To think DH is a bastard about this (Miscarriage related)

[Want2727]

Started with a very early miscarriage last Thursday afternoon. Spend most of the rest of the day and the Friday bleeding, in pain and upset. DH was kind of supportive but I went all day without him offering to make me so much as a drink.
Yesterday I pulled myself together and DH and I did a lot of work in the garden. DH never once asked how I was. Last night I worked a 12 hour shift which finished at 9 this morning.

I was exhausted and passed some clots so I got in and said I wanted to to go to bed. DH obviously not happy as he wanted to to do more in the garden and wanted my help in that and keeping DS entertained.

At 12.30 he sent DS to come and wake me, I asked if I could have a bit longer as I just passed a clot the size of my fist. DH not happy but agrees.

I came down at 3 and since then DH has just curled up on the sofa snoozing. He has done nothing with DS just sat him in front of the I pad all day while he watched sport.

Not given me a hug or asked how I was I have just got attitude.

He works 20 hours a week so not a huge amount. I have done 42 hours this week.

AIBU to think he should have let me rest for most of the day and done something with DS.

He’s a twat. Horrible behaviour, take care of yourself

What an absolute twunt. I'm so sorry. Does he normally only sleep a few hours at night then???

Christ, what a dick. Is he generally unsupportive in other areas of your relationship?

So sorry about your pregnancy loss. Do look after yourself and do don’t so more than you feel up to.💐

Realise that's not clear ....what I mean is that as a bare minimum, he should understand that you need to sleep for most of today xx

Basically he thought I should finish the night shift and just carry on for the rest of the day. I don’t normally do weekend nights I normally do nights during the week so I have when DS is a school to rest.

I’m sorry about your pregnancy loss

And I’m sorry that your DH is an insensitive prick.

I am not doing tonight but I am then working the next 3 night after that.

Is he normally so unsupportive?

I have had a 6 miscarriages. He has got progressly less supportive with each one

Prepared to be flamed but is he taking the miscarriage harder than you think?

Perhaps he is struggling too, as this a eanted pregnancy?

I am sorry for your lost pregnancy and do agree your husband could have been more supportive, but maybe think about how he feels

What the fuck? That would be shitty behaviour even if you hadn't been suffering a miscarriage. So sorry

Him expecting you up at 1230 when you've finished a shift at 9 is bad enough in itself. Combine that with the fact you have just suffered a MC... yes OP he has acted like a complete dick. So sorry for your loss

Prepared to be flamed but is he taking the miscarriage harder than you think?

Do you REALLY think this is the case?

I've worked nights and no way could I have forgone sleep like that.Does your family know what a dick he is ? I am furious on your behalf

He really doesn't sound like a good parent at all.

Perhaps you should stop trying to have any more children until he proves he can be a decent father to the child he already has & a decent husband to you.

I haven’t slept well as I knew he was pissed off about it. He has no idea how knackering it is. He thinks having a bad nights sleep is the same as being on your feet for 12 hours.
He is supportive about lots of things but I but if a dick about this. I have offered to jack in the night shifts but he knows we need the money

He’s an absolute wanker.

Why has he got less supportive with each miscarriage? Have you asked him?

I’d certainly not be having any more children with him unless he changed dramatically and stepped up re parenting and work. Twenty hours is nothing.

He’s a prick. Are you scared to tell him to fuck off? If not, tell him to fuck off.

I wouldn't want to have children with a heartless bastard like your dh. He's shown you his true colours, I think you should leave. Say if you became incredibly ill & needed medical treatment, would you think he'd call you an ambulance?

I have come upstairs to go back to bed.

I think he thinks yesterday I was ok (i wasn’t just battled through) so why am I not ok today. I think he thinks it is just a heavy period.
I am going back on the pill, can’t do this anymore.

Jesus Christ. If my husband woke me help him with childcare after a 12 hour night shift he'd be my ex-husband. That's just deeply horrible, uncaring behaviour. Add in your miscarriage and your husband is a first class arsehole. Please don't put up with that shit. Get angry.

He's been an unsupportive dickhead. You need to discuss how you feel about his behaviour or your resentment will fester. Is he usually like this? If you're one of life's copersand haven't needed his support in this way before you might not have noticed.

OP he is acting like a total selfish dick, if this is his usual behaviour, I'd prefer to be a single DM.
IME selfish people never change.
I hope you feel stronger soon.