AIBU To judge parents who refuse to pay their contribution to student maintenance loan at Uni?

[ThunderandPharoah]

Have got some friends who are not going to stump up for their parental contribution when their DD starts Uni this year. Can't help thinking that this is a pretty low thing to do as they are not exactly short of money. Would you judge?

When everyone’s fees were paid for them and the maintenance grant was means tested, every child - no matter what their background - had an equal chance

Nice dream. Didn’t work like that in reality.

High mortgages aren’t a choice if you live in an expensive area.

Interesting that those on £25k are deemed poor enough for their dc to get full loans but those on £30 are so rich they can save for future uni whilst working upvthe career ladder or they shouldn’t have kids

I don't think you have to pay that much on £30K either. It is a sliding scale not £5K or nothing.

High mortgages aren’t a choice if you live in an expensive area.

By the time their children go to university many people have paid off their mortgage and even if they haven't the monthly amount is relatively low.

But it's not just £1250, as people have said, the loan + government deemed top-up doesn't necessarily cover the rent and then there's living expenses on top.

M1Mountain Nobody has a gun to your head forcing you to live in an expensive area

Above the average or not it’s a lot on that income for families who won’t have spent years on that salary.

That median will include those with a sahp or part time worker which is often a choice. Why should others working loads more hours or working in an expensive area with a salary that reflects the area with higher living expenses have to stump up more just because they earn more or live in an expensive area?

Many are forced to live where the work is.

Interesting that those on £25k are deemed poor enough for their dc to get full loans but those on £30 are so rich they can save for future uni whilst working upvthe career ladder or they shouldn’t have kids

Those on £30k will find their kids receive almost the full maintenance loan - £8,300 a year.

It was the reality @Yabbers, I was one of those who benefited from it.

@bluebluezoo it’s based on needs and resources like any other maintenance application. So if as you suggest, a child in full time education has had a big inheritance and so is financially self supporting, they would be unlikely to get awarded any maintenance. It’s not a common situation for a university student though is it.

Maintenance can be enforced by the courts in the usual way, so yes, can be deducted from earnings. I have seen one case of a young woman pursuing her father for maintenance at university. She was awarded a reasonable amount which she eventually had to have deducted from his earnings. They were already estranged though.

I personally would like to see maintenance better enforced for both younger and older children. I’d like to see the government for example, collecting it and paying it over. It’s a scandal that so many parents are evading their obligations and the children and often the resident parent suffer.

If it was someone other than single mothers and kids suffering, you can bet it would be better enforced.

And it’s ridiculous for people to complain about supporting kids when they are being educated unless you genuinely can’t afford it (in which case your child should at least receive a full loan). Don’t make excuses for yourself, children are blatantly not adults at 18 and whether or not you approve of their course or them going to uni at all is irrelevant. If you are evading your basic child maintenance obligations, you’re a pretty poor parent.

When maintenance loans were introduced one of the main arguments was they were not means tested as the grant had been. Not sure when that changed.
The most unfair element though is that the contribution is based on household income, not parental meaning new partners of one parent are in effect expected to contribute rather than both parents. That seems wrong to me.

The system is ridiculous whereby you are simultaneously a grown adult and a child dependent on your parents income. Expenses don’t go down hugely when a child moves out, it’s really just food as most people don’t downsize or turn their heating off when uni starts but most people can afford something. Whether they should have to or not or it should be a government/communal expense is another matter. Part time jobs are much harder to find than they were “in my day” and in an ideal world people should choose the uni and course for academic reasons rather than geographic ones. My nearest uni has a poor reputation and doesn’t do the subjects that either of my eldest are looking towards atm. I’d rather they didn’t go at all than did it half arsed and ended up with a degree in some random subject.

I know a couple of people who refused to financially support their dcs. The worst was a school friend whose father was an NHS consultant who also did private work and his mum was a GP. Obviously I didn’t know if they had any mystery expenses but they made a point of telling everyone that they wouldn’t support him or his bro out of principle. This was years ago with the grant system but the grant was based on parental income unless the parents declared they were estranged, which they wouldn’t do. His bro got through which proves it can be done but my mate dropped out because he just couldn’t cope with the academic work on top of a job with enough hours to completely support himself. It was a lab based subject so lots of contact time. The rights and wrongs of a the system aside, I think this is a shitty way to treat your kids, and in this case a complete waste of 11ish years of private school fees.

In the same week that I got my DDs maintenance loan amount , I got a letter saying her child benefit would stop! Is she a child dependent on me or not???

High mortgages aren’t a choice if you live in an expensive area.hmm
Unless you live in a bedsit they are!

So you’re suggesting families live in bedsits, don’t be ridiculous.

We are expected to contribute nearly £8000 next year as per student finance information (2 kids) we don't have any spare!

One option is for kids to delay uni to save up a bit first? There are very few courses that require people to go into straight from school. If my kids didn’t know exactly what they wanted I’d encourage them to do this. They get more financial support for the first undergrad degree (am I right in thinking that further degrees at the same level wouldn’t get the same level of govt loan?) - hopefully they will use it wisely.

There’s also the parents who just don’t have the money management skills to pay. High mortgage, high living costs etc...

There has been several threads on here asking whether a family can afford to live in london on 80k+. Some posters claim London is unaffordable on 100k +.

So if you are one of the millions who live in london and parents aren’t on big money then how do they afford it?

No i didn’t suggest a family live in a bedsit. I said unless you are living in the smallest accommodation that exists in an expensive area you can downsize. A one bed if suitable for a family of four if that’s all you can afford. And if you can’t afford to support your dc that’s a choice you need to make.
Or you can commute to work, a friend of mine commutes 100 miles to Birmingham from a Northern town four days a week.

Great if the traffic isn’t gridlock,you have decent roads,can afford the petrol and cope with the stress.Meanwhile others choose to have a sahp or work part time and get it paid for. Think I know what I’d rather do- reduce hours. Great for the economy

I’ll ignore your simply ridiculous suggestion that a family of 4 live in a 1 bed.

I don't want mine working shitty jobs when they should be concentrating on doing as well as they can and enjoying student life , when I am in a position to support them

Then you're putting them at a distinct disadvantage because they'll come out with no experience so, unless you can continue supporting them in their enjoyment of life, quite a few of them wind up in 'shitty jobs' as employers will usually pick the candidate who's proven they're a good employee and able to balance work with outside life.

You make a choice to live in an expensive area M1Mountain. Most of the expensive areas I can think of have much cheaper areas within a ten minute drive.

It’s really unfair.

If you go aged over 24, they can’t count your parents income, and you get full maximum everything!

You can enter into a sham marriage, and then they can’t count your parents income (only your partners).

If you decide to have a baby aged 18-24 and claim benefits or JSA they don’t take your parents income into account.