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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU To judge parents who refuse to pay their contribution to student maintenance loan at Uni?

745 replies

ThunderandPharoah · 23/06/2019 07:59

Have got some friends who are not going to stump up for their parental contribution when their DD starts Uni this year. Can't help thinking that this is a pretty low thing to do as they are not exactly short of money. Would you judge?

OP posts:
titchy · 23/06/2019 17:47

They either don’t need the degree for the job they end up in or don’t work for years after,

Most will need their degree in their subsequent jobs though. Brave person who says their degree will never be needed with 45 years of working life ahead of them. Very few graduates work NMW for their entire lives. Promotion is likely for most.

What do you mean 'don't work for years after'? Less than 1% of graduates are long term unemployed - most unemployed because of a disability.

The loan payments should be repayable as soon as the course ends or the person drops out.

Repayments are due 9 months following graduating/dropping out....

Dungeondragon15 · 23/06/2019 17:48

When a company own over 700 venues they usually need a head office that employs several thousand people in different divisions, sections, regions and skills. With good pay, good holiday and sweet quarter bonuses.

You said that you work in bars, pub and nightclubs rather than a headoffice. Regardless, that fact that you have seen some drunk students in a nightclub does not mean that all students spend their time being drink and not doing any work. If you saw some drunk 30 year olds in a nightclub would you say that all 30 years get drunk and don't do any work?

titchy · 23/06/2019 17:51

I’d actually like to see stats on male vs female grad income if anyone has it?

It's difficult to model for a large number of reasons, but female graduates are estimated to earn £170k MORE over their lifetimes than female non-graduates. Male grads can expected to earn £250k more than Male non-grads.

Contraceptionismyfriend · 23/06/2019 17:54

@Dungeondragon15 I do work within the sites. More goes into running a venue then people believe.

smallereveryday · 23/06/2019 17:58

The whole loan system is wrong .. every student who takes a Loan is an ADULT... they should ALL be allowed to claim the maximum.
I had a work colleague who had a new relationship 18 months before the daughter went to Uni. Mum was a single parent..on NMW.. until this point the daughter was entitled to a full loan.. but because mums boyfriend moved in (who she genuinely likes a lot and is happy for her mum) HE is now expected to contribute to his partners daughters education .. HE HAS ONLY KNOWN HER SIX MONTHS !! He is a relatively high earner (50k) But has 3 children from previous marriage and pays 1200 Cm. Why SHOULD HE be responsible for tipping up this ADULTS loan. ??
Make it accessible for all. After all it's not free. My friends child didn't go to Uni because of this. It's wrong in every way a penalises blended families.

Dungeondragon15 · 23/06/2019 17:58

I have repeatedly said I will give them money. I will not give the expected amount. That's ridiculous. I would also expect my children to work and plan their own finances.

You may have said that you would "help" but at the same time have said that you wouldn't give them the full amount that you are expected to give. Even the "help" you may provide would apparently be contingent on their "behaviour" and plans. ll loan without someo

Dungeondragon15 · 23/06/2019 18:01

@Dungeondragon15 I do work within the sites. More goes into running a venue then people believe.

It is still ridiculous to state that all students get drunk and do no work just because you have seen some drunk students when you have worked in a bar. I'm sure that you have see drunk 30 years old too but I doubt that you assumed they didn't work and that all 30 years spend their time drunk.

Contraceptionismyfriend · 23/06/2019 18:01

No I wouldn't give them the full amount. I wouldn't downsize to our home for them to go to Uni.
And yes it would depend on their behaviour. I've seen posts on here from parents furious that their Uni DC are spending reading week in the sun after they've been providing money religiously.

If they had money to waste then I wouldn't give them more.

Dungeondragon15 · 23/06/2019 18:06

No I wouldn't give them the full amount. I wouldn't downsize to our home for them to go to Uni.

Why would you need to downsize your home if you earn a good salary and have had plenty of time to save?

Contraceptionismyfriend · 23/06/2019 18:09

@Dungeondragon15 because our mortgage would be comparable to our salaries Hmm because to support them based on what is being dictated by the Uni it would have to be disposable income. Which we probably wouldn't have based on the house we would own.

Thursday452poh · 23/06/2019 18:14

@pazwaz70 totally agree with you!

21daysofsummer · 23/06/2019 18:17

The child can sign a form to say that their parents will not be supporting them and then they can get the maximum amount of loan.

FuckYouRichardParker · 23/06/2019 18:18

It's the tuition loan that may never get paid back as at the moment it is written off after a certain period of time. The maintenance loan has to be paid back (it is never written off)

Haven't read the full thread, sorry, but is this true? I thought the whole amount was written off?

Dungeondragon15 · 23/06/2019 18:19

because our mortgage would be comparable to our salaries hmm because to support them based on what is being dictated by the Uni it would have to be disposable income. Which we probably wouldn't have based on the house we would own.

What do you mean when you say your mortgage would be comparable to your salaries.Hmm If you already have a mortgage and your children are not currently anywhere near university age then the mortgage will be a lot lower in relative to your salaries than it is now and may even be paid off.

Dungeondragon15 · 23/06/2019 18:20

Haven't read the full thread, sorry, but is this true? I thought the whole amount was written off?

No I wrote after that that I may be wrong. I think that things are changing though so people can't bank on it being written off.

scaryteacher · 23/06/2019 18:21

@Yabbers We perfectly understood the ramifications of paying the tuition upfront. It always astounds me that some don't consider that those of us who are able to do this for our kids haven't done our research, and decided on balance that if we can avoid student loans altogether, then that is a good use of our disposable income.

We both benefited from free tuition when we went to university, and could afford to do the same for ds. Why make him have debts of £34k+ for tuition (he did an MA as well) when we can afford for him not to? As an only he will get the lot anyway, and supporting him at university isn't counted as gifts for IHT purposes.

21daysofsummer · 23/06/2019 18:22

The maintenance loan also gets written off.

FuckYouRichardParker · 23/06/2019 18:24

Thanks @Dungeondragon15 and @21daysofsummer

RomanyQueen · 23/06/2019 18:30

As soon as mine is in the 6th form, I'm starting her Go fund me page.
plus she will be working from 16+, might live at home too, which should save a bit.
I can afford to keep her rent free, but she will have to earn anything she wants.
I do help with driving lessons and associated costs, though and have saved this for all 3 dc.

SnowyAlpsandPeaks · 23/06/2019 18:34

Ds gets the full loan entitlement and the full grant available. He also works part time. He commutes so no halls etc to pay, and me and his dad help him out as much as we can- new clothes, pay for him and his gf to come out with meals with each (or occasionally all together- we have a great relationship), don’t ask for any rent, board etc.

I wish we were both in our old jobs where we could really afford to help him, but health etc hits and we can’t. But we do as much as we can.

To hear that people can afford it, but just don’t want to, I find sad. We do all we can for our kids. I can not understand that mentality of not supporting them. I want my dc to do as well as they can at university, not go there worrying about how they will pay not months rent and bills.

titchy · 23/06/2019 18:38

The child can sign a form to say that their parents will not be supporting them and then they can get the maximum amount of loan.

No they won't. SLC will need a social worker or similar to vouch for their estrangement. It's really not that easy at all unless you're over 21 in which case you're assumed to be independent anyway.

Decorhate · 23/06/2019 19:37

Titchy I don’t think it’s correct that it is assumed you are independent when you are over 21. Dd is 22 and has 2 more years to go (medicine) and our income is most definitely still being taken into account

Kittekats · 23/06/2019 19:39

Parents are expected to contribute a maximum of about £5,000 a year which is not much

Maximum is £5,700 if they study in london. That is £475 per month!!

Not many people have a spare £475 per month just hanging around even if they do as a household earn over the magic £68k or whatever it was.

Kittekats · 23/06/2019 19:41

As soon as mine is in the 6th form, I'm starting her Go fund me page.

Seriously?! Why should other people fund it?

yearinyearout · 23/06/2019 19:56

Bonniebellestar that's the whole point of this thread. Students whose parents have a higher income get a LOWER student loan that isn't even enough to pay their rent, let alone actually eat/buy books/have a social life. Therefore their parents are supposed to pick up the shortfall unless they work as well as study, which is fine if they do a degree with 12 hours a week contact time. Students doing medicine or science degrees have a much higher workload.

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