AIBU To judge parents who refuse to pay their contribution to student maintenance loan at Uni?

[ThunderandPharoah]

Have got some friends who are not going to stump up for their parental contribution when their DD starts Uni this year. Can't help thinking that this is a pretty low thing to do as they are not exactly short of money. Would you judge?

After reading quite a lot of replies the only thing I want to add to my original reply is although a parents income is taken into account for the childs loan amount it doesn't in anyway take into consideration the outgoings that parents are paying. They could be mortgaged up to their eyeballs or be paying debts or have maintenance responsibilities to other children, who knows?

@Dungeondragon15 yes I did go to uni. And I worked three jobs while there. Uni is not an entitlement. The student needs to look at the resources available and make a balanced sections based on that. If they can not afford £8K rent. Then the don't live there.*

So your parents didn't contribute the expected amount to your maintenance either? That's a shame as if they had done perhaps you could have concentrated on your studies, got a better degree and been in a position to help your children do a degree rather than expecting them to fund it themselves as well.

@bluebluezoo. It’s the Family Law (Scotland) act 1985 in Scotland. There is an equivalent in England. You can of course enforce the obligation to pay through the courts but it rarely (although does) happens as children don’t like to sue their parents.

@Dungeondragon15 yes I did go to uni. And I worked three jobs while there. Uni is not an entitlement. The student needs to look at the resources available and make a balanced sections based on that. If they can not afford £8K rent. Then the don't live there.

So your parents didn't contribute the expected amount to your maintenance either? That's a shame as if they had done perhaps you could have concentrated on your studies, got a better degree and been in a position to help your children do a degree rather than expecting them to fund it themselves as well.

@bluebluezoo CMS doesn’t have jurisdiction when child has finished A level education. You enforce it via the courts.

@Dungeondragon15 I got a good degree. Me and DH earn good money.
But I wouldn't hand over the amounts being discussed here without proof from my DC that they were making finically sensible decisions.

TapasForTwo Sun 23-Jun-19 08:23:23
"I don't understand why parents are expected to fund thousands of pounds for uni."

Unfortunately, that is the way it is these days. DD's maintenance loan won't even cover her accommodation.

I don't know why people are so surprised by this. It was exactly the same back in the old days of student grants. Loans replaced grants, but the means testing of parental income remained.

I judged then and I judge now - if you can afford to pay your parental contribution then you should. I know that sometimes parents have income which varies from year to year, as my dad did, which means that you can be assessed on a good year and told to pay a contribution from a lower income year the following year. This happened to me between my second and final years, but luckily my third year was a paid placement so I saved to cover the shortfall so my parents didn't have to struggle.

I got a good degree. Me and DH earn good money.
But I wouldn't hand over the amounts being discussed here without proof from my DC that they were making finically sensible decisions.

What amount are you discussing? Parents are expected to contribute a maximum of about £5,000 a year which is not much considering you will have had 18 years to save if you and your DH actually do earn "good money". What do you mean by expecting proof of "financially sensible decisions"? If they are doing a good degree at a good university is that not likely to be a good decision in itself? Sorry but it just sounds like you are making excuses not to contribute even though you are able to.

If parents have the money to support their dc and choose not to, I would think they are being unreasonable and unkind.

Sorry, missed off this bit.

Loans (and their pre-cursor grants) are there so that those from lower income families don't miss out on the opportunity of a higher education. Without these it would only be those whose families could afford to pay the whole amount who could attend.

I did a "rubbish" degree when I was 18yo. Then spent the next ten years doing jobs I could easily have done without it.

I now have a job where no way could I have got the job without the degree, being educated to degree level was a minimum essential requirement. I earn really good money.

I'm glad my parents didn't sit me down to decide if my career plans/degree option were worth investing in. I do also believe that there's an arguement that no education is a waste. Even if you never use that degree/subject knowledge the fact that you will have studied, learnt to do research, critical thinking, etc is all good.

I'm not saying you can't learn those skills without studying for a degree but I do think that degrees are generally a positive thing.

This is why I'm trying to point ds towards an apprenticeship after A levels. I'm a disabled single parent on benefits, exh doesn't pay a penny towards ds maintenance, ds is disabled (learning disability) At least if he manages to get a degree apprenticeship he will have some income to support himself & his employer will pay tuition fees. I can manage to continue to feed & clothe him if he is still able to live at home, but that will be all I can afford.

It's difficult. I don't think refusing to pay out of some misguided belief that it'll be character building and beneficial in the long run for your kids to have to struggle more and work a lot around their degrees is good parenting. Equally, I remember reading a poser on here say that as their housing costs were quite high, disposable income wasn't huge and she was very reluctant to forego needed household maintenance (which is what the money would otherwise have gone on) for a degree that, according to the best evidence we have, wasn't going to do much to increase the child's earning potential. And this is just people who actually have the money to spend, of course.

As with so much means tested stuff, it's appallingly inaccurate because of the variation in living costs between different regions of the country and also in housing costs between different generations. We'd have to contribute I think about £300 a month and tbh would be fine with that, but I wouldn't fancy finding it if we lived in London and rented privately.

Reading this thread, it comes at no surprise that many graduates end up with no job at the end. Those who will have gained work experience, have lower standards of living, ie. Went for shared bathroom rather than ensuite, who will k ow what it is like to go to work and come back having to cram for an exam the following day will have so much to offer to employers than those who went to uni, stayed in nice accommodations, went to lectures and relaxed and partied the rest of the time.

I find it hilarious thstvdomecspretns actually judge those who give their kids a better chance of a good start in their career than those who indulge their kids and give th a false sense of what life as a responsible adult entails.

Parents are expected to contribute a maximum of about £5,000 a year which is not much

That’s £400 a month!!

We have bills to pay

Yes, i realise it’s court not cms, which is why i asked if there were similar powers to dock pay at source.

How is enforced though? Does a child have to prove financial hardship? What if the child is financially stable, say they had an inheritance providing an income? Can they still force the parents to pay via court?

I realise it must be fairly unknown that adult children can do this, or I’m sure there would me more taking absent parents to court. Is it % of salary like cms ( note i said like, i realise cms aren’t involved), or is it an amount the child needs to maintain a lifestyle?

Interesting. As someone who lived off £25 a week after rent at uni, despite, as it turned out having a parent who was more than able to pay a contribution. I actually managed fine as I’m good at budgeting and found a pt job, so would my parent have been forced to pay as i wasn’t suffering, as such, but I went without a lot.

Nat6999 if you're on very low income you wouldn't be expected to contribute - he'd get the full maintenance loan.

I do think the govt need to look at the whole loans system. The maximum loan amount won't cover the rent in some places....I appreciate there may be cheaper house shares but a first year student may not be aware of how to get into one.

Then there is food, living costs on top.

I will help support my kids through uni. My parents n dh parents skimped n scraped for us to get through college (none of them ever been to college but value education & feel very lucky n grateful they did). I worked summers etc n saved as well n expect my kids to do same. There will be kids who take the piss, college not for them etc but I'll give them the opportunity see that's part of my job as a parent.

The student need to ensure their university is in an area that offers part time work if parents unable to help

I do think that it is wrong that student finance is means tested based on parental income. Students are adults, and we are talking about loans, not grants. Students should be treated as financially independent.

@Dungeondragon15 £5K a year.
Except at one point I could potentially have 3 children in university.

No it's not always. Criminology was the buzz degree when I was in Uni. I don't know a single criminologist. If I'm forking our hundreds of pounds a month then they don't get to book a week away in Spain with their friends.
They will be expected to work full time during holidays.

It’s pretty disgusting. Legally parents are obliged to support their children to the age of 25 if in full time education.

Only the RP - child maintenance & therefore legally enforceable financial support stops for the NRP at this point.

If you didn't want to pay for your children's needs, like education, why did you have them? They are your responsibility.

So people on benefits shouldn’t have children? We should all pay private school fees?