To feel envious of people that can afford holidays?

[Ella1980]

I'm a full-time TA and my fiancé works in social care ft. Just feel so sad that we can't afford to take the kids away. Ex earns £105k+ pa so at least they'll get a holiday with him. Anybody else in a similar position? It just feels so unfair but I feel selfish for feeling jealous of not getting a break with the family 😢

@Banana1984 Thank you re the reselling idea. I don't have much to sell but I did get a £5 for a kiddy stool thing on a selling page. All of my furniture was given to me second hand by an awesome church group when I left the family home so it's still in use. We don't have wardrobes but hanging rails do the job. My clothes are mostly second hand anyway so not sure I'd get much for them?

Camping?
Best holidays we ever had

I hear you OP, I'm a nurse and my dp is a butcher, we can't afford holidays either. We have been abroad 3 times in the 8 years we've been together. This year its short breaks away close to home with our dd. If we can afford it. 😭

We can't afford a holiday either. Both FT and any spare is put into DIY. On that note, lived in our house 3 years and have spent about 1k on it max! It sucks when money is tight. So many people don't "get" it, it's nice to see some understanding on here as holz are so easy to pay for for some people.

I'm interested as to how an allotment can save £3k per year unless you are going to sell the produce? That's £58 a week and we certainly don't spend that much on vegetables.

Have a look at European center parcs last week August. European schools have gone back and although the Chunnel isn't cheap then, the parcs are. A fraction of UK prices

Or something like canvas holidays in France?

Can go quite cheaply to mainland Europe end August from experience.

I haven't had a holiday since I was 15... Yes, FIFTEEN!

I've been abroad, on work trips. They were definitely not jollies, as was physical work. I've had days out.

A few years ago we went to Wales for 2 days, but that was for my nephew's wedding. It didn't feel a holiday, as the place was a shit hole, with no phone signal n no WiFi. We got there late Friday, just in time for evening meal, wedding next day, home on long journey Sunday. So not a relaxing holiday.

Now we are both unable to work through various reasons n health issues (and mental health 🤪), so our chance now to have a holiday is totally gone.

Priorities are the bills n bedroom tax! We do have days out now n again, even if locally using our free bus pass.

I understand how hard it is to those you knew prosper and do things like holiday, but if you keep on to that you'll miss the little things. Just do day trips, even overnight. Sleep in the car, get a tent even, camping is so cheap... We don't drive, and couldn't carry a tent n rucksack, even if we wanted to.

My childhood BF had a week when both parents stopped working and the family had a week of day trips together to the seaside and other places. Sometimes I went too! This was way better than the "motoring" holidays in Europe that my parents took me on where I was in the car most of the time fighting with my bro and being travel sick, broken up by long tedious meals in restaurants and looking at old buildings. We dreaded those holidays.

Enjoy that you have all of the school holidays to spend with your kids, find free stuff to do and use Tesco points etc for days out. You are very fortunate OP.

If you change your bank. Some banks are giving free money. Look on money saving expert website
Secondly, set up some monthly savings accounts or save the change
Don't auto renew any bills or insurance, it will save you money

It’s a horrible rag of a newspaper, but would you consider booking a holiday through The Sun? They cost either £9.50 or £15 per person, depending on the time of year. Some sites have extra charges but some don’t.

When money was tight a couple of years ago, this is how we took our kids away- once to butlins and once to Duinrell in Holland (admittedly we did have to pay for transport for that trip). We took our own food with us to minimise the expenditure when we got there.

They were wonderful holidays and the kids have great memories of them.

When my children were little, I didn’t work and although hubby earning normal wages, felt we couldn’t go on ‘proper’ holidays. But we did house swaps. No accommodation costs, and we used to throw everything (including mother-in-law) into car and beetle off. Good education for children as we lived with ‘normal’ citizens of other European countries, in places where you wouldn’t think of going on holiday, eg Denmark. We swapped with a family who lived in a house, on and island in a fjord, fantastic place.
Of course, you have to let others stay in your home, but it’s based on mutual respect.
And this was in the days before the internet and email, so all arranged through snail mail with letters and stamps.

I’m envious of people who can afford food, new clothes and a new pair of shoes. I’ve had the same pair given to me 3 yrs ago

Yanbu. I have to cancel our holiday today. And lose $111 to freaking air bnb because I didn't realise that the service fee was not part of the "full refund if cancelled by x date". It sucks, because it wasn't a fancy trip, just a week in the mountains 2 hours from us in a place that would let us bring the dogs. My in laws offered to pay the other half and join us, but that would be worse than no holiday as they hate our dogs. I feel guilty because as a kid I had 2 hoildays a year, saw lots of countries and had so many experiences. I wish I could give my own kids those experiences.

I hope you find some fun ways to spend your non holiday time though. Day trips and things.

Sorry, haven't read the full thread but how about exam marking? Too late for this year but with some organisation, you could earn enough for a holiday next year. As you're not currently teaching you'll need to shop around for a board that recruits qualified teachers who aren't currently teaching.

Why not do some nannying in school hols pays £10 an hour at least, use the money to go somewhere?

Op- so many things that I would do if I was in your position!

I run a 24/7 dog boarding business and I can’t get away during summer if in fact EVER! It did however afford me to save for a 16 day trip to Disney world last year!

Now skint (debts too) snd I can REALLY relate to you!

What I would do if I was you is join this site Trusted Housesitters (I’m walking and can’t send link) it’s £85 per year.
I (unfortunately) lost an opportunity to go to an amazing mansion near Disney land in California because I couldn’t get cover for my work and flights etc etc! Plus was school time! But was offered over FaceTime two weeks to stay there for free!

Then I realised IF I was a TA like yourself OP then it would be PERFECT! You would automatically have amazing references crb checks (not that you always need them) but you get my drift! If I was you I’d bid every day for these amazing places around the world (not all US they are everywhere ) and you can take your kids to somewhere amazing for free.

Disclaimer this is not an advert for the above House sitting site. I’m on it myself. And was gutted I have missed some opportunities. But all OP has to do is save as much as possible for flights and bid every day for future sits.

Lastly why not sign up with au pair companies in UK and say Spain etc? Can always try that way. I know these aren’t the same as sitting around the pool with your DP but surely something to look into ....

OP only you can make it work. Good luck and I hope you get to have that well deserved break ☀️💕

www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/news/brb-subscription-travel-holidays/

Lastly this is amazing ..you pay £50 per month or £45 each so 90 for you as a couple. You then get a three day holiday every four months. (You can opt for 8 months to have a week iyswim) you choose the countries you want.

You can quit subscription whenever you want. (Say you pay for few months go on three day trip to Madrid then can just cancel)

Try a self catering caravan holiday in October or April. Some companies will let you pay a bit per week. That's how my other half and I afforded one. Kids didn't care about whether it was sunny, so long as the beach was available etc. Borrow a tent, go camping (this is cheapest). If you have a car you can pack it with duvets etc and live off cold food (done this too). Kids loved it.

Also try holidays in the UK. Most kids don't care about hot weather etc. Lots of kids love the beach, whatever the weather and a lot of places have free\cheap entry castles or museums.

I have one particular friend who asks me to go away with her every other month. My reply never changes "I'm a single mum living entirely off my student loan and 11 hour a week job, in all about £700 a month, I have to pay rent with that plus bills and food, there's nothing left at the end". She gets very annoyed with me each time. She has no kids and works 60 hour weeks, lives at home so don't think she quite 'gets it'. Not been on holiday in 6 or 7 years! I would love a holiday but know I can afford to in my 3rd year at uni as its placement and I'll be working full time, so holding on to that.

OK, firstly why should your ex pay any maintenance when he has the kids half the time?

It sounds like you have the better relationship with the kids, you don't need necessarily to go on holiday, take them to the park, take them on picnics, take them for walks. There are a lot of activities that are entirely free. We could not afford holidays when the kids were little, but they remember their summer holidays as being great fun. We would do things like having picnics in the garden, we would build camps out there, we would go to the park, we would go to the river and spot different birds, we would even play pooh sticks there.

Sounds rather odd, but stop looking at the bad things in your life and start looking at the good.

Oh, and get the kids talking to people that have flown on a plane, they need to know that people don't die just because they have been on a plane.

You are alive, presumably healthy, and you have kids you love and that love you. You are lucky. My sister-in-law has just died, she only found out she was ill in April, had a 8 month out grandson who will now never know her, and a 4 year old grandson that may or may not remember her. Her daughters were in pieces at the funeral. So, yes, you are blooming lucky.

Also try holidays in the UK. Most kids don't care about hot weather etc. Lots of kids love the beach, whatever the weather and a lot of places have free\cheap entry castles or museums.

Sounds a bit shit. The OP wants a proper sunshine holiday.

Sorry you can't have one OP that does suck and you're allowed to feel annoyed

You know my children have been lucky enough to have been to Spain a fair few times and France. They are going to the US this year and the next and you know what they talk about ........ going back to Centerparcs or a few days in a camping pod with their friends. Typical children do not care about big expensive holidays they just love time with their family

The oddest thing about this thread is the poster who is boasting about the number if holidays she goes on due to all the benefits. It's a ridiculous amount of money to be recieving even with disabled children. Absolute madness. And the "we deserve them" comment makes you sound like a twat.

@JaneEb I’m sorry about your loss. I just lost my own sister several weeks ago to suicide. But I do not compare things like this to OPs situation. There’s always sadness in the whole world but OP was talking about HER feelings, her situation etc!
And what’s wrong with wanting to take your kids away? It’s a big world out there answer feels fed up that DESPITE working hard (just as I do and I bet you do!) it doesn’t feel the most amazing feeling to NOT be able to afford to go anywhere other than a rainy park!!