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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU To judge parents who refuse to pay their contribution to student maintenance loan at Uni?

745 replies

ThunderandPharoah · 23/06/2019 07:59

Have got some friends who are not going to stump up for their parental contribution when their DD starts Uni this year. Can't help thinking that this is a pretty low thing to do as they are not exactly short of money. Would you judge?

OP posts:
Dungeondragon15 · 30/06/2019 07:35

It was the 70s and work was scarce and the father or mother or both could have been laid off or were on strike and to have a child who could get a job to bring some money in meant the family could eat or pay the gas bill.

Okay, if you lived in Wales or somewhere there were strikes during the 70s I can see the situation would have been different. I think that in the 80s (when I was student) things were easier for those with parents in a low wage or no parents at all as they got a full grant and during they summer they could get income support if no job.

thethethethethe · 30/06/2019 07:57

There will now be fruitpicking to do, as we are losing EU seasonal workers.
As a student, I remember doing strawberry and raspberry picking. And a very tough 2 week stint harvesting hops, living on the farm. And a job living in as a mother's help.

needmorespace · 30/06/2019 08:15

Judge away - i earn mid-£30k in London and I pay the first term's rent for my adult child.
The system is a joke. My child gets £2k a year more than my friend's child and my friend's household income is c£110k
I simply cannot afford to give my adult child more.
I simply cannot understand that I lost child benefit when they turned 18 because they weren't a child anymore - but somehow they are when they are 19-22 and at uni?

howwudufeel · 30/06/2019 08:19

I have just been on a few open days and I can’t believe the luxury some students live in. The price of some accommodation is eye watering too. I saw loads of students turn their noses up at perfectly decent accommodation and moan to their parents how they wanted something more modern. I was shocked.

Dungeondragon15 · 30/06/2019 08:23

I have just been on a few open days and I can’t believe the luxury some students live in. The price of some accommodation is eye watering too. I saw loads of students turn their noses up at perfectly decent accommodation and moan to their parents how they wanted something more modern. I was shocked.

You can't expect a 16-17 year old to know what is reasonable. You obviously looked at the expensive luxury accommodation. We looked at the cheaper accommodation and it was not nice at all. There is a big variation according to price.

thethethethethe · 30/06/2019 08:29

I agree that a lot of students are very spoilt. The parents encourage or enable it. At one uni a company was advertising to parents - for a fixed fee paid by the parent, they would clean the student's accommodation and do their laundry.

howwudufeel · 30/06/2019 08:33

Dumgeondragon We looked at the full spectrum of accommodation. The faces some people were pulling in the cheaper accommodation were unbelievable especially as it was in front of some of the students who were living there at the moment. It struck me as very precious.

WandaOff · 30/06/2019 10:32

I have just been on a few open days and I can’t believe the luxury some students live in. The price of some accommodation is eye watering too. I saw loads of students turn their noses up at perfectly decent accommodation and moan to their parents how they wanted something more modern.
Lots of students will have grown up in nice homes with en-suite bathrooms, they are probably only 16 or 17 when looking round unis and have no reason to know that it won't be home from home.
Many overseas students come from very wealthy families and they tend to snap up the top of the range accommodation.

I've had two through uni. Youngest just graduated. Our income is well below the £60K+ upper limit so they got more than the minimum loan. We made it up for both of them though, even with two at once. It was no surprise that we would be funding through uni as while the details change, fundamentally there has always been a parental contribution.
Also there is a huge saving at home when they go, not least the reduction in showers fuel and food.
They both worked during the summer but never in term time.

titchy · 30/06/2019 10:38

Taking out a loan with no intention of paying it back is immoral.

Don't be so silly it's a graduate tax in all but name (Augar review wants that changed so it might well be hopefully). Cost to Treasury calculated at 50% repay. Thats like saying it's immoral to work part time if you avoid the higher rate of tax.

Dungeondragon15 · 30/06/2019 11:32

We looked at the full spectrum of accommodation. The faces some people were pulling in the cheaper accommodation were unbelievable especially as it was in front of some of the students who were living there at the moment. It struck me as very precious.

As I said though, the people pulling the faces would be children aged 16 or 17.You can't extrapolate that to say that students nowadays are all spoilt especially considering that some of them were living cheaper accommodation.

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 30/06/2019 12:14

it's a graduate tax in all but name

That would be because the name it uses is a better descriptor. A loan is a loan. If you want a graduate tax you need to campaign for one.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 30/06/2019 18:58

Some people moaning about workshy students seem to not be taking into account that even if a student is entitled to a full maintenance loan (or a part one topped up to full by parents) it STILL doesn’t cover ALL living costs in many places. These students will have to work PT DESPITE being given a full loan amount.

For the parents of students at these places, to refuse to even give the basic top up to the loan, please consider that you’ll be putting them in the position where they will need to work many ADDITIONAL hours in order to afford the odd night out or trips to visit friends in other unis or decent food. thus potentially putting the classification of their degree at risk. I just don’t understand why such parents who can afford to top up to the basic loan (which may not cover all living costs anyway) refuse to do so.

howwudufeel · 30/06/2019 19:13

Dungeon the students pulling their faces were the people looking around not the students living in the accommodation. They were really rude and rather spoilt.

Dungeondragon15 · 30/06/2019 19:17

Dungeon the students pulling their faces were the people looking around not the students living in the accommodation. They were really rude and rather spoilt.

Yes, that is my point. They were 16 or 17 years old school children rather than students so you can't extrapolate their actions to students are spoilt.

Dungeondragon15 · 30/06/2019 19:18

Yes, that is my point. They were 16 or 17 years old school children rather than students so you can't extrapolate their actions and say that students are spoilt.

howwudufeel · 30/06/2019 19:26

They were looking at accommodation they’ll be booking in April dungeon What a bizarre point to make Confused

titchy · 30/06/2019 19:29

A loan is a loan

Thats the point though - it doesn't look act or get treated the same as any other sort of borrowing at all. No demands to keep up repayments if you're made redundant, balance wiped clean after a fixed period of time regardless of how much left to pay, repayments based on your income only. How many other loans are you aware of that work like that?

Now compare to the system of taxation: similar huh?

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 30/06/2019 19:53

Still a loan whatever income protection or get out clauses.

Dungeondragon15 · 30/06/2019 21:21

They were looking at accommodation they’ll be booking in April dungeon What a bizarre point to make

Not if they are in year 12. Anyway, if anything is bizarre it is looking at the expressions of school children who are living at home and to decide that a lot of students are spoilt.

howwudufeel · 30/06/2019 21:26

It was hard not to see their expressions given we were packed into a small space Confused

HorridHenrysNits · 01/07/2019 10:46

I always wonder how the pay back all your loans types square their views with the sell off of thousands of them. Lots of people now 'owe,' an entirely different body and there's no longer any possibility of the state benefitting from their repayments.

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 01/07/2019 10:53

This pay back what you’ve borrowed “type” (holy shit!) is aware that debt can be sold because it is possible to honour your loans AND watch the telly/read a paper/blah/blah

Oliversmumsarmy · 01/07/2019 11:02

Instead of judging who pays what with regards to university shouldn’t you be looking at whether your children actually need to go to university at all.

Given I think only 15% of university students ever earn more than £21000 per year for enough time to pay off their university loan I cannot understand why so many people consider a degree the gateway to a higher salaried job

serenitytoad · 01/07/2019 11:06

My parents could not afford to pay anything towards my costs when I was university. I would never have expected them to! I knew of some students who were given a contribution towards rent or food - to me they seemed like they were from wealthy families, none of the friends I grew up with had that.

I got an evening job, used a student overdraft and back up credit card etc.

Working part-time whilst studying is not that hard. There are plenty of mature students travelling long distances, bringing up children and sometimes working too. It just takes good time management (although I’m sure it is different for some courses with full-time placements, nursing for example.)

titchy · 01/07/2019 11:30

Given I think only 15% of university students ever earn more than £21000 per year for enough time to pay off their university loan I cannot understand why so many people consider a degree the gateway to a higher salaried job

LOL! The above is exactly why (though I dispute the 15% - source?). If you do't earn enough you don't pay it back. If you do then it's been worth the investment. Win-win.