply the case that as ex has kids 50:50 no maintenance is payable. Even if he was a millionaire it would literally make no difference.

If you apply for a Tesco VISA card and put everything on it, domestic fuel included and also shop at Tesco’s, it gives you Clubcard points and they can be tripled when you claim them for a variety of offers including holidays and travel.

It's already been suggested but I don't know that you saw it, but do some reading on matched betting. It's a completely risk free way of earning hundreds of pounds for a few hours work a week.
Check out the website Team Profit to start with, you'll have enough for a holiday in a few months, guaranteed.

@Hernameislola I get no maintenance and our rent is £900 pm. We can't move. Rent before that was £700 for a damp and mouldy two bed which wasn't fair on any of us. If our rent was £600 and I got maintenance we'd def be able to afford a holiday 😊