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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU To judge parents who refuse to pay their contribution to student maintenance loan at Uni?

745 replies

ThunderandPharoah · 23/06/2019 07:59

Have got some friends who are not going to stump up for their parental contribution when their DD starts Uni this year. Can't help thinking that this is a pretty low thing to do as they are not exactly short of money. Would you judge?

OP posts:
Figmentofmyimagination · 25/06/2019 09:23

I think the arms race in university accommodation is largely to blame (although many universities only provide year 1 accommodation for their uk undergraduates, leaving a captive market of students for the private landlord market to rip off for their remaining years).

Universities set the bar in that first year, with their extremely high accommodation costs, leading the way for private landlords to follow. Expect to pay upwards of £500 a week all year. If it’s cheaper, be very grateful.

My DD1 went to oxford, as did I, but 30 years ago. Accommodation was allocated to my DD1 on a random basis and everyone paid the same (a lot, even though term time only).

DD1 had an en-suite bathroom with shower and her own fridge, all new mod cons and a queen size bed. I had a sink and - shock horror - had to cross the corridor to use shared toilets, baths and showers. We didn’t have a swanky gym but we had a lovely modern library, a couple of washing machines, a chocolate machine. We thought it was all great. Unsurprisingly it was far cheaper.

This expensive swankyness is replicated across the country and we parents have to pay through the nose for it.

It’s also changing the social fabric of many universities. For example London is off limits for many uk students once they see the accommodation costs - and the undergraduate population is now disproportionally made up of extremely wealthy overseas students, changing the university’s dynamic.

At other unis, you can choose between very expensive, posh accommodation and more basic accommodation - entrenching social inequality into new friendship groups, the very moment your child walks through the door. I remember my friend dropping off her daughter at the top notch accommodation at Bath and commenting on the number of Range rovers in the car park ....

It’s a giant mess.

Figmentofmyimagination · 25/06/2019 09:25

£500 a month not week in my post obviously! Lol.

EleanorReally · 25/06/2019 09:38

according to my calculations i should pay dd £168. a year, based on household income.
breathes sigh of relief,
can manage just over ten pound a month

Dungeondragon15 · 25/06/2019 09:46

Universities set the bar in that first year, with their extremely high accommodation costs, leading the way for private landlords to follow. Expect to pay upwards of £500 a week all year. If it’s cheaper, be very grateful.

The universities themselves often aren't making much if any money out of the accommodation. A lot of the "university halls" are actually owned by private providers rather than universities (although, not Oxford I'm sure). The high costs are also often thanks to PFIs. I blame the fuckwit university accountants and management (who have probably been on really high salaries) for a lot of the mess and inequality.

GreySk1es · 25/06/2019 11:12

If we’re expecting parents to save for uni why are we supporting parents with childcare. It’s only a short amount of time. There seems to be double standards here. Squeezed families who need support with childcare will need it for uni too.

Dungeondragon15 · 25/06/2019 11:24

If we’re expecting parents to save for uni why are we supporting parents with childcare. It’s only a short amount of time. There seems to be double standards here. Squeezed families who need support with childcare will need it for uni too.

Who is "we". Do you mean the Conservative party? I didn't vote for them and have nothing to do with their policies. I actually think that all students should be able to access a full loan and that parents shouldn't be involved as that is unfair to the students.
Rightly or wrongly though parents have always been responsible for the their children's maintenance at university if they earn over a certain amount and to not save and then complain that it is hard to "suddenly find the money" is very unfair to their children. The current system is not their fault and it is certainly not their fault that their parents earn too much for them to receive a full loan.

scaryteacher · 25/06/2019 11:28

Tapas and Dungeon We wanted ds to come out of university with no debt, therefore we had decided that loans weren't the way to go. We could afford to pay for it, so we did.

FWIW, I had a the minimum maintenance loan when I did my PGCE at 35...took bloody ages to pay off, as it took forever to get the repayments going, and I could have used the money elsewhere.

The university hasn't lost out as we paid it (with a discount if you paid the tuition in full for the year up front), and the govt hasn't lost out as they haven't had to fork out money and then write it off years later.

I am quite cynical, and do think that at some stage there will be no write off of these loans, so paid up front. Our money, our choice. I see it as an investment in ds and his education.

RomanyQueen · 25/06/2019 11:29

Where do you find how much you will need to contribute?
There's no way i could afford to give dd money, i'm a sahm and low income. I wonder why tc and cb stop if they are still considered the responsibility of parents post 18.
I'm sure she'll be ok though and of course we'd let her stay at home free, to study. A job during the holidays should help for the following year. Then there's Go fund me which should help, and hopefully a bursary from the college.

scaryteacher · 25/06/2019 11:35

Dungeons The only people I know who have paid it all for their DC are very well off and barely notice a payout of 18k/year. We noticed it, but it was done from income.

scaryteacher · 25/06/2019 11:37

Romanyqueen www.gov.uk/student-finance

titchy · 25/06/2019 11:45

i'm a sahm and low income.
If your household income is less than £25k a year you are NOT expected to contribute.

AFAIK we only support childcare costs (via tax credits) for low income households - same as the loan. If you mean the tax breaks on childcare, I agree maintenance that parents pay should be subject to the same tax break - like it was until deeds of covenant for student support were abolished 30 odd years ago (thanks Maggie)

Dungeondragon15 · 25/06/2019 12:07

Tapas and Dungeon We wanted ds to come out of university with no debt, therefore we had decided that loans weren't the way to go. We could afford to pay for it, so we did.

So you keep saying. It's up to you but don't argue that it is something that you had to find the money for. You could have left it to your child or you could have (as I am doing) think that you can see how it goes. They may not earn enough to ever need to pay anything.

Dungeondragon15 · 25/06/2019 12:10

Where do you find how much you will need to contribute?

It's here www.gov.uk/student-finance

AnthonyCrowley · 25/06/2019 12:11

Ive saved for dd since she was little. I still didn't factor in the fact she would choose a 7 year degree! Shock

RomanyQueen · 25/06/2019 12:37

Oh, I don't need to contribute then. Does it mean they get the full maintenance allowance if parents don't need to contribute, and would this be the same if their college was near to home and they lived with parents.

RomanyQueen · 25/06/2019 12:40

My God a 7 year degree is it law, or medicine?

I thought my dd's was bad it will be 4 years undergrad and then the subject is advised to be studied at PG level.

Dungeondragon15 · 25/06/2019 13:06

Oh, I don't need to contribute then. Does it mean they get the full maintenance allowance if parents don't need to contribute, and would this be the same if their college was near to home and they lived with parents.

They get a full loan if you are on a low income. The amount is lower if they stay at home.

bluebluezoo · 25/06/2019 13:07

My God a 7 year degree is it law, or medicine?

Architecture I think is the only 7-year UG degree.

AnthonyCrowley · 25/06/2019 13:14

Yes, architecture. Technically it's not all undergrad. But you can't be an architect until you've done all 7 years and from a student finance point of view they're counted as UG. Apart from maybe the last year....I haven't looked that far ahead yet!

RomanyQueen · 25/06/2019 13:50

oooh Architecture, I had no idea it would be such a long course.
Fascinating, and we need architectures.
ha, I sounded like Maureen Lipman with her "ology" advert Grin

My dd is music, but if she chooses Opera, it's the usual 4 year undergrad plus a year PG they are expected.

scaryteacher · 26/06/2019 01:03

Dungeon You might be happy not to pay the tuition fees; we could afford it. As the fees were trebled, we then had to find more money to do it.

We all pay one way or the other for the unpaid loans to be written off; the student loan book is projected in a Commons report to be £450 billion by the middle of the century (£105 billion as at March 2018). That means that money isn't being used for other things, like social care, schools, and defence.

Durgasarrow · 26/06/2019 04:43

Parents are supposed to take into consideration that this is their responsibility and start saving money for the children throughout their lifetimes. Since the aid availability is based on the parents income, if parents have a higher income, parents who have more money should be able to put away some money for children. It's part of the job of being a parent.

Sparklfairy · 26/06/2019 05:11

I flatshared with a friend during our gap year. When filling out her application,she smugly told me that because she wasn't living with her parents,she would apply for the full amount. Her parents are very very well off and would give her money whenever she asked for it so she would be living the high life as a student. I gave her a piece of my mind for that one and she eventually did put her parents financial details in the application. Potentially taking that money away from someone who actually needed it was despicable in my eyes and I never looked at her quite the same again.

CountFosco · 26/06/2019 05:54

I went to Uni in the 80s and didn't receive a grant because my parents earnt enough to support me and my brother. When my grandfather went to University his parents could only afford to pay for one of their children to go to Uni (no loans or grants inthe 1920s) so my Uncle couldn't go.

This is not new, although I guess with each generation there are families facing it for the first time. My DC will get the minimal loan when they go to Uni. My DC are young and we've only just stopped paying massive childcare fees and looking at the expected parental contribution it's less than we paid for childcare but we'll both be working FT so it'll be less of a stretch than that stage of life. Do people really expect to no longer have to support their children as soon as they turn 18?

So yes, I completely judge people on well above average income who refuse to support their children's education. If you 'can't afford' to pay your contribution then you are living outwith your means.

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 26/06/2019 06:14

we've only just stopped paying massive childcare fees and looking at the expected parental contribution it's less than we paid for childcare but we'll both be working FT so it'll be less of a stretch than that stage of life.
Grin spoken as only someone with small children could. Secondary school plus children are massively more expensive than teenies!