AIBU To judge parents who refuse to pay their contribution to student maintenance loan at Uni?

[ThunderandPharoah]

Have got some friends who are not going to stump up for their parental contribution when their DD starts Uni this year. Can't help thinking that this is a pretty low thing to do as they are not exactly short of money. Would you judge?

We were paying ~£15kpa on childcare (i.e. equivalent to the current max parental contribution for 3DC at Uni) and working PT (so as soon as we went back FT our income increased by 25 %). My child who is about to start state secondary costs far less now than she did as a small child, even with her increased demand for money, food, clothing, electronic devices, sports clubs, holidays and social life. When the DC were small we saved only nominal amounts, now we save far more per month than we'll be expected to contribute when she and her sister go to Uni at the same time.

For those saying ‘ Parents on a high income should have been saving!), it would be nice (if impractical) if the assessment took into account what your average income had been for several years, not just this year.

We have had several years when I earned too little to pay tax, let alone stash away savings for university- it’s great to have more income now but it’s more like trying to afford it off three years of saving than 18.

It costs me far more than £5k a year for each child in secondary and mine are not into any massive extracurricular stuff and go to state schools.

Then you'll easily afford the £5k max contribution when they go to Uni.

Yeah it’s a breeze

scaryteacher Stop going on about that fact that you could afford tuition fees so paid them. I'm not sure if you are try to boast about the fact that you did this or are trying to convince yourself that it was sensible but either way it is not relevant to this debate as there was no expectation for you to do that unlike the top up to the maintenance loan.

spoken as only someone with small children could. Secondary school plus children are massively more expensive than teenies!

Not if you had to pay childcare costs for the teenies!

That is why you have to save in advance. You have 18 years to save/think about it

To posters like this, and others with similar comments,I think you live in different worlds to the rest of us. I was a single parent for years, there was no opportunity to save. At all.

I met DH when my DC were much older. This meant that his income was included alongside mine when the uni calculations were done, even though they weren't his children and I'd had little time to save anything.

There doesn’t seem to be any comprehension that some families just may not have a spare £15k. If people truly believe toddlers cost more to send to nursery for a few years than teens at secondary they are in for a really nasty shock. Food at home, food at school, transport, clothes/tech, full fares at activities, ....and that’s if you have no additional needs for them or you, elderly dependents.

Daft.

There doesn’t seem to be any comprehension that some families just may not have a spare £15k.

There doesn't seem to be any comprehension that not all families need to have a "spare" £15k. It only applies to those on higher incomes and you can save up for it.

If people truly believe toddlers cost more to send to nursery for a few years than teens at secondary they are in for a really nasty shock.

I have older teenagers so am not in for a "nasty shock". They cost me less than they did when I had to pay childcare fees. Food doesn't cost much more and although I have to pay a bit for transport and activities it's nowhere near as much as the nursery fees were. People pay 100s a week for nursery. How are you spending that much on food, transport and activities?

How does feeding a hungry teenager (or more than one) not cost you more than feeding a toddler?

How does feeding a hungry teenager (or more than one) not cost you more than feeding a toddler?

I said it doesn't cost much more not that it doesn't cost more at all. i.e. nothing like nursery fees!

I’m surprised, for us it is considerably more expensive to have teens, possibly the maths is different if you both work outside the home.

@Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis - do your teens eat £20k of food per year? People clearly said "childcare costs".

"possibly the maths is different"

possibly

What a spectacularly stupid thing to say. No toddler looks after themselves for free.

From the first page Surely when a child is at home you are paying for their bed and board so should be the same amount when they go to uni

But a lot of people get child benefit and other benefits for a child living at home.

Once at university the benefits stopped but you are expected to pay?

Stop going on about that fact that you could afford tuition fees so paid them. I'm not sure if you are try to boast about the fact that you did this or are trying to convince yourself that it was sensible but either way it is not relevant to this debate as there was no expectation for you to do that unlike the top up to the maintenance loan

Far be it for me to defend ST, as we've clashed over brexit a few times BUT it is relevant that tuition fees have trebled and that the mtce loan used to be a grant.

She wants to avoid her children being loaded with debt/tax whatever you wish to call it... the policies of the Govt have made that very difficult for many parents.

Far be it for me to defend ST, as we've clashed over brexit a few times BUT it is relevant that tuition fees have trebled and that the mtce loan used to be a grant.

The tuition fees are not relevant to the question of whether parents should give their expected contribution because they are not expected to contribute to the tuition loan. I'm not sure how the fact that they get a maintenance loan rather than a grant is relevant to the question either.

She wants to avoid her children being loaded with debt/tax whatever you wish to call it... the policies of the Govt have made that very difficult for many parents.

I know what she wants to do but given that it is not expected how is it relevant to the question of whether parents should top up the maintenance loan by the expected amount?

@Mrex I think you must be reading a different thread, the poster before said..
Food doesn't cost much more
But to respond even more clearly to her points, transport and activities are also much more expensive, as are clothes and holidays and phones and well everything really.

What a spectacularly stupid thing to say. No toddler looks after themselves for free.
No of course they don’t BUT if you are at home then the “cost of childcare” is not increased by, for example having more children and if you are STILL at home when they are teens the impact is noticeable in different ways.

But to respond even more clearly to her points, transport and activities are also much more expensive, as are clothes and holidays and phones and well everything really.

The extra on food is no where near the cost of childcare and even if you add the extra for clothes (a bit more due to VAT), holidays (which are optional) and phones (I spend about £7.50 a month per child) it is still nowhere near as much as childcare for preschoolers.

No of course they don’t BUT if you are at home then the “cost of childcare” is not increased by, for example having more children and if you are STILL at home when they are teens the impact is noticeable in different ways.

So you are a SAHM who hardly paid for any childcare. The poster who said that parental contribution would be less than paying "massive childcare fees" she has just been paying was clearly not a SAHM so why comment "spoken as only someone with small children could. Secondary school plus children are massively more expensive than teenies!" For her having teenagers it will be nowhere near as expensive as having teenies at nursery with massive childcare costs.

Being a sahm is not free. You usually (unless you have an extremely accommodating job you can do from home in between childcare) take a loss in income. IF you are still at home when your child/ren go to university the DIFFERENCE in cost of food and activities is clearer.

Being a sahm is not free. You usually (unless you have an extremely accommodating job you can do from home in between childcare) take a loss in income.

You told the poster that having teenagers was more expensive than have teenies even with massive childcare costs. Are you now saying that you took a big loss in income to be a SAHM and financially it is easier having teenagers than teenies for you too? If so what is your point?

No I said quite clearly that teenagers are more expensive than toddlers/preschoolers. Given that I am a sahm now and was one then MY childcare costs for my children as that are going on to university are the same, ie loss of income etc, and the cost of having them is more, given food activities clothing and everything else is more expensive. What don’t you understand?

Dungeon Since when were you appointed the thread police?

The discussion is about should people support their kids at university. I pointed out that we did, for the whole lot. You may think that borrowing £27k and then paying a high rate of interest on it from the time the first payment hits your account is sensible, when there is no need to do so. I do not. Interest compounds.

Had we needed to borrow for this, it would have been cheaper to extend the mortgage for a couple of years.

I am not boasting, merely stating what we did and why.

Jasjas Moving back mid October...very excited.

The discussion is about should people support their kids at university. I pointed out that we did, for the whole lot. You may think that borrowing £27k and then paying a high rate of interest on it from the time the first payment hits your account is sensible, when there is no need to do so. I do not. Interest compounds.

The discussion and title of the thread is about whether it is reasonable for parents to refuse to pay their contribution to student maintenance loan at Uni? No one is asking whether parents should pay all the tuition fee in advance for their children.