to refuse to send our DD in a school trip with the girl that bullied her?

[ineedaholiday2]

HI all,

Our daughter was bullied by a couple of other girls in her class last year. She has been in therapy since we found out, having very low self esteem and even entertaining suicidal thoughts. The headteacher spoke with the other girls back then and and while things have gotten better, they are nowhere close to be ‘friends’. Our daughter is still in therapy, battling depression and anxiety on a daily basis.

Now their class are going on the final school trip for a week without parents, and their teachers have put our daughter in the same room as one of the girls who bullied her. We think this is extremely irresponsible, and couldn’t believe it when they told us. Their reasoning is that there haven’t been any issues between We will not let her go on this trip if they don’t change her room, even though we have already payed around £300 for it and she will be heartbroken to have to stay while the whole class goes away. The whole thing just seems so unfair to her and insensitive from the adults.

Please tell me if there is anything we can do to protest if they dont’ change their minds, anything at all we can do. This is a primary state school.

Thanks in advance

I would ask for the school complaints procedure and follow it

This is shocking! I'm Scottish so I know nothing about Governors but definitely raise it with anyone you can. They need to sort this.

Can the therapist write a support letter

my daughter is terrified
That alone says she stays at home with you. Just tell the school she's not going, if they insist just don't turn up with her. But unfortunately you do need to deal with the school - I'd look at changing schools if you can.

There should be a complaints procedure the school or council can supply. Also get a letter from therapist firmly stating that what the school are proposing is emotionally damaging to your child. Complain to governors and council and Ofsted. Don't send her if they wont change the room. I feel so angry for you

I cannot believe how irresponsible your daughters school is being over this matter, this is atrocious.. I despair at the lack of fucking thinking in these places I truly do.. I hope you fight this OP and your daughter finds some peace on this trip, failing that I would not in a million years leave her in that room with one of her bullies for a whole week. She wouldn't be going and a lawyers letter would get my money back. The school are failing in their Duty of Care for your daughter.

I would keep her home too. If she is terrified already it's not worth it, and she is very fragile to be away from you for 3 days.
The school is being awful though. What has their reason been? Did they take the bullying seriously when it was happening?

BumbleBeee69 is 100% right

Well this just sounds crazy! Surely if there are only four girls in a room, it would be so easy to just shuffle around. What reason did they actually give for not being prepared to do this?

They obviously don’t think the bullying was serious? We’re they fully aware of it and the consequences? Do they think you’re making it up?

The school website should list the governors and contact details for them. Failing that, ask the school office for the head governors details.

I would also put a complaint in to Ofsted as the school is seriously neglecting your child's welfare.

In my local school two children were banned from the residential trip due to their history of bullying. It's a shame your school doesn't take the same stance rather than punishing the victim of bullying.

You need the LADO at the local authority. Clear safeguarding issue.

That's outrageous.

If you hand deliver the governor letter, you might get a fast response. You can also send a copy of the letter to the headteacher. That tends to get a very fast response!

I wouldn't blame you for keeping her home.
The school don't seem too worried so I doubt they will pay attention to DD if she was distressed or unhappy.

Can they switch her room?

I wouldn't let her go OP.
If those girls intend to bully your daughter they will find a way and away from home ,without your support,being with these girls 24/7 will be too much.
Can you take her for a weekend away with one of her close friends?or days out perhaps?or a couple of sleepovers depending on your circumstances.
I don't say to not let her go lightly because I appreciate that she will be the line student not going,but bearing in mind her fragile mental health,having to cope alone will be a massive strain on her.
I hope very much everything works out successfully for her🌻

Lone not line!

Ok read now

You have every right to be cross and try to get them to fix it

That's ridiculous! I can't think of a single reason why they can't change the bully to a different room, other than pig headedness.
I'd definitely write to the governors urgently

Your poor daughter to be so badly let down by people she should feel safe with.

@geraniumpink, their reason (pasted from their email) " At this stage, we can’t change the groups around anymore. However, we have agreed to position the girls next to one of the staff rooms so we can keep a close eye. I think they’ll all have a great time,"

The "I think they'll all have a great time" really kills me. This guy (the head) clearly doesn't get it!!!

Go to the school in person and demand they change the rooms.

No he’s not getting it is he

Might be difficult now for your DD but I taught my kids and grandkids to hit first and hit hard, no bullying problems now. Can’t stand bullies and will always stand up to them.

Go in person, not email

Oh for crying out loud! I would honestly be so cross about this.