AIBU To judge parents who refuse to pay their contribution to student maintenance loan at Uni?

[ThunderandPharoah]

Have got some friends who are not going to stump up for their parental contribution when their DD starts Uni this year. Can't help thinking that this is a pretty low thing to do as they are not exactly short of money. Would you judge?

Surely when a child is at home you are paying for their bed and board so should be the same amount when they go to uni / then topped up by the student for ‘extras’

It’s not that simple though. You’re not “paying for their bed” you’re paying for a family home already, they may even be sharing a room with a sibling at home. It may be the case that you would have to downsize in order to free up the money you spend on them whilst at home IYSWIM?
Also “board” for one person isn’t a hell of a lot in a family situation... a bit of extra cereal, sandwiches for lunch, a bit of extra chicken and veg at dinner, an extra shower once a day, and bit more electricity, their clothes wash will be integrated with the rest of the family.
It could mean the extra cost of having that person at home in terms of board, bed and food is relatively little compared to the costs of renting a room, food and utilities in student accommodation. The costs are nowhere near equal and the parents also often have to keep a room for them at home too so it’s double the cost.
It’s not as simple as ‘they’re paying it anyway’ is it

then marchioness, you should be proud of yourself and your achievements

I don’t think it’s necessarily that easy to find a job these days. My 17 year old has been trying for over a year to find a Saturday or evening job with no luck. Very few of his friends work for the same reason and we are not in a student town either.

DS2 got a bursary, because he did nursing, but it didn't cover his rent so he had to work too. We're not rich but we paid for all his grocery shopping ( I sent him a Tesco shop every week), all his textbooks and equipment for his course.

We're a one income family because I'm too sick to work. We're not rich, we're in that bracket where we earn to much for help but not enough for it not to make a massive impact on us when we have to pay for things like this.

DN was at uni at the same time as DS2 and as SIL is on a low income he got the full amount. His uni experience was completely different to DS2's. He didn't have to get a job and could have holidays in the Summer.

The whole student finance system isn't fit for purpose. It's ok people saying you've got 18 years to plan for your kids to go ti uni, but life happens. Things go tits up. I wasn't expecting for my disability to stop me from working when my kids hit 11/13, but it did and that messed our lives up completely.

Going to university isn't compulsory. I strongly feel that university should only be encouraged when the student knows what they want to study and why. When I left school most of my peers went to university through lack of knowing what else to do next. I went and got a job and am doing better than most of my peers aside from the ones who trained with a specific career in mind eg pharmacist, engineer, teacher.

Bursaries for NHS courses have been abolished....making it so much harder to recruit to those courses.

I had to support myself through university as my single parent mum couldn't help and my step mum prevented my dad from providing anything.
However, my loan covered my rent in its entirety. For many students today the loan doesn't even cover that.

DD goes to uni in Sept, based on our income, she will receive just over £4K maintenance loan, her accommodation is over £5K so she's short already without factoring in food, books. The means testing of parents income takes no consideration into your outgoings or other commitments.

We're going to have to pay her a monthly amount, which will decrease when she finds work - no alternative, she'll have to work. She will also have to learn to budget very carefully and food shop wisely. Which isn't a bad lesson to learn really.

A friend has lied about her income (self employed, didn't include dividends etc), and her DD has been given the maximum maintenance loan, and she isn't even going to be living away from home.

Going to university isn't compulsory
No it’s not, but where I live you’d struggle to even get a basic admin job earning £18k without one.

little but not everyone knows what they want to do at 18 years old.
It's absolutely fine for a young person to choose a subject they enjoy even though they're unsure of a what career it might lead to. Many top graduate recruiters want students who've studied English or history for example as they value the skills developed..... accountancy firms love history students!

However, it's important that the student makes the most of the experience and works to develop their employability skills. The students that do this do well even though they arrived with no clear career idea. Those that expect a graduate job to land on their lap simply because they attended university don't fare as well.

benes - yes, I know. I phrased it badly. They rented out their child’s bedroom to pay the parental share of the maintenance - the top-up- not the tuition fee per se.

I'll never understand why parents (who can afford it) refuse to help their kids with something as basic as education.

Tbh I'm shocked at how many parents have children at uni and don't understand how the system works.

Yes, if you have a higher income, your child will receive less money because the government expects you to top it up. If you can afford to do so, then yes you should top it up, as it's your earnings that are stopping your child get the full amount they need.

They're already not self sufficient, whether you like it or not, as they're being penalised for your earnings.

For those saying degrees are ten a penny and not worth the paper or that it’s just an excuse to get drunk with friends, do you not think it’s ever been thus - the difference being it’s no longer simply the preserve of the rich?
I think it’s somewhat insulting to those really hardworking students to be so dismissive. My guess is people saying similar don’t have degrees themselves and don’t understand the value of higher education for society.
Should we go back to where university was for the richest youngsters? Do you really think medical students , veterinary students, architecture students, pharmacy students, engineering students teaching students and many many more don’t work hard? That’s not my experience.

Fair enough daisy there is so much misinformation flying about this thread. I just wanted make sure people understand that you don't need to pay fees upfront.

Well said cherry

Also to clarify it’s not parental income that’s taken into consideration but household income.

So it totally screws stepparents too. For example, I live with my DP who has 2 DCs and I have 2 DCs also.
I am the RP of my children so it’s my household’s income that will be used in the calculations for student loans for my children, which includes my DP’s earnings even though we are not married and he is not their father.
My exH’s income is not considered because the DCs live with me.

DP and I have both climbed the career ladder and earn a combined income of £75K which sounds like a lot but we’re supporting 2 families with that as his ExW doesn’t work and my ExH contributes basic CMS for our two DCs.

If DP’s children decide to go to uni they will get the higher loan amount due to living with their low income mother and DP will easily be able to top it up so it’s win win for them.

My DCs however are screwed as they will assessed using our household income which means the lower loan amount and me struggling to pay top ups on only £30k a year salary, unless DP kindly offers to help support them which seems unfair as he’s got his own kids.

So I’m seriously considering asking DP to move out whilst the children are at uni if they all decide to go, at least they’ll have a sporting chance of not living in poverty for 3 years then.

I would judge, but I also think that the system is broken, as once again those who earn more are not only having to subsidise their own kids through uni they also have to subsidise other kids through uni through their taxes (as such a large proportion never fully pay their loans back).

I think there should be an expectation that once children are 18 they stand on their own two feet and parental income is not taken into account. But we should also have a fairer system where most graduates do pay their loans off rather than most don't.

For me it would be a very difficult situation if my kid only got 3 D's and wanted to go to a shit ex-poly to do a crap degree and I'm still expected to fund it.

My kids are young so I'm hoping the university fees system will be reformed by the time mine go and a lot of the worst universities are declassified as universities and the only degrees eligible for taxpayer funded loans are one which actually tangibly increase chances of getting a graduate job.

The household income calculations also do not consider other students being supported by the household, only the one on that claim.

If an adult expects another adult to finically support them the the student needs to accept that the parent has a say in their decision.
The parent can say for example that funds will only allow them to attend a local uni so they can live at home and that they must also get a job.

Uni is not a right. And they need to learn that they can't demand and expect the world on a plate.

The problem with providing funding for a student child through university is that you have absolutely no control of where your money is going. The university will not communicate with parents nor give any information on attendance or progress. Once a child leaves to go to university all parental control, except financial, is lost. The university does not want to know! Probably not that relevant to the topic but is one reason why I object to parents having to pay.

But what is a graduate job? The company I work for takes graduates. Most are from top universities, including Oxbridge, most have a master’s degree at the very least, and speak a foreign language. The pay is about 18k - and little room for progression. After several years many leave to retrain as teachers or go into nursing or the police or something else - often involving a new degree. Something that will give more pay or a pension.

I meant to say, it is not going to be possible for many people to pay off their student loans, because so many jobs pay so little.

My mother is on a pension and lives locally and would happily take my dc in the hols. Could my dc move in with her to get the max loans or would that be fraud?

A graduate job has a very technical definition. Just because an organisation specifies they want a graduate it doesn't mean it's a graduate job in an official sense. Jobs are coded......this is how universities define they graduate employability figures. It's very out of date though and is being looked at.