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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU To judge parents who refuse to pay their contribution to student maintenance loan at Uni?

745 replies

ThunderandPharoah · 23/06/2019 07:59

Have got some friends who are not going to stump up for their parental contribution when their DD starts Uni this year. Can't help thinking that this is a pretty low thing to do as they are not exactly short of money. Would you judge?

OP posts:
Passthecherrycoke · 23/06/2019 08:45

Sorry my mix up benes

Benes · 23/06/2019 08:45

*paid

Nacreous · 23/06/2019 08:47

The loan system is a bit of a nightmare frankly. I went before the latest changes, but I used to get a bursary and a loan. My brusary decreased by £2 for every £5 extra my parents earnt, with the loan being increased to cover £1 of that decrease. We also got a matched bursary from the university. So that meant that for every £5 extra (gross) my parents earnt, I lost £3 of cash. Tax @ 20%, NI at 12% and pension (public sector so you can't choose) at 12% gives a 44% effective tax rate. So the loss to me was more than their total net pay increase. That is absurd.

But equally, I had friends whose parents were very well off and didn't give them anything and they also really struggled, and it seemed very mean of the parents. So I don't have an easy answer to whether or not it's fair. The expected contributions are a lot and overall I think everyone should be entitled to a maximum loan - the loan level should never been reduced. I can't remember if that happened in the most recent set of reforms or not.

SnuggyBuggy · 23/06/2019 08:47

I think I've been kind of raised to judge parents who take a "you're on your own now you're 18" approach. I don't get why you wouldn't want to see the next generation of your family do well.

I do agree it's a crap system that penalises people without wealthy parents

TheMichaelScottPaperCompany · 23/06/2019 08:47

I know a few families who don’t support their kids at uni on principal.

The childhood stage seems to be getting longer and longer. Loans, maintenance and a part time job. I don’t expect to be supporting 18/19/20 year olds. But I come from a family where if you can work you’re expected to. I worked from 13, my kids have all worked from 13. Giving a 19 year old 5k a year is just a no!

BlueSkiesLies · 23/06/2019 08:48

People commenting that their parents didn’t help... the system has changed. The amount you can borrow is based on your parents income and they are expected to top it up.

Chescascurious · 23/06/2019 08:51

@MargeryB
No, I don't think of myself as a child. I'm nearly 20, and wanted to move out, away from home and be as independent as possible, and yet due to the maintenance loan I couldn't afford it and still have to rely on my parents. I think it's ridiculous and the system needs to change.

daisypond · 23/06/2019 08:51

My DC’s student loan for maintenance barely covers her rent. Her tuition fees are covered by the loan. Parents are supposed to be involved and top up. That’s why they ask for parental income. It’s been this way for years. Only if you are deemed to be completely independent of your parents- and this needs substantial proof - will parental income not be taken into account.

maddiemookins16mum · 23/06/2019 08:52

Considering so many go to Uni for the experience/cos their pals are (and do nothing with their often pointless poor degrees) I wouldn’t be stumping up huge amounts of money.

ineedaholidaynow · 23/06/2019 08:52

But this was the position when I went to university in the 90s. There weren’t tuition fees but there were grants for accommodation etc, which were based on parental income.

I do wonder whether some parents think about this when they have large families

GreenTulips · 23/06/2019 08:52

Yes income not expenditure

We have 3 children and they aren’t taken into the equation.

These aren’t children’s they are adults yet are still treated as children

They system is nowhere near fair.

EleanorReally · 23/06/2019 08:53

It is tough that as an adult students are still expecting their parents financial support

PettyContractor · 23/06/2019 08:53

What if the student had 179K in savings and investments when they start university, funded by gifts mainly from grandparents as they were growing up? Could it be OK for the parents to let the student pay her own way in that case?

I once knew a girl who as a student was the owner of a property inherited from a grandparent, which she let out.

EleanorReally · 23/06/2019 08:54

You think it is ok for students, let alone the parenting issue, to have such a loan around their neck just for the experience and because they dont know what else to do with the life?

AuntieStella · 23/06/2019 08:55

"People commenting that their parents didn’t help... the system has changed. The amount you can borrow is based on your parents income and they are expected to top it up."

And twas ever thus.

No change. Even before maintenance was by loan, grants were awarded on a sliding scale depending on home income. And it's always been the case for loans.

Martin Lewis is dead right when he sorts the part of the new system which will make it explicit that this component exists. It has been a real eye-opener to me to see how many on this thread didn't know that, or thought it was new.

NauseousMum · 23/06/2019 08:55

I'm not sure how well anyone knows their friends or families finances and i think saying yabu or yanbu doesnt work unless its your own.

Do these calculations take into account outgoings on the parents? Loans, finance, other dc or dependents?
Do the dc want university but the parents disagree? I know from seeing my cousins go to uni and hearing parents talk about it that some dc chose to do a degree for something to do or they aren't suited too. One of cousin As friends did his gf course because they wanted to stay 'together'- it did not end well.

I'd also wonder if other dependents are taken into account too. DM/Ddad i bet people would judge despite a good amount of their earnings going towards nans care home (not that we'd do uni now).

TheMichaelScottPaperCompany · 23/06/2019 08:57

@EleanorReally, completely agree.

How many of these “kids” actually go for the degree and how many go because it’s expected and what their mates are doing? Degrees are ten a penny these days.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 23/06/2019 08:58

DS1 is about to go into the 6th form and I had a bit of a shock when I read Martin Lewis on this topic. DS1 will not get a full maintenance loan because of our income and so I am now budgeting for having to support him through Uni.

The maintenance loan is means tested on parental income

lifebegins50 · 23/06/2019 08:58

Ime, parents have to save to assist DC at uni. Rent is the biggest cost however my DC choose Unis where living costs were cheaper. We paid rent and the loans paid for everything else essential such as food, travel home. They worked to fund social life and clothes.

If you have DC and you want them to have the opportunity of Uni, then I think you need to factor in saving for them. It is the reality of the situation and we are now similar to the US with parents having to build college funds.

It is different from years ago and DC can't really work enough at Uni to fund all the costs as they would need a full time role.

swisscheeseplant · 23/06/2019 08:58

To those who will struggle to pay, make sure your DC apply for additional scholarships and bursaries. They need to start applying about a year before they go.

DD applies for and received a £1000 a year scholarship from a financial services company. This was not means tested.

She got £750 a year from a local education foundation. Again not means tested.

£1500 bursary from her university. This was means tested.

GreenTulips · 23/06/2019 08:59

You can migrate the loan and never have to pay it off, so it’s not really a debt as such

They recommend getting the maximum loans and grants to make life easier because you never have to return it all

Might seem like a huge sum but the reality is it isn’t

TheFirstOHN · 23/06/2019 08:59

I know a bright, academic 18 year old who has an offer from a high-ranking university.

The joint parental income is over the maximum threshold, so she only qualifies for the basic maintenance loan (not enough to cover rent alone, let alone start on living expenses). Her parents are not going to contribute financially at all.

She has been working a lot of hours to try to earn enough money for university, continuing to work through her A-level exams, and is now working two jobs. However, she also has outgoings (e.g. car insurance and petrol needed to get to main job) and has not managed to earn enough.

She has deferred the offer so she can work full-time for a year, but realistically I wonder if she will end up going at all.

This is not how the system is supposed to work.

Passthecherrycoke · 23/06/2019 09:00

No degrees were ten a penny in the naughties when we all went to uni. Young people now are much smarter about considering whether they need a degree and apprenticeships are now available

Benes · 23/06/2019 09:00

Eleanor firstly, the word loan wildly misrepresents what it actually is.....a graduate tax. Secondly, while university isn't for everyone, for many people its transformational. It provides a route into certain careers which can't be accessed without a degree and can provide an opportunity to learn and develop valuable skills.

Is university worth it - for a huge number of people, hell yes!!

creamofcarnation · 23/06/2019 09:02

This is the means tested maintenance loan based on parental income. This is what you get to live on.

AIBU To judge parents who refuse to pay their contribution to student maintenance loan at Uni?