Was he trying to 'pregnancy trap' me?

[Threwitaway]

Nc so I don't out myself. I feel like I might be going crazy but I have this awful gut feeling. I'm also aware I should have taken more precautions but it's too late now. I'm sorry for the tmi.

I have an 18mo with my ex and the pregnancy wasn't planned. He wasn't involved with DD at all until recently. He's made it very clear he wants to be together again and is going very fast. He's talking about marriage and moving in together and having a bigger family. This all just scares me but despite me asking him to slow down he isn't really listening.

Recently we slept together twice. The first time was kind of in the moment and he pulled out. He asked me afterwards if I was on the pill and I said no. The second time we slept together he had planned. He asked me where I wanted him to 'finish' and I made it clear I wanted him to pull out. When he got 'closer' he asked me to get into a position that in hindsight I couldn't really get out of quickly, and then came inside me.

I thought it might have just been an accident but the next day he started talking about baby names and 'oh is it really such a bad thing if we had another now?'. I know I shouldve taken more precautions with contraception but I was unprepared and stupid because I thought he'd agree that me being pregnant is a bad idea. I tried to end our relationship a few days after but he didn't react well.

Am I being unreasonably paranoid or did he try and' pregnancy trap' me?

Pumper I thought same but didn't want to be accused of troll hunting

You’ve had one unplanned pregnancy, and no you are still having sex with no contraception.... 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

And actually, going by the responses on those ‘should a man be able to walk away’ threads, you should have the support from a lot of posters of disowning the baby once it’s born because you didn’t want it. That’s the advice men get on here, opt out if it’s not what you want. I’m sure you’ll get a lot of support on here if that’s what you choose to go. Equality, hooray!

So, you should have used contraception but you didn’t, but you don’t want the baby so should be able to choose whether or not you’re in its life.

The pull out method isn't a viable way to avoid pregnancy, and even if he was trying to, you weren't on the pill and didn't use any protection- that is also your responsibility.

@ShatnersWig I know, my first post will be deleted.

He wasn't involved with DD at all until recently. He's made it very clear he wants to be together again and is going very fast.

And what do you want, OP?

Do you want to be together again, or is it all his idea?

Do you want to be with someone who ignored his daughter until it suited his purposes of getting back with you?

I don't like the sound of "tried" to end the relationship. Surely it is entirely up to you if you want to end it? (just as it would be entirely up to him if he wanted to end it).

Sounds like it is all happening on his terms. Just because he is your DCs dad does not mean you have to give in to this.

I'm sure you will be a lot more careful with your contraception in future, but in the meantime, don't be bullied any more by this bloke. Take as much time as you want, and don't commit to anything at all if you don't want to.

Having said that, sleeping wiht him probably isn't going to help you see things clearly!

You have to take responsibility here. Contraception isn't a "man's job"

Also get yourself tested for STDs, you really need to take control of your own sexual health and pregnancies.

I'm sure you will be a lot more careful with your contraception in future

What on earth gives you that idea candycane when all the evidence is to the contrary?

Trapping you would be him removing a condom during sex. You didn’t even bother using a condom, you willingly had unprotected sex twice. Withdrawal is not a valid method of contraception. You also had the choice to take the MAP both times but didn’t.

Don't have unprotected sex if you don't want a baby. After having an termination when young (17) and then miscarriage at 21 (different relationships) I was adamant I didn't want DC in my 20s and even though I knew my BCP was reliable etc and I took it religiously - I was still petrified of getting pregnant and on the odd occasion I had a break and used condoms I did get MAP but also double checked BCP failing etc.

I even used condoms alongside MAP. Heard too many horror stories of BCP alone failing....

You slept with him while not using contraception. No trapping going on, you're as good as complicit.
Go to the docs and get some contraceptive if you dont want to get pregnant.

I tried to end our relationship a few days after but he didn't react well.

Um... it only takes one person to end a relationship. You don't need his permission. If you don't want to be with him, tell him clearly. Then block if you need to, to get the message across.

I appreciate that as you already have a DC you'll need to communicate in some way.

And stop shagging him without contraception. I can't see how he can 'trap' you if you're not using anything anyway.

Only he knows, it's possible. It's not a pleasant thought as a baby should be planned and wanted unless an accident occurs. Be wary.

However you can make sure you don't become pregnant if you're not ready. Don't delay this.

OP, I'm not going to lay into you but you need to get contraception today, consider what you will do if you are and stay pregnant and ditch the bloke. It takes two but he's clearly not listening so even if it was loves young dream, it's not, then this should not be happening .

Can I ask growing up what were your parents relationships like, and how old are you?
You sound very naieve and rather than name calling I wonder if someone ought to sit you down and explain not the birds and bees but proper facts of life.
He asked/told you what position to get in for sex, why don't you choose?
Your relationship is going fast, why don't you take control of the pace that you want for yourself
You are setting the tone for how your child handles relationships.

you don’t want the baby so should be able to choose whether or not you’re in its life.

She has that ability. She can choose to terminate the pregnancy or put the baby up for adoption.

Was he planning on becoming a cocklodger maybe?

Why are you entertaining this 'relationship'? This man had little to do with his baby and is now rushing you into another pregnancy and marriage that you don't want, and doesn't take it well when you try to end it. If he abusive? Would he have worn a condom if you told him to?
I think you need help trying to break free of this man don't you?

Well, yes, you should be wary, but also you need to be sensible too, and take responsibility for your own contraception.

She has that ability. She can choose to terminate the pregnancy or put the baby up for adoption.

She doesn’t have to do either of those. She can birth the baby and immediately hand it to its father, then opt out - never see the baby, never pay for it, assume no responsibility for it at all, because she didn’t want it and he did.

never pay for it he could surely chase for CM though?

She can choose to terminate the pregnancy or put the baby up for adoption

Mothers can't relinquish babies for adoption if the father doesn't consent.

He absolutely could but it’s notoriously easy to either pay very little CM or just not pay at all. And since she didn’t want the baby, a lot of posters will argue that she shouldn’t have to pay at all - he wanted the baby, after all, and she didn’t. And what the parent wants is more important than the needs of the child they created.