Was he trying to 'pregnancy trap' me?

[Threwitaway]

Nc so I don't out myself. I feel like I might be going crazy but I have this awful gut feeling. I'm also aware I should have taken more precautions but it's too late now. I'm sorry for the tmi.

I have an 18mo with my ex and the pregnancy wasn't planned. He wasn't involved with DD at all until recently. He's made it very clear he wants to be together again and is going very fast. He's talking about marriage and moving in together and having a bigger family. This all just scares me but despite me asking him to slow down he isn't really listening.

Recently we slept together twice. The first time was kind of in the moment and he pulled out. He asked me afterwards if I was on the pill and I said no. The second time we slept together he had planned. He asked me where I wanted him to 'finish' and I made it clear I wanted him to pull out. When he got 'closer' he asked me to get into a position that in hindsight I couldn't really get out of quickly, and then came inside me.

I thought it might have just been an accident but the next day he started talking about baby names and 'oh is it really such a bad thing if we had another now?'. I know I shouldve taken more precautions with contraception but I was unprepared and stupid because I thought he'd agree that me being pregnant is a bad idea. I tried to end our relationship a few days after but he didn't react well.

Am I being unreasonably paranoid or did he try and' pregnancy trap' me?

Yes, a shit and unreliable method of preventing a pregnancy, but one they both agreed on. He broke the deal.

And so it's not a pregnancy trap.

It's stupid behaviour on both their parts.

And so it's not a pregnancy trap.

It is, since he broke the deal they had and tried to get her pregnant knowing that wasn’t the deal. I think we can probably just agree to disagree here.

It's stupid behaviour on both their parts. it absolutely is.

Take control yourself. There are plenty of options available
You can request he uses condoms as well
Why would you have a relationship with someone, who has walked away from you & your child once before ?

Please respect yourself more and stop having sex with someone you don't like. I think "pregnancy trap" is rather irrelevant seeing as you don't seem to want to be with him. Please get away from him, stop having sex with him until you are sure you want to be with him, and start using contraception until you make up your mind.

Pulling out is unreliable as a contraceptive method, yes, but he still ejaculated inside her without her permission. Whether it falls under the legal definition of rape or not, it's at least a violation of consent.

Yes, he is trying to trap you and intentionally get you pregnant. Clearly you know the pull out method isn't 100% reliable, but it is actually 96% effective with proper use. With average use it is 78% effective, so not great, but still better than nothing. Since he pulled out the first time, and you discussed him pulling out the second time, it was beyond outrageous of him to ejaculate inside you and you should have kicked him out of your house instead of "trying to break up with him" 2 days later. What a twat.

You don't want a relationship with this guy so stop having sex with him. It is really that simple, take control of your life & introduce some boundaries. Put a formal contact procedure in place so he sees your dd in a contact centre. Or he collects your dd from your doorstep and you have a friend around when he collects.

Shocking, shocking responses, OP. I'm so sorry. He should never have done this without your consent. If you had been on the pill and this man still manipulated you into a position you couldn't physically move to get out of FOR HIS OWN PLEASURE, the replies would've been different. But you aren't and it's been used as a stick to beat you with. Un-fucking-believable.

@Pumperthepumper would I say the same to a man who didn’t wear a condom but thought his girlfriend was on the pill? Hell yeah I would. Contraception is everybody’s responsibility.

If you don’t want to get pregnant by your ex, the simple solution seems to be... don’t have unprotected sex with your ex.

It’s not difficult!

He sounds vile and you sound like a fool.

If you have all the red flags, why are you sleeping with him?

Get some contraception sorted and finish with him.

If you had been on the pill...

Then she wouldn't have been posting about having been "pregnancy trapped" and the thread would have been entirely different.

Why even have unprotected sex (pulling out means fuck all) with someone if you don't want to get pregnant?? You could have refused sex, had the MAP, or a coil.... or you know, used a condom. If he's pressuring you for sex than that's yet another red flag

Get some self respect for starters, bin him off. And stop having sex that could result in pregnancy!!!

Meowington I agree with you. You’re exactly right.

You're not wrong, soup. The title would've been something like, 'my ex is ejaculating inside me without my consent AIBU to think he's being selfish' and given all the replies, she'd be told yes she is unreasonable because she should've be shagging him in the first place if she doesn't like it. Disgusting attitude some people have towards other women.

Shouldn't*

I'm totally shocked by these responses. We desperately need consent education in this country.

Disgusting attitude some people have towards other women

Wanting women to take some modicum of responsibility for themselves, how appalling

'A woman comes on knowingly having unprotected sex and it's still all the blokes fault.'

The guy in that other thread chose to ejaculate in the women's vagina without ensuring he was using contraception. This is different from the OP, who was ejaculated in without her consent. HTH

This is so stupid. Stop having unprotected sex if you don’t want a baby ffs.

You're being coerced into an abusive relationship, coerced into taking risks and yes, it does sound like he's deliberately trying to get you pregnant so you'll stay with him.

Make an appointment at your GP now in case you are pregnant, as that will give you time for a termination to be arranged (if you do not want to be further trapped).

And contact Women's Aid, as this is only going to get worse - which you seem to be skirting around the edges of by him 'not taking it well' when you 'tried breaking up'.