AIBU To judge parents who refuse to pay their contribution to student maintenance loan at Uni?

[ThunderandPharoah]

Have got some friends who are not going to stump up for their parental contribution when their DD starts Uni this year. Can't help thinking that this is a pretty low thing to do as they are not exactly short of money. Would you judge?

yes, just maintenance. But whatever maintenance grant you received did not have to be paid back. It was also free. Not like today, where you need to gradually pay back both tuition and maintenance.

Yes, but the students are paying it back not the parents.The expected parental contribution has decreased if anything (my parents had to pay all my maintenance whereas now it would only be half) so it gets on my nerves when people act as if it is a bigger expense that they couldn't possibly have predicted. It is more predictable now compared with the 80s and the expected contribution from parents is lower.

We chose to pay the tuition fees upfront, and ds had no loans whatsoever. He was going to get sod all for the maintenance loans, so we decided to bite the bullet and pay for the lot. We would have paid off his loans had he taken them, and it seemed pointless to incur interest when we didn't need to do so.

Except that 85% of students never pay back the full amount. So, unless he became a high earner, in which case he could afford to pay it back, you’ve ended up paying more than you needed to. Why do so few people understand this?

No...just no. There are league tables and varying entry requirements for a reason.

You can still be a doctor with a degree from one of the others. Just like the A levels you get from the sink school are the same as the one you get from Eton.

Yes, there is always a way. It just means making some sacrifices. Which, at 18, kids should be able to accept.

I got a full grant and my parents paid nothing at all and I could live off the grant quite reasonably. But now all parents have to pay something, I think. Even a full maintenance loan now won’t cover all the costs.

You can still be a doctor with a degree from one of the others.

I think that doctor is one of the few degrees where it doesn't make much difference but that is partly few of the less good university do medical degrees in the first place.

Just like the A levels you get from the sink school are the same as the one you get from Eton.

A levels are not the same as degrees in that respect as they are set centrally rather than by the schools themselves. If schools designed their own qualifications you can bet that there would be differences between them and one "A level" wouldn't have the same value as another.

I got a full grant and my parents paid nothing at all and I could live off the grant quite reasonably. But now all parents have to pay something, I think. Even a full maintenance loan now won’t cover all the costs.

I think that it will cover all costs depending on where they go.

How many of these “kids” actually go for the degree and how many go because it’s expected and what their mates are doing? Degrees are ten a penny these days.
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That’s part of the problem, degrees became ten a penny so even in jobs where you don’t need a degree traditionally, people with a degree are at an advantage when applying because they have a higher level of education, becomes self fulfilling so that those jobs now need a degree! Things like admin etc.
The job market is so competitive now that those without a degree are disadvantaged so more people get degrees - creating an ever ending cycle.

You can still be a doctor with a degree from one of the others. Just like the A levels you get from the sink school are the same as the one you get from Eton

So few universities offer medicine - and for many, many students their local university won't offer it.
You also can't compare degrees and A levels in that way...they're completely different. As are universities and schools.

It's all well and good saying students should go to a local uni and get part time jobs but what if there isn't a local uni or you don't get a place there? And part time jobs are great unless you are at uni away from home, particularly if you have to move out of accommodation over the holidays. How easy is it to get a job that lets you leave for 3 months over the summer and a month over Christmas and Easter? Likewise holiday jobs at home - maybe easier if you live in a tourist area but where are these jobs that will take you on for just 3 months over the summer?

That’s part of the problem, degrees became ten a penny so even in jobs where you don’t need a degree traditionally, people with a degree are at an advantage when applying because they have a higher level of education, becomes self fulfilling so that those jobs now need a degree! Things like admin etc.
The job market is so competitive now that those without a degree are disadvantaged so more people get degrees - creating an ever ending cycle.

^This. Many then go on to take a Masters as they can’t get a graduate level job thereby accruing more debt

@Dungeondragon15 yes I did go to uni. And I worked three jobs while there.
Uni is not an entitlement. The student needs to look at the resources available and make a balanced sections based on that. If they can not afford £8K rent. Then the don't live there.

Yes, medical school is not the example to use for a go to your local uni argument. It isn't just the limited number of places offering it, its the competition. A candidate who gets even one offer is doing well.

My DH was recently conducting interviews for a part time bar position. One of the applicants had a masters, many had degrees. I believe it went to the person who left school and went straight into work.

If my children wanted that much money out of the family pot a month they would have to prove to me that they were working to contribute, not pissing it away constantly and had a firm plan on what to do with their degree. Not just pick the first Micky mouse degree because it's popular and what all their friends were doing.

We were talking about this earlier this morning. Our grandson (17) told us yesterday he’s planning to go do an apprenticeship during which he’ll be paid. In his words “It’s a mug’s game getting into £50k of debt when there’s no need for it”. As more and more non jobs require a degree and plumbers and joiners earn a fortune, I suspect more and more people will make that choice. I think we’ve hit peak graduate and the numbers will decline over the next few years.

@Belmo - students weren't allowed to work during term time where I want. Though bursaries for students who needed them were quite generous.

I'm fascinated by parents who seem to think that the moment their DC turns 18 they are an adult who should get no help, support and almost treated as a complete stranger. My parents wouldn't treat me that way now (if I needed it) and I'm in my mid 30s !!

No because my children are twins and we have a crippling mortgage and other bills which account for all our outgoing's. We are really going to struggle to support them both at once especially as they both have special needs which makes ordinary things more. Expensive. All my hopes are they get PIP and DSA. The real plus would be they choose one of our local universities we have 2 which they can catch a bus too, but one I already know what's to do a course which isn't available here. So no I don't judge I have no idea what is going on in people's lives and I will help financial as much as I can and in other ways as well.

@Alsohuman sensible boy if there is a job route he wants through apprenticeship.

I went to uni in the early naughties and a lot of our teachers essentially told us that uni was the only thing that mattered and that getting any degree, in any anything from anywhere would guarantee a graduate job starting on 20k plus. I'm not opposed to learning for learnings sake and if you go into it with eyes wide then fine but it was missold to a lot of my peers.

RollaCola84 @Belmo- students weren't allowed to work during term time where I want. Though bursaries for students who needed them were quite generous.

ffs.... went. Bloody phone

It’s pretty disgusting. Legally parents are obliged to support their children to the age of 25 if in full time education. It’s just as bad as not paying maintenance for younger children.

There seems to be some sort of mn belief that children should support themselves at 18 but the practical reality is that they won’t be able to do so if in full time education (and tbh will likely struggle to do so anyway). I can’t understand this attitude, supporting your child at uni is just as important as school.

I havent read any replies to this so dont know what the general consensus is.

Going off my personal experience of going to uni YABVU. Not everyone can afford to fund their children to go to uni.

My mum and dad gave me £20 a week for food and I was so grateful and would never have expected any more than that. (I started uni in 2011).

Going to university is a choice and it should not be expected for parents to fund this if they cant afford it/do not want to.

Sure, if parents were really really well off and they left their child on the bread line by not helping them out then that would be mean but I still dont think it should be seen as mandatory.

What if someone has 3 or 4 children? Are they expected to fund thousands per year per child? How is that feasible for the vast majority of people?

I try hard not to judge people as you never know the true circumstances of their finances
But I fully support mine and if people do have the cash I can't see why they would not
I think it can be a bit of a middle class thing,don't want to give up their fancy cars , holidays and meals out,but dress it up as teaching them independence
I don't want mine working shitty jobs when they should be concentrating on doing as well as they can and enjoying student life , when I am in a position to support them

I would go as far as to say it’s bad parenting and neglect if you can help but wont.

YABU. It's none of your business was other families are doing. You say that they can afford it but really you have no idea what someone else in another family can afford. Also some parents may see it as a learning experience for their child.

And for the record people who study medicine can do a part time job as well. Yes, it's tough, but my DH managed it as did a few of my friends. They were all fine.

Some parents see great value in their child developing a strong work ethic and being independent.

And to answer the question I would judge yes, I don't get any parent making things difficult for their children when they don't need to be.

But.... I think maintenance loans being determined based on household income is wrong. All students should be able to take as much, or as little, of it as they choose.

Legally parents are obliged to support their children to the age of 25 if in full time education

Legally? So if a parent doesn’t pay a 24 year old can take it to court to force a parent to pay? And pay can be docked as with cms?

Can you point me to the relevant law that states this please?

I don't want mine working shitty jobs when they should be concentrating on doing as well as they can and enjoying student life , when I am in a position to support them

Mine works two jobs

One as a waitress, she’s learning to work along side others, customer service, cash handling, she dealt with a few emergencies and pulls her weight when things need doing bookings timings

The other is in a shop again customer service tills stock control

From this she learns timekeeping and money management

She’ll have experience on her CV and be more employable with food references

Please don’t knock those who are trying