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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report parents for not registering the birth of a child

643 replies

Anon6356237 · 23/06/2019 07:14

Should I stay out of it or report? I'm concerned the child could fly under the radar if there are any concerns if they are not 'in the system'. Who would I report to?

OP posts:
Mabellavender · 23/06/2019 12:45

I don’t think you should report them unless you have other concerns. It sounds like they want to live off grid, it will be annoying to the child when they grow up ( if and when they ever work or need healthcare) but I imagine it’s pretty easily sorted. A lot of travellers do it.

lyralalala · 23/06/2019 12:50

@Mabellavendar it’s not “pretty easily sorted” as several people have documented on the thread.

It’s an absolute pain in the arse. The sooner it’s sorted the easier it is.

Can you imagine how much of a mess it’ll be for the child if their parents die or get seriously ill before sorting it? Not having ID is a nightmare. It’s difficult enough for people who don’t have photo ID let alone people who don’t officially exist.

ohtheholidays · 23/06/2019 12:53

Yes report it OP!

There have been awful stories of abuse that's happened to children that haven't been registered!

Mabellavender · 23/06/2019 12:54

It’s not that difficult. I know a couple of people who were t registered who had to do it all as babies and it was fine.

Mabellavender · 23/06/2019 12:54

As adults!

DuMondeB · 23/06/2019 12:55

Yeah, my dad was born in 1949 and his birth was finally registered in 1968.

It’s a different world now, and not being able to provide documentary evidence of your birth could leave you without the right to remain in a country (or get a passport or visa to allow you to leave one) and unable to access health care and education.

Birth registration is a universal human right:
www.ohchr.org/EN/HRBodies/HRC/RegularSessions/Session27/Documents/A_HRC_27_22_ENG.doc

Iputthescrewinthetuna · 23/06/2019 12:56

Birth cert is so much more important than you can imagine.
I don't know if this has already been brought up.
But if that child was kidnapped they would jot be able to prove that child is theirs.
I'm not sure how it would even work. But anybody could just take that child as their own maybe?

GloGirl · 23/06/2019 12:57

I'd report in a heartbeat.

DecomposingComposers · 23/06/2019 13:00

How difficult will this child's life be as an adult? No BC so no ID. Not able to open a bank account, not able to get a job as no way to prove "right to work", no NI number, presumably no qualifications either, not able to apply for a passport, claim benefits, get a mobile phone, not able to rent a home... How are they meant to live as an adult?

NannaNoodleman · 23/06/2019 13:07

@Backwoodsgirl are you writing a new monty python sketch... what did the government ever do for us? Aside from the roads, the sanitation, the infrastructure, the education, the healthcare ...

Isatis · 23/06/2019 13:08

For those saying report to SS, why? The op has said that she has no concerns regarding the child.

OP has no idea what goes on behind closed doors. Unfortunately history is littered with horrible tragedies where children have been abused and neglected for years whilst everyone who came in contact with the family was convinced they were fine.

AnnaComnena · 23/06/2019 13:09

Not able to vote, either, I should think. Or get married?

All very well saying it can be sorted when the child is an adult, but it's likely to start becoming a problem when she's 16-18. How many 16-18 yr olds would have a clue about where to start dealing with it?

Mummyoflittledragon · 23/06/2019 13:10

These people don’t want their child to be owned. Yet this is exactly what they are doing. The irony is clearly lost on these people.

Isatis · 23/06/2019 13:11

I agree kids need protection, I just don’t see it as the governments role

So whose is it, given that you can't necessarily assume that all parents will protect their children adequately?

My vows may be skewed as the government has never done anything for me or my family.

No education, no health care, no care for your mother when you were born, no police to protect you, no clean air, no roads, no sewage, no water? Seriously?

OrdinarySnowflake · 23/06/2019 13:16

Agree with others, report to social services or NSPCC, not the registry office.

This is significantly limiting this childs life as an adult. They wont just be able to sort it out later easily.

Plus what if something happened to the parents? Would the authorities know they had a child who needed care?

notapizzaeater · 23/06/2019 13:17

No one really knows what's going on behind closed doors. If people don't know this child exists then no one is looking out for them. Be that a gp, SS, school etc.

brilliotic · 23/06/2019 13:28

I'm wondering if they actually are her biological or legal parents. She could have been kidnapped at a young age.

It could be trafficking, illegal adoption.

Moralitym1n1 · 23/06/2019 13:30

Report to social services.

codemonkey · 23/06/2019 13:38

I think about the misery of the windrush generation and people's recent problems trying to prove they have a right to live and work in this country. Or anyone who's fled a country and been refused asylum. This is essentially what these people have imposed on their child. Staggeringly arrogant.

They sound like conspiracy theorists. Bringing children up with extreme wacky views is not a parental right, as some insist; it's a safeguarding issue. It has its own category of 'spiritual abuse'.

OP, report to SS.

Treefloof · 23/06/2019 13:46

This was some years ago so It was quietly dealt with without too many questions
And I had to only jump through some hoops to sort out my unofficial surname change back in circa 1989/90 (name was changed around 1974ish)
But now it's a whole different world, post 9/11 nothing is taken at face value. I cant imagine how a person with no Id at all can possibly prove they were born here, are allowed to reside here. Its life limiting to not be able to have a normal job, get a passport, bank account and the rest.
Without the BC as the foundation, nothing else can be got. The sooner its sorted the less the hassle.

Magdalene11 · 23/06/2019 13:55

Quite right if they don't want to and what is it got to do with you but out and mind your own.

Spanglyprincess1 · 23/06/2019 14:00

Report it it is actually an offence in the UK not to register a live birth.
The. Gov website should assist you, if not your local hv or midwife would know.

Proteinshakesandtears · 23/06/2019 14:01

Sounds like the family wants to be off the grid, it’s their choice and I would stay out of it. I wish I could drop off the grid like that.

Its not their choice to not register the children. They are depriving the kids of their own rights.

Camy believe someone uttered 'what the government ever done for us'

Ffs.Confused

Proteinshakesandtears · 23/06/2019 14:02

Quite right if they don't want to and what is it got to do with you but out and mind your own.

That's factually incorrect.

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 23/06/2019 14:16

Ignoring the future of that child like jobs,home etc here is why you should report.

Two worst case scenarios

  1. The child dies (regardless of circumstances) and the parents could simply bury it and no one would know. He never existed.

2.is the child even theirs? I'll let you consider the implications of that.

They could very well be decent,loving,caring parents. They could not be. No one would know and no safeguards would be in place. Too many children fall through the cracks with deadly and/or devastating consequences already even with those in place, do you really want to risk leaving one completely defenceless for the sake of "minding your own business "?