Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU To judge parents who refuse to pay their contribution to student maintenance loan at Uni?

745 replies

ThunderandPharoah · 23/06/2019 07:59

Have got some friends who are not going to stump up for their parental contribution when their DD starts Uni this year. Can't help thinking that this is a pretty low thing to do as they are not exactly short of money. Would you judge?

OP posts:
SeaViewBliss · 23/06/2019 08:03

What do you mean by paying a parental contribution?

My DD is self sufficient because we can’t afford to help her. That’s what student loans are for and she works to top it up.

londonrach · 23/06/2019 08:03

You dont know the ins and outs of people financies. I would despite having a friend who parents gave her nothing to help at uni and she did three jobs. She said despite them being told they needed to help she said they didnt have any spare cash and giving her money meant less money to feed her brothers and sisters and she was fit enough to work.

londonrach · 23/06/2019 08:04

Wouldnt not would! Yabu by the way

AuntieStella · 23/06/2019 08:05

This isn't the sort of thing I'd expect to know about another family.

It seems stingy, and very much against the DC's interests (to be scraping around and worried, when they shouid be studying; or having to,find a job, which again cuts in to the time available to study though that can be managed; or just accumulating extra debt on credit cards or whatever)

SimonJT · 23/06/2019 08:05

This happened to me, I had moved out at 17 and started uni a year late at 19, despite this I was still classed as dependent on my parents. They refused to provide any financial details so I was awarded the lowest loan/bursary combination.

If parents genuinely can’t afford it I wouldn’t judge at all, but I do those who choose not to help.

Benes · 23/06/2019 08:06

seaview there is an expected parental contribution. It's not made explicit which is outrageous.

Martin Lewis has some useful information.

JustDanceAddict · 23/06/2019 08:07

If they can afford it then they should contribute. If not then that’s a different story.
Surely when a child is at home you are paying for their bed and board so should be the same amount when they go to uni / then topped up by the student for ‘extras’. The fees are not paid upfront and that’s for the student to get taxed on later on.

MeanMrMustardSeed · 23/06/2019 08:07

The whole point is that it’s means tested. If you have a low household income the student gets full loan, if it’s a high household income, the loan is lower and the parents should make up the difference. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong, just that those are the assumptions.

Answeringonlyyesorno · 23/06/2019 08:08

How short is short? I'd expect DC to do some paid employment while at uni? Not everyone can support to a great extent. How many more kids are behind the first? Maybe they've already worked out they cant afford to support them all and want to treat them all the same?

AuntieStella · 23/06/2019 08:08

BTW, I wrote my response on the basis that OP is correct when she says this family aren't exactly short of money, and are not paying because they choose to, rather than that they find their contribution (caluculated on a sliding scale, and zero for very low income households) unaffordable.

The new loan scheme is going to rename it, isn't it? Because the parental part of student maintenance is so often forgotten about.

TapasForTwo · 23/06/2019 08:08

"My DD is self sufficient because we can’t afford to help her."

That's different from not wanting to help her. DD has CFS and will be doing a course that requires a lot of contact hours and lab work. It would be unreasonable to expect her to get a job because it will seriously impact her studying. So we will be supporting her through university, and we are fortunate that we can afford to.

Divgirl2 · 23/06/2019 08:08

It's hard to say. The contribution is based on the parental earnings and while some people might earn a lot, they likely also have more outgoings.

If parents can't afford it they can't afford it. I would never have expected my parents to take on second jobs or downsize their house to pay for my university spending money.

billybagpuss · 23/06/2019 08:09

My dd’s get the minimum meaning we are supposed to find £5000 pa to support them. We have commitments mortgages bills etc. All taken out before the introduction of student loans I might add. We don’t have savings at any significant level. I don’t even have a pension. There is no way on earth I can afford to supplement my kids £15k each over 3 years (£30k total over 5 years)

So sure if you want to judge away. Hmm

I make sure they don’t starve. I despaired when she wants to spend her holiday earnings on a mini break when I couldn’t afford a holiday that year I do what I can but that’s it.

SeaViewBliss · 23/06/2019 08:11

Thanks Benes. My DD has just finished her 2nd year and I’ve never heard of it! I’ll have a look.

DarklyDreamingDexter · 23/06/2019 08:12

I know someone who's doing this. Pleading poverty but living in a nice 5 bed house, both working in good jobs, 2 nice cars in the drive, 2 foreign holidays per year, lots of meals out, so not exactly scratching. No financial support to daughter except paying for 'toiletries' apparently. I can't believe that's the only financial contribution they can afford. So unfair.

EleanorReally · 23/06/2019 08:12

I bet you dont know the whole story.
You hear that they dont support their dc, however they may well be without broadcasting it
they may be encouraging their dc to be self sufficient.
they may have outgoings that dont allow for support

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 23/06/2019 08:14

Yes, I would. It's been deemed a contribution based on the household income.

However I'm sure many don't. You only have to look at the moaning re paying for anything for a child on here to know uni help won't be given to many.

QueenoftheBiscuitTin · 23/06/2019 08:15

I don't understand why parents are expected to fund thousands of pounds for uni. Who has that amount of money just lying around? Especially if you have more than 1 child.

blahblah88 · 23/06/2019 08:18

Part of the loan amount is based on parents income, so if someone from a well off family was given a lower loan but then no support from family I would judge. But only if it had affected the loan amount.

Passthecherrycoke · 23/06/2019 08:18

This sort of happened to me. Your fees and decided on parents salary so if the parents refuse to help what is the student supposed to do?

Mine initially didn’t want to pay so I found out that I could legally separate myself from them and their earnings wouldn’t be taken into account. This would necessitate solicitor court papers etc and is presumably usually done by the local authority to certain families. My parents pride stopped them from being associated with “those people” so they paid.

I must admit, I think it was £1k a year and my parents had 2 other children and it probably wasn’t easily available. No easy answer

EleanorReally · 23/06/2019 08:19

Do dc actually have a discussion with parents about whether university is the best course for them? Financially do they consider alternatives, ie apprenticeships?
or do they just assume and then complain when they are poor?

Trafalger · 23/06/2019 08:21

YABU yes they are supporting them at home but in effect they then have to pay for another accommodation which a lot of people can't build into their budget. We couldn't afford it at the current moment in time. Parents still have the same bills at home. Food will be slightly cheaper but nothing else will. They still have mortgage/rent utilities etc...... if they have a big surplus of course they should help but if they don't then how do you expect them to find it?

Thursday452poh · 23/06/2019 08:22

What is their “parental contribution”? My parents didn’t contribute to uni at all, my was student loan and then I had a job in a pub a few shifts a week for spending money. No job = no spends!

University is expensive, student loan doesn’t take into consideration anything else Ie other children in the family, loans , mortgages, debts. Maybe the parents don’t actually have that amount of spare cash just lying around?

Original poster
ThunderandPharoah · 23/06/2019 08:23

I think that for students it is possibly advantageous to have parents on a lower income so they can qualify for a full loan to cover living costs. It must be tough for those on a minimum level loan where parents are not providing their assessed contribution. If the student has to get a job to survive, they have reduced time to do their studies. This means that in practice there are subjects like Medicine (with a heavy workload) that they will not be able to do.

OP posts:
TapasForTwo · 23/06/2019 08:23

"I don't understand why parents are expected to fund thousands of pounds for uni."

Unfortunately, that is the way it is these days. DD's maintenance loan won't even cover her accommodation.

Tuition fees were introduced when DD was small, so we have been saving for university for several years. I appreciate that not everyone can do this though. But I do get a bit Hmm at posters who decide to have 5th/6th/7th child without thinking as far ahead as teenage years and university.