WIBU to tell him to go home or shut up?

[PineappleSeahorse]

I rarely have guests as I don't enjoy it, but I have a family member staying with me for a week while he has work done in his house.(We're three days in) and I already want to murder him.

I've stocked the fridge and cupboards full and told him to help himself and I'm making meals but heaven forbid that I eat anything too. There were sausages which he's been eating and I had two yesterday(he had some too). He was looking for the sausages today and I told him we finished them yesterday, but there's bacon, eggs, tuna, cheese, ham etc. He said "You ate them? I was looking forward to sausage. Oh I suppose I'll just have to have bacon now. I wasn't really in the mood for bacon, just sausages but I suppose they'll have to do now that you've eaten them."

He's said that about other things too, bloody orange juice because I dared to have some. Some of my own birthday cake which I'm not supposed to touch. I bought the frozen M&S Pain au chocolat for his breakfast yesterday along with eggs I made. I don't eat breakfast as I told him p but said I'd have one later with coffee, and put two aside. He ate all six. "Oh I didn't think you'd want any."

Is it me? Would I be justified in telling him to leave if my existence in my own home bothers him so much?

Six croissants!!!

Why are you buying the food?

Is he your Dad by any chance?

No, he's an Uncle. I bought food just because I thought that's what you do when you have a guest, but I'm now regretting stocking up with nice things for him, and hosting him at all.

OP- Just wondering what the relationship/family dynamic is?

Sounds an absolute nightmare...

haha cross post

Yes, who is he to you that you're being so polite/deferential ? FIL?

Who usually shops and cooks for him? He sees you as temporary staff!

And how did he eat six pain au chocolat in one go, without being sick?

Also cross post.

No, you don't have to be belittled to be a good host. And he really needs to learn to be a good guest.

I can never understand why some posters say "a family member"

Just bloody say "My cousin" or "My brother" or "My uncle"

What's the secret??

He's elderly(ish) and lives alone,(His wife died almost two years ago) so I felt sorry for him, but my sympathy is rapidly diminishing.

I have an M&S five minutes away. I'm tempted to go and stock up on more lovely things and eat the lot in front of him.

So I'm assuming he pays you a full hotel rate, if he expects this kind of service?

You told him to help himself and now you're annoyed that he's helping himself?

OP if you don't want him eating your stuff tell him to buy his own stuff. And eat what you want in your own home.
Jesus Christ

...and what gift did he bring you and how else did he express thanks for putting him up? Does he plan to take you out for dinner on the last night?

Maybe say that you've shopped for the first half of the week, so now it's his turn - to shop for BOTH of you!

Don't feel bad, OP. I would have stocked up on some nice food too, in your situation. Because I would expect my uncle to be grateful, and to offer to buy food when it needed replenishing.

How is the food situation at the moment, given that he ate 6 pain au chocolate in one meal? (sorry, but that just blows my mind!). Can you let it all run low and see if he offers to buy food?

Is there anyone else that could house him for the remaining time? For his own safety?

Tell him that as he isn't happy with you using food that you've brought for both of you, not just him, from now on you're going to buy food just for you, and he can get his own stuff. Allocate one shelf of the fridge to him.

If he doesn't like that, he can leave.

I wouldn’t be do any more shopping or cooking for him, no way. Eat out. You’ve been more than generous and he’s totally unappreciative. He really is taking the piss.

I didn't want to out myself too much, and didn't think the relationship status was relevant but It doesn't matter really I guess.

He didn't eat them all at once I think. He has two breakfasts(I only make one) then lunch so he consumed them all by the time I went to have coffee at 3, they were all gone.

OP tell him he'll need to buy and provide for himself for the rest of his stay as it's becoming to expensive.who the fuck eats 6 pain au chocolats! Nutter. Then just buy your own food to eat daily leaving no stock anywhere. and go out a lot.

I just thought he must be a bit older to behave in that way and also for you to consider putting up with it.

"I was looking forward to the x" with no prior discussion about it til it had (quite reasonably) been eaten by another family member is just the sort of thing my Dad would say and would drive you mad.

I wouldn't get anything else in. He can sort himself out.

No, I'm happy for him to help himself but not to begrudge me eating my own food and personally I wouldn't eat all six pastries when there's someone else who might want one, and I'd mentioned I'd have one with coffee later.

He sounds a nightmare but don't hide the toilet roll - he will be sitting on your sofa!🤤
I wouldnt buy more nice food or else this cycle might continue - just use up some normal stuff (beans on toast etc). If you need anything ask him if he could pick it up. Count down those seven days - he's a selfish old goat and you are a saint! When he goes home go and get yourself some posh shopping to celebrate!

He shops for himself though he has a very kind neighbour who often keeps aside a portion for him, of whatever she's made for dinner.

He ate six pains au chocolat?!? He's a greedy fat fuck.

He clearly has a massive sense of entitlement, no idea of a household/food budget, zero social skills or all of the above.

I'd tell him he can shop and cook for himself until he goes, or if that doesn't suit him he can leave now.