Was he trying to 'pregnancy trap' me?

[Threwitaway]

Nc so I don't out myself. I feel like I might be going crazy but I have this awful gut feeling. I'm also aware I should have taken more precautions but it's too late now. I'm sorry for the tmi.

I have an 18mo with my ex and the pregnancy wasn't planned. He wasn't involved with DD at all until recently. He's made it very clear he wants to be together again and is going very fast. He's talking about marriage and moving in together and having a bigger family. This all just scares me but despite me asking him to slow down he isn't really listening.

Recently we slept together twice. The first time was kind of in the moment and he pulled out. He asked me afterwards if I was on the pill and I said no. The second time we slept together he had planned. He asked me where I wanted him to 'finish' and I made it clear I wanted him to pull out. When he got 'closer' he asked me to get into a position that in hindsight I couldn't really get out of quickly, and then came inside me.

I thought it might have just been an accident but the next day he started talking about baby names and 'oh is it really such a bad thing if we had another now?'. I know I shouldve taken more precautions with contraception but I was unprepared and stupid because I thought he'd agree that me being pregnant is a bad idea. I tried to end our relationship a few days after but he didn't react well.

Am I being unreasonably paranoid or did he try and' pregnancy trap' me?

I’m sorry but frankly if you are unable to make such important decisions for yourself, perhaps you need some help. This is YOUR body and YOUR life, I’d hope you were a willing party to everything, including sexual position (you knew he was close at this point). Forget this trapping business and think about what you want and need to do now. And please start to take ownership of your decisions.

@JacquesHammer just to clarify the vast majority didn't even refer to this thread.

You seem to have misunderstood my post?

@Pumperthepumper yes she can be it by termination or adoption.

She can give full care to the father but she should still financially support the child, the same way an absent father should.

Bird you said

Of course, the vast majority blamed him and.said he should've taken his own precautions and it was his own fault and tough shit

A woman comes on knowingly having unprotected sex and it's still all the blokes fault

You were clearly comparing the two situations. If you were only referring to the few points above, it might have been helpful to say so.

Otherwise your post implies you’re discussing the “vast majority” on both.

Anyway, the construction of your post whilst an interesting discussion is de-railing somewhat from the OP’s issue, genuine or not!

@Pumperthepumper they had unprotected sex even if he didn't withdraw, difficult to prove it the pregnancy resulted from the first or second sex.

@JacquesHammer I wrote the post, I know what I meant, not you! Wind your neck in and get back to the thread.

they had unprotected sex even if he didn't withdraw, difficult to prove it the pregnancy resulted from the first or second sex

Good point. Without the timescales from the OP it’s impossible to judge.

I wrote the post, I know what I meant, not you!

Maybe making it clearer would help? Otherwise people are going to read it as it appears not what you “meant”.

they had unprotected sex even if he didn't withdraw, difficult to prove it the pregnancy resulted from the first or second sex

But that’s irrelevant surely - if he wanted her to get pregnant then surely there is some trickery involved in promising one thing but doing another? I’m delighted to see you think the OP still has a responsibility to the child even if she’s not in its life, I agree.

@JacquesHammer only you it seems.

@Threwitaway i assume you got MAP the next day? You clearly don't want to be in a relationship with him, and you clearly can't trust him. If he's getting aggressive etc tel lhim to go to court for access. Is he actually paying for the child he already has?

@Pumperthepumper I think unprotected sex is unprotected sex. Withdrawal for me is not contraception, I accept some people use it but I think it's coupled with charts etc.

The OP still had/has the option to end the pregnancy by MAP or termination. She still does have control.

@boobirdblue
Everything I have read blames the OP (so the woman) so I’m unsure where you have got that idea from.

She was tricked! He said he’d withdraw and he didn’t.

Except that withdrawal isn't really a form of protection, so she agreed to unprotected sex. We all know that you can get pregnant whether the man withdraws or not.

@Pinkmouse6 did you read the it's rape posts? I think they're blaming the man? Don't you?

.

1 unplanned child with this man
Have unprotected sex with him
Have unprotected sex with him a second time
But he's trying to "pregnancy trap you"

What does that even mean

I don’t understand that last post blue, sorry. She does have control over her own body yes. She can decide that she doesn’t want an abortion, in which case a child will be born. Since that child is 50% hers and 50% the fathers, should either of them be able to walk away? Nope.

The trickery thing though - I’m afraid I don’t see much difference (lie-wise) in saying you’re on the pill but aren’t and saying you’ll pull out but don’t. I say lie-wise, because obviously there is a massive difference in choosing to put your own body through a pregnancy and someone else choosing to put your body through a pregnancy.

So im assuming if you think he's trying to trap you, you went out and got the map or coil?
Otherwise you both had unprotected sex, you can’t blame him you could have-said no.

Please get it through to him that this relationship is over. If you are concerned about his reaction then consider having a friend there. It won't do you or your child any good to enter a relationship out of misguided obligation to your young child having their parents together. Being together for the children is pointless

This all just scares me but despite me asking him to slow down he isn't really listening.

Recently we slept together twice.

He asked me where I wanted him to 'finish' and I made it clear I wanted him to pull out. ...And then came inside me.

I tried to end our relationship a few days after but he didn't react well.

What the jiggery tit am I reading?!

Stop having sex with somebody who is going too fast for you.

Stop having unprotected sex.

Get the fuck away from this monumentous arsehole.

@Pumperthepumper I don't see withdrawal as a contraception so I think that makes the difference.

Might not be what you think, but that's what I think.

Except that withdrawal isn't really a form of protection, so she agreed to unprotected sex. We all know that you can get pregnant whether the man withdraws or not.

Ah, I see, sorry Blue. I’d argue that withdrawal is a form of protection, albeit a shitty unreliable one, but I still don’t think it matters because he didn’t withdraw. So the terms they agreed to were broken, by him.

I don’t understand that last post blue, sorry. She does have control over her own body yes. She can decide that she doesn’t want an abortion, in which case a child will be born. Since that child is 50% hers and 50% the fathers, should either of them be able to walk away? Nope.

You've missed the MAP option? They can both walk away if the decide on adoption, although in reality it's the mother that has the decision,

You've missed the MAP option? They can both walk away if the decide on adoption, although in reality it's the mother that has the decision

Sorry, add ‘maybe she doesn’t want to take the MAP because she doesn’t want those hormones in her body’ into that post. Why would she chose adoption? The father WANTED this baby.